FILES: ANSWER MACHINE MESSAGES
Kirkoff Case - Jim, It's
Norma at the market. It bounced. You want us to tear it up, send
it back, or put it with the others?
Dark And Bloody Ground - Hey Jim, this is Louie down
at the fish market. You going to pick up these halibut or what?
Countess - Hey Rockford, very funny. I ain't laughing.
You're gonna' get yours.
Prentiss Carr - It's Morrie. Got a call from Davis
at the IRS. You were right. They bounced your return. Call me.
Woman In Red Wagon - Jim, it's Jack. I'm at the airport.
I'm going to Tokyo and I want to pay you the $500 I owe you. Catch
you next year when I get back.
Case Is Closed - Really want Shimbu in the seventh?
C'mon, that nag couldn't go a mile in the back of a pickup truck.
Big Ripoff - It's Aundra. Remember last summer at Pat's?
I've got a twelve hour layover before I go to Chicago. How about
Me If You Can - This is the blood bank. If you don't
have malaria, hepatitis, or TB, we'd like to have a pint of your
Pursuit Of Carol Thorne - This is the message phone
company. I see you're using our unit, now how about paying for
Dexter Crisis - I staked out that guy only it didn't
work out like you said. Please call me. Room 234, County Hospital.x
It's Worth A Fortune - It's John Jones. What did you
do the hand, son? Three fractured knuckles! You hit somebody?
And Loss Part One: Profit - Hey Jimmy, this here's
Tida Skaret. Remember me? From the army. I'm stuck here in town.
How about I come over and bunk with you, buddy?
And Loss Part Two: Loss - This is Mrs. Mosely at the
library. We billed you for your overdue book "Karate Made
Easy." We abuse our libary, we don't get our cards renewed.
Lee, Farewell - Mr. Rockford? You don't know me, but
I'd like to hire you. Could you call me at...my name is, uh, never
mind. Forget it.
Of Hand - Rockford, this is Mr. Dow. If you think I'm
going to pay to have your car repainted, you're nuts. You can
take your expense bill and stuff it.
Gambit - It's Laurie at the trailer park. A space opened
up. Do you want me to save it or are the cops going to let you
stay where you are?
- Mr. Rockford? This is the Thomas Crown School of Dance and Contemporary
Etiquette. We aren't going to call again. Now, you want these
free lessons, or what?
Goodbye To Jennifer - This is Mrs. Lindis. Three times
this month I come to clean and it always looks like people been
fighting in there. Furniture broke, things tipped over. I'm sorry,
but I quit.
Harris At Large - Hey, Jim, it's me. Susan Ellis from
the laundromat. You said you were going to call and it's been
two weeks. What's wrong, you lose my number?
Four Pound Brick - This is Shirley from the bank. The
answers are: no, no and yes. No, we won't loan you money. No,
we won't accept any co-signers; and yes, your account's overdrawn.
I get off at 4:30.
By Accident - This is Thelma Sue Bigsly. It's about
the research I called you about, family tree. Did you talk to
your daddy? We may be kin.
- This is Marilyn Reed, I want to talk to you...is this a machine?
I don't talk to machines.
The Aaron Ironwood School Of Success
- Hi, Jim. We couldn't reach you, so we went ahead with the job
and I know you're really going to dig it. But if you don't I suppose
we can always tear it out.
Farnsworth Strategem - Rockford, this is Tony. Now,
your car's ready. Couldn't reach you, so I went ahead and put
in the new pistons. The tab's $527.54. And this time we're talking
Part One - Jimmy, it's Angel. Don't pay no attention
to my other message. You're out of it. You're clean, no trouble
at all. Just ignore the first message.
Part Two - Okay, pal, it's Harry. I just checked my
car. You kept the battery charged all right, you also put 3500
miles on it.
Deep Blue Sleep - Hi, Jim. Thanks for the dinner invitation.
I'd love to, but does it have to be the taco stand?
Great Blue Lake Land And Development Company - Hello-Jim-Rockford's-machine.
Thank-you. Thank-you. Thank-you.
Real Easy Red Dog - Jim? It's Shirley at the cleaners.
You know that brown jacket, the one I said looked so great on
you? Your favorite. We lost it.
In Black And White - Hiya, Jimmy, it's Cousin Lou.
Going to be in town a coupla days. Know you won't mind putting
us up. It's just me and Aunt Sissy and B.J. and the kids and little
Little Is A Little Chicken - Jim, it's Beth. You have
the vet's number, the flea collar and extra litter. One thing
I forgot, keep him away from other cats. He's not very discriminating.
Into 5.56 Won't Go - Jim, it's Maria over at the laundromat.
There's a yellow dress in with your things. Is that a mistake,
or special handling, or what?
Prime Pick - Hey, Jimbo, Dennis. Really appreciate
the help on the income tax. Wanna help on the audit now?
Reincarnation Of Angie - Hi, Jim, it's Jamie at the
police impound. They picked up your car again. Lately, they've
been driving it more than you have.
Girl In The Bay City Boys Club - Hi, sonny, it's Rocky.
I got the bill and I've been trying to figure what everybody owes
on L.J.'s birthday party. Tell me, did you have the Pink Lady?
Hammer Of C Block - It's Jack. The check is in the
mail. Sorry it's two years late. Sorry I misfigured my checking
account and I'm overdrawn. Sorry I stopped payment on it. So,
when it comes, tear it up. Sorry.
No-Cut Contract - Horas fantasticos. La unique opportunidad
en su vida la frescia rosaria llantas realiades. Call toll free
- cinco-cinco-cinco, tres-uno-dos-uno.
Portrait Of Elizabeth - Jim, it's Harry. We've been
waitin' on you for two hours at the Forbes'. Where's the forks?
Lasagna ain't no finger-food.
Blue Eyes - Sorry, Jim, this is for Rocky. Hey, Rock...Stan.
Top that redhead and her sister, 10:30, Stacy's Grill. **chuckle**
Hazard - Mr. Rockford, Miss Miller of the Bartlet Book
Club. "Great Detectives Of America" is not in stock,
so we sent you "Cooking Made Easy." Hope you enjoy it.
Italian Bird Fiasco - Jim? Sally. Hey, I just found
out you were an Aries. Listen, if you have Virgo rising, give
me a call.
Houston - Jim? Madame Arcala at the Zodiac Resturant.
You don't pay that dinner tab, we're gonna repo your birthday.
On The First Play - Jim, it's Eddie. You were right
about Sweet Talk in the seventh. He breezed in, paid $72.50. But
I didn't get your bet down.
Bad Deal In The Valley - Uncle Jim? It's Ralph. I got
your letter, but I moved out here anyway. I really want those
The Fourth Man - Hi, just
want to put your mind at rest. Found your address book in the
theater last week. It's in the mail. By the way, Carol's okay,
Oracle Wore A Cashmere Shirt - Teddy's Tree House.
You've won our free landscaping services for one full year. We'll
mow your lawn, top your trees, mulch, seed, fertilize and feed.
Isn't that wonderful?
Family Hour - Hey, Jim, it's Frank. Me and Ellie's
down here for our convention. Can't wait to see you. Should be
over at your place about 1 AM. Banzai, buddy.
Frenzy - Hi, this is the Happy Pet Clinic. Your father
gave us this number when he left town. The calico stray had six
kitten. Please come get them. Today!
At Indianhead River - Jim, thanks for taking little
Billy fishing, he had a great time. Turns out he wasn't even really
seasick. Um, have you ever had chicken pox?
City Wildcat - It's Shirley at the Plant and Pot. There's
just no easy way to tell you this, Jim. We did everything we could.
Your fern died.
Help Me God - Dr. Souter's office. This is the third
time you've cancelled. Now, you have to have that root canal.
A sore foot has nothing to do with your mouth.
Class Of '63 - Gene's 24 Hour Emergency Plumbing. Your
water heater's blown? We'll have somebody out there Tuesday. Thursday
at the latest.
To The 38th Parallel - Tompkins at Guarranteed Insurance.
About your burglary claim. Paid your loss all right. Funny you
remembered to file, but you didn't remember to pay your premium.
Work - This is Dr. Souter's office again, reguarding
that root canal. This doctor is in his office...waiting. He's
beginning to dislike you.
Trouble With Warren - Jimmy, it's Phil in Puerto Rico.
This is real important. Talked to Mr.[line noise], he'll pay $20,000.
Call him at [line noise].
One In Every Port - Bummer! I call up with some good
vibes and some positive energies, and I talk to a robot? Forget
And Stones May Break Your Bones, But Waterbury Will Bury You
- This is the Department Of The Army. Our records show that you
are the "Rockford, James" who failed to turn in his
service automatic in May 1953. Contact us at once.
Trees, The Bees And T.T. Flowers Part One - Jimmy,
old buddy, buddy. It's Angel! You know how they allow you one
phone call? Well, this is it.
Trees, The Bees And T.T. Flowers Part Two - Hello?
Hello? Hello? Hello?
Becker Connection - Hi, um, I'm confused. Is this Dial-A-Prayer?
Well, should I call back when the reverend's in the office, or
Another Polish Wedding - George Devon, Malibu Space
Watch. Had three sightings last week. You see anything unusual?
Television reception interrupted? Call 555-1313
Life, Old Dragons - It's Pete. Hope you enjoyed using
the cabin last week. Only next time leave the trout in the refridgerator,
huh? Not in the cupboard.
Protect And Serve Part One - This is Dusty, your father's
friend. So you helped me move, that's it? You couldn't call? See
if maybe I don't like the new place? See if maybe there's some
painting to be done?
Protect And Serve Part Two - This is incredible. Do
you know that last night I had one of my dreams. I dreamed that
if I called you, you wouldn't be home. And you're not.
Back - The is Doctor Souter. My nurse tells me you've
blown four root canal appointments. Well, you're finished in this
Money, Black Light - This is Toby. I forgot what I
was calling for. Your recording is so boring. Spike it with some
humor, some personality. Something.
Beamer's Last Case - [loud
traffic noise in background] Jimmy, this is Angel. Listen, I've
got this new pad right over by the Hollywood Freeway and some
friends are coming. Borrow you record player?
In Chapter 17 - [Noises from large dog in background]
Jim, this is Donna. Boy, we've really been swamped today. No,
sit. We should closing in about...sit. I'll meet you at...oh,
Battle Of Canoga Park - It's Betty from up the street.
I'm calling all the neighbors because Spotty is loose. If you
see him, call me. Oh, don't wear musk cologne. Leopards have a
thing about that.
- This is Lowell Publications. Our records show you did not return
your free volume of the Encyclopedia Of Weather. So, we'll be
sending you the remaining twenty-nine volumes. You'll be billed
Dog And Pony Show - Jimmy, Lou. You owe me five bucks.
Manaraso's average in the '68 Series was .310 not .315. Oh...and...ah...Fran
and I are getting divorced.
For A Funny Box - Mr. Rockford, Sue Ellen. Our class
is having that crazy scavenger hunt I told you about. If you're
wondering what happened to your trailer door, it's going to win
me first prize.
Nirvana - Hey, I saw your ad in the classified. Three
African goats for sale. I keep calling and all I get is a machine.
Is that a typo in the paper, or what?
The Explainer - So you put your machine on at night,
huh? Just because I call you at 3 A.M.? You know how bad my insomnia
is. Thanks a lot Jim.
Mayor's Committee From Deer Lick Falls - Jim? This
is Manny down at Ralph's Bar. Some guy named Angel Martin just
ran up a fifty buck bar tab. Now he wants to charge it to you.
You gonna pay it?
Of Fear - Hey, am I too late for those African goats?
Haven't got the whole three hundred cash, but, like I've got a
whole lot of homemade cheese. Maybe we could work something out.
Retirement - *Beep* Hi, there. If you are interested
in selling your product by a computerized telephone sales *beep*
stay on the line and one of our representatives will speak with
Queen Of Peru - Jim, it's Grace, at the bank. I checked
your Christmas Club account. You don't have $500. You have $50.
Sorry, computer foul up.
Deadly Maze - Hey, Jimmy, I tried to catch you before
you left. Hey, buddy, I was wrong. That rally in Mexico, it was
Attractive Nuisance - Jimmy Scott? This is Aunt Bea
from Tulsa. Cousin Randy just graduated high school and wants
to be a movie producer. Now you live out in Hollywood, you just
Gang At Don's Drive-In - Jim, I have finally finished
twelve long years of pyschotherapy and I'm now able to tell you
just what I think of you. Would you please call me?
Paper Palace - This is Mrs. Owens with the Association
For A Better Malibu. Thanks for your contributions. We've made
great strides, but it would help dear, if you could move your
In A Helium Hat - Here's the tally, Jimbo. You had
Atlanta at even money, tough break. And you got bombed in the
Duke-Wake Forrest fiasco. And you split the quadelle at Holly
Park. So you in the book for $450. Anytime before Friday, huh,
By Southeast - Bill Skelly with ICO. I'd like to interest
you in some new private detection equipment, including the 44OA
telephone bug. We'll demonstrate it in a friends home for one
full week at no charge.
Competitive Edge - Okay, Jimbo, Dennis. I know you're
in there. And I know you know it's ticket season again. Policeman's
Ball and all that. So come to the door when I knock this time.
I know you're in there.
Prisoner Of Rosemont Hall - That number four you just
picked up from Angelo's Pizza? Some scouring powder fell in there.
Don't eat it. Hey, I hope you try your phone machine before dinner.
House On Willis Avenue Part I - Good morning, this
is the telephone company. Due to repairs we're giving you advance
notice that your service will be cut off indefinitely at 10 o'clock.
That's two minutes from now.
House On Willis Avenue Part II - Sonny, this is Dad.
Nevermind giving that talk on your occupation to the Grey Power
Club. Hap Dudley's son is a doctor and everybody'd sorta...well,
rather hear from him, but thanks.
Heartaches Of A Fool - Say,
I'm the one who hit your car at Fork City. I've got no insurance,
I'm broke. But, I really wanted you to know how sorry I am. If
it makes you feel any better I hurt my arm.
And Gilda Stern Are Dead - Hello? You the guy who lost
his wallet in the Park Theater? Well, I'm kinda like into leather.
So, I'll be returning the money, but I'm going to keep the wallet.
Jersey Bounce - Jimmy, Angel. Here's a tip, the handwriting's
Third Son in the fifth race at Bel Meadows. Wait, could be Fifth
Son in the
third. Wait, this might be next week's race.
On White And Nearly Perfect - Pacific view lots. Perpetual
by people who care. At an unbelievably low price. Call Montief
the full service mortuary. We won't rest easy, until you rest
The Messenger - Jim, Chet, returning your call. Sorry
I missed you, but I appreciate you calling back. And if you call
again and I'm not in, just leave your message and I'll get back
Empty Frame - Jim, directions to the party. Left on
Sagis you'll see a rock. Left, left again, right, another left,
there's kind of a hill -- keep going you'll probably see a bunch
Day Affair With A Thirty Day Escrow - Rockford? Alice,
Phil's Plumbing. We're still jammed up on a job, so we won't be
able to make your place. Use the bathroom at the restaurant one
Good, Clean Bust With Sequel Rights - Jim, I have to
thank you for talking over my problems with me last Tuesday night.
I love you for it, but can you have lunch tomorrow to talk about
the divorce? I'm real bummed out.
Mirror Part I - Jim, I leave London four o'clock, arrive
L.A. nine. I guess that's London time. Yeah, four to nine is five,
minus twelve flying... no, plus twelve. Ah, but then there's a
Mirror Part II - Rockford, Jake at the Sand Pebble.
Sorry old buddy, but there have been gunshots around your place
once too often. The neighborhood association wants to have a talk
Fast Count - Jim, you give Peg the two hundred for
the painting. She owes me seventy and I owe you forty-six for
the Christmas trees. Harry's still out sixty for the dinner, but
at least it'll void that check.
Man Eaten By Newspaper - Sonny, this message ain't
for you, it's for me. I just want to remind myself to pick up
the big ladder at the Paint Barn.
The French Heel Back, Can The Nehru Jacket Be Far Behind?
- Jim, Coop. I'm at the address you wrote down for the poker game
tonight. This is a gas station, it's closed, there's no one around
and now my car is stalled. Now, you got to call me at 4-6-6-3-*click*.
Battle-Ax And The Exploding Cigar - Miss Hollroy, City
Federal. Your lost check still hasn't arrived. It's impossible
for us to lose checks, so unless we receive full payment by noon
today we'll foreclose.
- Jimmy, Angel. Listen, Eddie Talliferro just gave me a hot tip
on a class filly in the eighth out at Holly Park. Only trouble
is I need twenty.
Duece - Mr. Rockford, Arthur's Hi-Fi. Your stereo is
ready, but since your warranty expired in the two months it was
in our shop, you'll have to pay the $60 on the repair.
Man Who Saw The Alligators - Mr. Rockford, you know
what to do if you are attacked and killed? Ask for Albert Kimcee
at grand opening of Happy Dawn School of Secret Arts. Win free
Of The Black Shadow - Jim, this is Florence Boyle,
you worked for my husband last month in Glendale. You were so
helpful then, and, well I have a problem of my own I'd like to
discuss. Confidentially, of course.
Material Difference - Jim, Joel Myers at Crowell, Finch
and Merriwether. We're going to court tomorrow with that Penrose
fraud case, but steno misplaced your 200 page deposition. Could
you come down tonight and give it again?
Send A Boy King To Do A Man's Job Part One - Mr. Rockford,
Miss Collins from the Bureau of Licenses. We got your renewal
before the extended deadline, but not your check. I'm sorry, but
at midnight you're no longer licensed as an investigator.
Send A Boy King To Do A Man's Job Part Two - Jim, Denny
from Denny's Pest Blasters. Got a great deal for ya. We'll rub
out your rodents at a tremendously low cost. So call us, we're
in the Yellow Pages and we mean business.
Different Drummer - Jim, this is Andrea at Todd's Food
Mart. Listen, there's a guy down here by the name of Angel Martin
whose charge $110 worth of groceries to your account. Is that
okay with you?
Paradise Cove - Jim, this
is Cal of the Leave The Whales Alone Club. Our protest cruise
leaves from the pier Saturday at 3 AM. The whales need you, Jim.
Tigers, Monkeys And Dogs Part I - This is Betty Frenell.
I don't know who to call, but I can't reach my Food-Aholics partner.
I'm a Vito's on my second pizza with sausage and mushroom. Jim,
come and get me.
Tigers, Monkeys And Dogs Part II - Jim, this is Janelle.
I'm flying tonight so I can't make our date. But I've got to find
a safe place for Daffy. He loves you, Jim. It's only two days
and you'll see, Great Danes are no problem.
Rock 'N' Roll Will Never Die Part One - (sung) We're
down at Hennesy's Bar, Jim, having a drink or two. You better
get down here quick, Jim, or we'll probably take up your stool!
Rock 'N' Roll Will Never Die Part Two - Jimmy, this
is Dora. I'm gonna move in with the kids, but I'll sure miss you,
dear. Thank you for taking out the garbage every week. I'll send
you a card for your birthday.
Is The Word - This is Maria at Liberty Bail Bonds.
Your client Todd Lehman skipped and his bail is forfeit. That's
the pink slip on your '79 Firebird, I believe. Sorry, Jim, bring
it on over.
Guys Finish Dead - Jim, Dwight. I put a new outlet
in the kitchen. I lay in the cable and the box. Then I pull the
breaker just like you said. And both of my tv sets start burning.
What should I do now?
Hawaiian Headache - Billings, LAPD. You know Thursday
is Chapman's twentieth year and we're giving a ltttle surprise
party at the captain's. I think you should come. By the way, we
need $5 for the present.
Fault Affair - Oh, I thought this was Dial-A-Joke.
I'm going to a party and I need some icebreakers. But, uh, I guess
Big Cheese - This is The Baron. Angel Martin tells
me you buy information. Okay, meet me at 1 A.M. behind the bus
depot, bring $500, and come alone. I'm serious.
A Coupla Guys - Mr. Rockford, this is Betty-Jo Withers.
I got four shirts of yours from the Bo Peep Cleaners by mistake.
I don't know why they gave me men's shirts, but they're going
In Parma - Because of where you live says so much about
you, your home has been selected by Royal Imperial Roofing and
Siding as our neighborhood showcase. A bonded representative will
call on you.
The Rockford Files (a.k.a. Backlash Of
The Hunter) - Billings, L.A.P.D. You know, Thursday
is Chapman's 20th year, and we're giving a little surprise party
at the Captain's. I think you should come. By the way, we need
five bucks for the present.
Still Love L.A. - Jim, it's Benny. I know your sewer's
backed up, but I can't get out there today. Maybe your buyers
Blessing In Disguise - Jim, it's Paul. Hey, I've been
waiting two months for that invitation, buddy. Are you gonna get
that new sportschannel before the Rams leave L.A.?