In the dock sits an elderly coconut,
charged with murder in the first degree,
said to have split open a sleeping man
by falling twenty feet from its shady tree.

The prosecution alleges premeditation,
too big a coincidence in time and space
for the coconut to fall at the very moment
the unfortunate victim lay in that place.

Witnesses are called to testify
they saw, in broad daylight atop the tree,
the coconut hanging around ready to fly,
loitering there most suspiciously.

The coconut's brief argues self-defence:
“the man was guilty of provocation,
throwing stones to dislodge my client,
surely enough to try any nut's patience.”

But the prosecution was having none of this
“men have a right to a coconut shy;
the nut retaliated using unreasonable force
and that’s the reason this man did die.”

Character witnesses many are called
sworn to the whole truth and nothing but;
family previous is recited at length,
the defendant from a line of villainous nuts.

Finally the defence made its summing up
citing various, mitigating,circumstance:
Newton’s laws, acts of God,
advanced statistics and the laws of chance.

“Anything to say in your own defence?”,
asked the judge of the coconut,wearing a frown.
“Simply to declare my innocence,sir
For what grows up surely must come down.”

© Stephen Martin 2006