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Scene: Hell. Man's society has accelerated into humanism. No one needs god anymore. The whole world has sunk into the pit. A group of ten men is discussing their supposedly common fate.

Don: "Man, I can't wait to get out of here!"
Fred: "What do you mean get out? We're here forever!"
Don: "Maybe you are, but I've only got five more minutes to go."
Tim: "Yeah, dude, I'm getting out in two minutes. I've had enough!"
Fred: "What! The man said I have no hope of ever getting out! How do you guys rate?"
Tim: "Dude! Bummer!"

Archangel opens a door. He motions to Tim, who gets up and exits.

Don: "See what I mean? I'm next I bet. Man, it's hot in here!"
Fred: "That's not fair!"
Don: "Yeah, it doesn't really seem fair."

Archangel opens a door. He motions to Don, who gets up and exits.

Allen: "I really feel for you, guy. You must have really ticked off the big guy."
Fred: "I was no worse than the rest of you!"
Ned: "I can relate. I'm not sure I'm getting out, either."
Fred: "So what did you do to get here?"
Ned: "I'm not sure. I just woke up here one day. I guess I died in my sleep."
Allen: "Yeah, me too. What time is it?"
Fred: "What difference does time make? We, I mean I, are here forever!"
Allen: "It makes a lot of difference! The big guy said I can get out once I learn my lesson. I wonder when the lessons begin."
Fred: "What lesson? I know all I need to know."
Allen: "See what I mean? Your heart is hard. You'll never change."
Fred: "Ah, lay off that religious crap. Just get me out!"

Archangel opens the door. Man one and Man two get up, and exit.

Fred: "What! Why did they just get out?"
Allen: "I dunno. This place is a mystery to me for sure."
Ajax: "They took the risk, I guess."
Fred: "What risk?"
Ajax: "The risk to try something new, to change, I guess."
Fred: "Don't give me that religious crap. All I asked was a simple question."
Allen: "See what I mean? Your heart sure is hard."
Fred: "Hey, lay off me man, or I'll knock you one."
Allen: "Yeah, you're where you belong!"
Fred takes a swing at Allen, who ducks and avoids the blow.
Tom: "Hey! Lay off that stuff! You're making us look bad! You want to attract attention?"
Fred: "I'll give you one too!"

Fred swings at Tom, who ducks and avoids the blow. Archangel opens the opposite door, and takes Fred out.

Allen: "Where's he going?"
Ajax: "Deeper into Hell. He'll never get out."
Allen: "How do you know?"
Ajax: "I'm a demon. I was sent to watch over you guys."
Tom: "Oh, wow! Anyone else here a demon?"
Nick: "Not me!"
Seth: "Me either!"
Allen: "Now what? Trapped in Hell with a demon!"
Tom: "What do you mean trapped? You said you just have a lesson to learn."
Allen: "I guess you're right! They said I just have to learn my lesson."
Ajax: "You'll never learn anything! You'll rot here forever! Forever in Hell!"
Seth: "Don't listen to him! Allen, you'll do okay."
Nick: "This place is already getting to me! Now I wish I never did that to that little girl!"
Seth: "What little girl?"
Nick: "How did you know about that?"
Seth: "You just said so!"
Nick: "Said what? Hey look, mind your own business!"
Allen: "Now I see what you mean! This is just a world of pure hate!"

Archangel opens the door out of hell. Allen gets up and exits.

Ajax: (screams) "The rest of you have to stay! Stay!!"
Nick: "I'm not staying anywhere! I'll kill all of you!"

Nick lunges at Ajax. Seth holds him back.

Tom: "Allen was right! This is a place of all hate and no hope!"

Archangel opens the door out of Hell. Tom exits in happy disbelief.

Seth: "Man, I wish I could get out too!"
Archangel opens the door. Seth also happily exits.
Nick: (looking at Ajax) "I guess it's just you and me!"
Ajax: "Yep. Who sent you?"
Nick: "Beelzebub himself."
Ajax: "Man, I guess you outrank me!"
Nick: "Yep. So get to it!"

Ajax begins to wash Nick's feet.

Nick: "Do a better job!"
Ajax: "Go to Hell!"
Nick: "Gladly."

THE END

© Dave Faust 2005