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How many times
have I said before,
Enough is enough, I will go no more.
But wait, the
advance publicity said,
Do not by previous years be misled.
This year
will be better, wait and see,
With something for all the family.
So off
we trot, or is it canter,
To enjoy ourselves in carefree banter.
First the car park, easily found,
Only half a mile from the ground.
And if you have not got a coloured pass,
It's one pound to rent twelve
feet of grass.
When to the gate you finally creep,
The sign above
proclaims dig deep.
It is two pounds to enter this hallowed ground,
And
this, on top of the parking pound.
Then in you go, anticipating,
The joys and sights that are awaiting.
Before you've reached the second
fence,
You've bought a programme, eighty pence.
Now you know just
what's in store,
Is this the programme from the year before?
It looks
the same inside the cover,
Showjumping, dog show, best bullock and mother.
Around the ground to see the rest,
A quick tour first to find the
best.
Two hundred smiling salesmen cry,
"Our double glazing is the best
to buy".
So around again, watching cattle grazing,
Dodging the cow
dung, and more double glazing.
Perhaps next year will come to pass,
The
introduction of a special class.
A class for salesmen to find the best,
To be led round the field, suits neatly pressed.
Wouldn't it be lovely
to give them abuse,
Keep them parading, as they enthuse.
About their
wares that no one buys,
Whilst telling us a pack of lies.
Wait a
minute, there's a tent selling beer,
Perhaps I might come back next
year.
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