I work at a 'fast food' chain and this lady pulled up to the Drive-Thru speaker to place her order. I greeted her by saying "Hi, may I have your order please?" She continued with her order and I repeated it back to her, along with the total value. After I had finished the lady asked me innocently "Where do I go now?" So I had to explain to her that she needed to pull up and turn left and go to the first payment window. 

We have a list of 'Combos' that include a burger, fries and a choice of soft drinks. They are labelled Combo#1, Combo#2…. through to Combo#10. On another occasion a customer pulled up to the Drive-Thru speaker and asked me what the difference was between 8 and 10. At first I wasn't sure what she meant so I said "2"! The entire crew in the kitchen busted up laughing. You had to be there to experience the full affect.

Kev,

United States

A colleague of mine recently had to attend a funeral of a family friend. On the night before the funeral they all went out for a few beers in remembrance of the departed, as you do. The following day everyone got themselves ready for the funeral, with slightly sore heads and weak bodies. About 20 minutes before leaving the house my colleague was overcome by the need for one of those 'Morning after' shits. Going into the downstairs loo he proceeded to download the results of the previous evening. Having done that he finished the paperwork and flushed the loo. Unknown to him the waste pipe had come adrift and he got his fine effort back, all over him!! 
His only saving grace was that he hadn’t yet put his suit on!!

Chris,
Warwickshire, England

  I heard recently on the radio that if we don't want to say a certain word our brain will react in the way that we end up saying it. A fact I learnt too late.
I used to be a market research interviewer until my last slipped disc meant I couldn't walk too far or stand for very long. 
Anyway one interview I am sitting in a lady's house and read out the question which contained the word 'organism'. 
"You'll have to be careful with that one." she laughed. 
Poor innocent me hadn't made the connection, but now I did. Every interview - male and female - I did after that the question was misread as '----- orgasm'!

Blythburgh
PointsVine