Update: The “ordinary family” my son spoke about a few years ago is no more.

My wife decided April 2005 that the best way to end our marriage it was to have an “innappropriate relationship” then register with several internet dating sites. On these sites she disclosed, amongst other things, her sexual preferences and stated she was “single and lived alone with her children” and also “marriage was very important”. I can understand why affairs/inappropriate relationships happen, but to go on dating sites to plan these affairs is totally un-acceptable.

I was shocked about this because I honestly thought our 19 year marriage was a strong as one could expect. Things had actually got better for the last 2 or 3 years (after she took anti-depressents due to work stress). My wife even suggested with re-new our vows during our planned holiday of a lifetime in USA (which was subsequently cancelled at great cost). Even her mother commented the year before how please she was that her daughter was in a happy and stable relationship.  

This only touches on the “living hell” she has put me through  for the last 12 months. What she has done in the last 12 months is not the Susan I loved for the previous 19+ years. She even justifies what she did. Why do I think she did it?. Well, she has a mid-life crisis, liked the thrill of men giving her extra attention (who would not?), saw the grass was greener but I found out before she came back to planet earth.

Anyway, she has now met a man from these sites. Having known him for less than 3 months she set up home with him. I dare say he can give her things I did not after 19 years of marriage and bringing up two wonderful children, but who can?. What she will never have is the trust and loyalty we took “as read” during our marriage. How can anyone trust a woman who did what she did. Will she do the same when she gets bored with him?. Given she says our perceived happyness was not true, who will even know when she is happy or not.

Am I bitter? Well although ashamed to admit it; I am. Why shouldn’t I be.........I have lost everything I thought I had for the rest of my life except my two brilliant children. Have I acted badly on occations? Yes I have, but I would expect any man with emotions and feelings to have acted the same way.