Tonight against Fulham, on the banks of the Thames,
Can we hope for another of those Hasselbaink gems?
Or perhaps we will settle for a first-game bazooka,
From our Aussie International, that’s big Mark Viduka.

We’ve not won down here for almost twenty long years,
But our team of big stars shouldn’t have any fears,
It’s time for that change so we must seek containment,
And go for the three points and not just entertainment.

With Juninho now departed let’s say “Thanks a lot,” and
Wish him all the very best, now he’s up there in Scotland,
His departure was to many, a big mystery,
And no doubt he’ll remain part of the Boro’s history.

Let’s retain all the memories and his victory waltz,
Claims he left for the money are absolutely false,
He was great for the Boro but now that he is gorn,
Let’s get on now with life and don't just sit there and mourn.

Mr. Gallagher blew the whistle, now the game can commence,
And support for the Boro lads is, simply quite immense,
Queudrue was soon guilty of fouling young Collins John,
But the kick was sent high and the chance quickly gone.

Boro got well inside the box as Jimmy led the raid,
An early chance for Viduka, but he missed it, I’m afraid,
He managed to get very close as in quickly he then leapt,
But he very narrowly failed as someone came in to intercept.

In a very scrappy opening Zenden managed to miscue,
To send Viduka’s cushioned header hopelessly askew,
No doubt he’ll get more bites at today’s proverbial cherry,
But this game's certainly not flowing like the last one at Highbury.

“Well done” to Bolo Zenden who, for once, had got out wide,
And his great cross from the left side had the ‘keeper terrified,
The resulting corner led to Parlour driving o’er the bar,
To the relief of the big Dutchman, their ‘keeper, Van der Sar.

JFH was pulled down as he was set to take a shot,
It’s 25 yards out and central so perhaps he’ll have a pot,
And that’s exactly what he did but he didn’t quite catch it clean,
So the save by Van der Sar was, in the end, well, quite routine.

Parnaby was the hero in a real almighty scramble,
If he’d miskicked it was a penalty but the young lad chose to gamble,
He knocked the ball to safety and displayed the utmost vigour,
As Cole, from only eight yards’ out, prepared to pull the trigger.

A dangerous cross from way out wide earned Zenden more acclaim,
This time another corner, so let’s have much more of the same,
Mendi curls the corner in and it’s dropped by Van der Sar,
Who is looking rather dodgy and his handling’s below par.

Suddenly there was mayhem by a long ball o’er the top,
And it seemed an odds-on wager that the Boro were for the chop,
Cole just couldn’t fail to score, and Mark had not a prayer,
But Schwarzer somehow rescued Boro with true grit beyond compare.

Greater Fulham pressure and real danger now unfurled,
As deep into the Boro box, a Jensen cross is curled,
Cole is once more in there, adding greatly to the tension,
But Boateng gives away a corner with a brilliant intervention.

Cole was again the danger as towards the ball he soared,
And, were it not for Boateng, I feel he certainly would have scored,
Although the ball’s eventually cleared, what every Boro fan observes,
Is that their favourites, at the moment, seem to be living on their nerves.

Bouba Diop is a big lad, who rose to a cross so very well,
But sent it wide of target in this better Fulham spell,
With Boro having lost their shape and suffering from frustration,
McClaren must be hoping for a speedy transformation.

Zenden is the man again, in search of Boro glory,
As he gets into the box deep inside the Fulham territory,
Finds Viduka with his back to goal, beside the penalty spot,
Who spun and fired but Van der Sar put an end to Boro’s plot.

Another route one ball, this time from Fulham’s big Zak Knight,
Fell to the feet of Andy Cole, who was instantly in full flight,
Thankfully for the Boro, his first touch was rather poor,
Otherwise Schwarzer was left stranded and Cole’d have scored, I’m really sure.

Radzinski’s now attacking, causing Boro’s nerves to rattle,
But Schwarzer’s wide awake and so he wins this little battle,
Setting up a break by Jimmy as the interval is neared,
And though a corner’s won for Boro it is very easily cleared.

So the first half was so awfully dull and really very scrappy,
And we need to get our fingers out and make it rather snappy,
An extra spark is needed and, unless I am mistaken,
If Boro step it up a shade, the hosts are still there to be taken.

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No changes are announced as the tussle now restarts,
How long will we be waiting, for a lift for Boro hearts?
Then we saw, quite early on, the game’s best move to date,
And I thought for one brief moment we’d see the hosts capitulate.

Boro took full advantage of a speedy, crafty throw,
With Bolo then in lots of space and quickly in full flow,
Jimmy then picked out Viduka, his assistance to enlist,
But a glorious opportunity was then unfortunately missed.

Soon the Boro fans are jubilant and with very good reason, cos,
The Fulham net’s sent bulging by the Boro's own Wizard from Oz,
He converts a ball from JFH on his very own Boro debut,
Now lets go on from here, lads, and really turn the screw.

Zenden passed to Mendi, who sent a great ball through to Floyd,
Who laid it for Viduka and left the Boro fans overjoyed,
It was very well manufactured but in the end a simple task,
But he managed to make it count and what more can anyone ask?

Another Fulham high ball’s launched towards the Boro net,
Seeking once more Andy Cole; the Boro’s greatest threat,
Terrific Parlour, quick and strong and running at full pelt,
Took the ball from off Cole’s toe, saw danger and then dealt.

Job is on for Viduka, who is perhaps not yet match fit,
Though I feel he’ll very quickly be a Boro favourite,
Then things opened up for Zenden, who went through and had a crack,
But it sadly flew well wide instead of nestling in the sack.

From a position of real dominance Boro now needed to defend,
After poor play from Mendieta that I cannot comprehend,
With five red shirts awaiting any decent sort of cross,
Mendi made a hash of it and that didn’t please the boss.

A Fulham equaliser really came so very close,
Radzinski fired one through a crowd with Schwarzer standing comatose,
This very near miss had the Boro fans all distraught,
Then Fulham took off Bouba Diop and brought on Boa Morte.

It’s now Boro’s turn to make a change and bring on Szilard Nemeth,
In place of Mendieta who is apparently out of breath,
Though perhaps for Steve McClaren there’s a very different reason,
As Nemeth scored in both games against Fulham FC last season.

Job played a wonderful drag-back, as Szilard Nemeth sought to press,
Fulham were oh so lucky with Boro finally merciless,
With one thing on his mind we saw the Slovakian hassle and harry,
JFH then let one fly, which Van der Sar did well to parry.

Nemeth’s start was greater than most of us had ever reckoned,
For, within about a minute, he had scored the Boro’s second,
With Fulham fans disconsolate at the lesson they’re receiving,
They’re heading for the exits; they on their way: they’re really leaving.

They’re not just disappointed, they are clearly annoyed,
For Schwarzer in the Boro goal had been totally unemployed,
We lost Boateng at the very end and let’s hope he’s soon all right,
But we triumphed at The Cottage so, all-in-all, a very good night.