-oO0Oo- She was wearing an all too practical suit. The fitted skirt accentuated the shape of her legs, drawing the eye up to where the the suit jacket done tight up to her neck against the cold failed to hide the slim but well proportioned shape of her torso. Her hair had blown accross her face and she reached up to hook it back with one thin finger. She looked slightly up at me and as before dipped her eyes briefly before appologising. I had been hurrying accross the carpark, ill dressed for the weather and trying to hold my light coat closed against the sting of icy specks of rain. I hadn't seen her and as I had scurried for the protection to the reception doorway I had nearly bowled her over. I reached and caught her arm, steadying her and muttering an apology before I realised who it was I had run down. As she cleard the wayward hair I looked agine into those attractive brown eyes. Her face betrayed a smile though her mouth stubornly still refused to play along. I let go of her arm and wondered what to do with my hand, I felt large, misshapen, clumsy next to her elegance. I wanted to talk to her, I was convinced she had something to do with Junpei. It was too much of a coincidence that she should be here and not be connected to that young man still presumably unconscious in the bed in Intensive Care. When I thought about it though I was making a massive leap. I didn't feel Fort William was particularly multicultural, I hadn't seen a single black person anywhere or indeed anyone that didn't look pasty, short and local. I supposed it would be diferent in the summer once the turists hit the place but this early in the year there only seemed to be locals. I felt debilitated by my own political correctness. To assume that any Japanese face was necicarily conected to any other Japanese face I knew of here was to fall into a blunt racisim that I despised in others. Like assuming any one that appeared to be from the Indian subcontinent probably had a corner shop or at the very least strong conections to the retail industry, that any English voice would be an over rich holiday home owner depriving the area of any affordable housing. It might be a statisticaly good bet that there weren'y that many Japanese people in this part of the highlands but it offended my sensibilities to verbalise what I considered to be my predudice. I had no choice though. I looked at her feeling the that the moment was going on way too long. If I wanted to know, to find out before she got away, possibly forever I had to ask. "Are you..do you kn..were you just.." Shit. She cocked her head, trying to hear me over the wind. I tried again. "Can I have a word with you?" I chickened out. "Do I know you?" She asked searching my face, looking for something familiar. "No, I don't think so. I saw you here yesterday but.." "Yes, that was it" She relaxed a little "Is there something I can help you with?" I took a step back, conscious that I probably looked and sounded like some kind of lunatic or sexual preditor. "I wanted to ask if you were anything to do with Hanabusa Junpei?" I mentaly crossed my fingers noticing that my real fingers were nervously twisting together, I put the all behind my back and almost crossed them in actuality. A pained look passed accross her face "Yes." She answered "yes I am here to see him" We were standing outside the hospital, strictly speaking still in the car park, the wind curled loudly round the building and buffeted us where we stood. It was cold and uncomfortable and I didn'y think it was exactly condusive to delicate conversations. I tried to put it as delicatly as possible, I told her that I had been there, at the accident and I would be very gratefull if she would tell me how he was. There was a cafe or resteraunt affair somewhere in the hospital, I knew because I had seen the signs pointing the way. I suggested that we go there and talk. She looked at my face again with her searching look, she must have been comfortable with what she found there because she agreed to come with me. I was astounded and relieved at the diference inside the building. My ears rang with the sudden silence and my limbs groaned in relief at the warmth that started to return. She followed slightly behind and to the right of me, letting me lead her though I was relying on the signs to guide me through the building and I got the distinct impression that she had been here before. The cafe turned out to be more of a canteen, it's institutional roots showed in the blue grey colour scheme and plastic school style chairs. I recalled something about this horrible utilitarian stackable seating being a design classic but I knew from memory that it made no diference to their comfort or complete lack of any. I bought us both a coffee, over the counter in a mug rather than the more usual vending machine and we sat down either side of a long table. Most of the other people in the canteen seemed to be staff, at least they dressed like you would expect hospital staff to dress, white was the colour of choice, I didn't look for blood stains. Why do they wear white in hospitlas? Surely red or better brown would be much more sensible? I procrastinated wildly, not looking at her, trying not to even think about her or Junpei or having to tell her who I was. I could tell she was looking at me though, Still inspecting my face, trying to guess who I was? Perhaps she knew already who I was. Perhaps the staff had told her I was there yesterday, even pointed me out? I compressed the thought inside, holding it down so I could say what I had to. I turned to her and started to tell her who I was. I held back from saying I was to blame. I told her what had happened, described the scene in the softest possible tones. Tried to assure her that the emergency services had been exemplary in their actions, they had responded quickly and effectively, had not left him there, on the ground any longer than you could expect. I had reiterated that in my opinion you couldn't have expected more in Glasgow or any other city. I told her I had been in the car that had hit him but I just couldn't tell her I had been driving. I explained that I had been worried that no one was here for him, no one would take a personal interest. I told her about the hospital not letting me see him, how because I wasn't family, didn't have any clout, wasn't even local that I just couldn't be all I wanted here. I told her that the doctor had told me her brother was coming and said that I realy hoped he would be here soon. I had heard that a familier voice, someone he was used to might help him. She had a funny expresion on her face as I said this. I asked her if she would be staying or did she have to get back to the embassy, or was it a consulate? Was she based in Edinburgh, Glasgow or was it England? There was almost a trace of amusement in her face now. I thought she was from the embassy she asked, I nodded dumly. I was waiting here for Junpei's brother? I nodded again. She didn't laugh but looked down at the table and shook her head. "I am Junpei's brother" she said. Obviously she wasn't Junpei's brother. There had been some confusion with the police localy and information being passed through too many people on it's way here. Origionaly her father had wanted to come, insisted on coming but his doctor had forbiden it. He wasn't well and certainly was not allowed to fly half way round the world to see his son lying unconsious in a hospital bed. He had no other family, just her and her father. She had come, come to see him to take care of him. I was so relieved. I felt like a weight of responsability had been lifted from me, not that anyone had expected me to take resposability for Junpei or even allowed me to but up until this point I had felt totaly responsible, the only person here with any personal interest. She was his sister, she would be able to take care of him. It was selfish of me to assume so, I hadn't thought through what she might be going through, that she might not cope with her brother being criticaly ill in a foreign hospital. She had an impecable Edinbrugh accent and I had to ask. She had grown up here, in Edinbrugh. They both had. Junpei was intent on getting back here and was due to start college in Glasgow this year, he was supposed to be here for a month to scout around and see what accomodation was like, become familiar with the country he had know as a child, see how the west coast differed from the east. He had been excited about driving up here himself, going to the highlands and islands. She didn't cry but her eyes glistend wetly as she talked about his plans that I had put a premature end to. I reasured her, reached forward and touched the back of her hand with my finger tips. Told her that when he was up and about I would personaly escort him round Scotland, show him the sights, find the best pubs, take him to all the castles. In reality I probably knew less about Scotland than he would, perhaps he could show me around. Do you want to see him she asked without warning, fixing me again with those dark eyes. Yes I told her, of course. That was why I had been here. That was the one unlikely thought that had dragged me up here from Andrew's. I wanted to see him, se what I had done, see if he would be alright. I don't know what made me think that I would be able to assess his condition better than the doctors could but I believed I would. I just knew if I could see him I would know what was going to happen next. It wont be today she said, they threw me out and told me to come back tomorrow. Perhaps if you would meet me here. She touched my hand. We could go and sit with him. I agreed to come back tomorrow, early afternoon. We walked out into the carpark, she said her hotel was nearby and I didn't feel it was appropriate to walk her to the door. Now we were outside I started to feel uncomfortable again. I couldn't quite understand what had happened. Why hadn't she been angry with me? I had run down her brother, caused this to happen. Because of me she had been obliged to fly all this way to pick up the pieces of her family. She should have been livid, angry with me, I was to blame. I wanted her to blame me, to rail against me. I didn't expect her to be calm, this calm, to want me to see him, to understand any of it. I didn't expect her. I drove back to Andrew's, I had told him I would only be away one night and I wanted to have a shower and a shave. I had water in the van, if I remembered to fill it up that is, but only cold. The only hot water came from the kettle and it realy wasn't up the task of being a shower. The only way I could invisage of pulling it off was to use the bowl and sponge method, I shivered at the thought. Perhaps I could have found my self a Camper with such niceties but I was pretty sure that meant a massive increase in size. Half the reason I had plumped for this one was it's compact one person neatness. I could carry me and all I realy needed in a vehicle no bigger than a large family car. All I realy needed except hot running water. If I was going to continue this trip I would have to work that one out before I got much further. It was just getting dark when I pulled into the yard, the lights were on in the boathouse and the kitchen window cast a huge square of light down into the yard. Andrew waved down at me from the window as I climbed out and locked the van. I looked around enjoting the still night air. I could smell the spring. It was till cold but it wasn't so bitter out of the wind and the promiss of better weather was being made by the night. I could hear the wavlets lapping the slipway, I loved being this close to the sea. I tried to tell myself not to get too attached, this wasn't realy my home. It was nice to have somewhere friendly to come back to but it would never be mine and it would be foolish to get too comfortable. We started on coffee. Sitting in the upstairs living room next to the massive window as the darkness got thicker and thicker, the blanket of the night pricked with bright stars. I watched them as we talked, some of them moved. Satelites I supose, catching the light as they made their circular journeys. A boat made it's way accross our view, a ferry I think though the scale was decptive, it could have been a rowing boat or a liner, there was no point of reference. I couldn't even work out where it was going, the coast here crinkled and I had never fully worked out which way we were facing, what islands or hills made up the view from the front of the boat house. I dispaired at my lack of knowledge about my own country. My father when he was alive could have told you where you were and what way you were facing just by looking at a picture of two hills together from anywhere up this coast. It wasn't a skill I had inherited much as he had tried to encourage me. I loved it here, this place familiar from family holidays but I had not even the slightest understanding of the place. Perhaps that meant I could discover it all afresh for my self. It would all be new to me even though it was tinged with familiarity. I doubted it though. Sitting here looking out to where the hills had faded into the dark I felt like an alien, I didn't understand the place and I didn't understand the people. Andrew was making a sincere effort to be nice to me, to make me feel at home and I appreciated it. I felt it but I didn't know why he was doing it, why he bothered. When I started telling Andrew about the girl at the hospital and who she realy was he suggested we switch to whiskey. In two cabinates either side of the fire were what looked like an extensive collection od serious malts. There were runs of matching labels with diferent years marked on them, 12 year olds, 18 year olds, some even older. This represented a serious investment in the other national drink of Scotland. No one ever got rich collecting Irn Bru though and I assumed this was Andrew's nest egg, speculation in Scotch was a pretty good bet, as rare bottlings got rarer, well people kept drinking the stuff, the price went up. If you wern't a complete idiot it had allways seemed to me to be an almost ideal way to lay down some growth potential with your capital. He opened the cupboard at the bottom of one of the cabinates though and pulled out one that had been opened. "We'll have some of the good stuff tonight Lachie, *insert some old, expensive but not too ridiculous Scotch here* do you?" I had to admit I knew nothing about it, sounded impressive though and I agreed. He went and got the glasses and I got up and had a look at the bottles on display. He had *another one* all the way through from 74 to 81, He had two bottles of *and again* and some nice looking bottles that claimed to contain *blah blah* in velvet lined boxes. There was something funny about the seal on these though. Looking closely I could see they had been opened. I looked at the others. The liquid inside them was a range of shades from pisswater yellow through to a rich oaky golden brown but every bottle on the shelf had a broken seal. "Ah so you've discovered my little secret then Lachlan?" his voice directly behind me said. "but..." I was at a loss. "there is no point buying a good bottle of whiskey if all your going to do with it is look at the bloody thing" He smiled "Cold tea, every last one of them. There is a bottle of *Yea yea* in the cupboard and this" he waved the opened bottle at me "the rest is purely so I know what I have had, and what I am yet to have." "What about the colours? are they..is that what they looked like?" I asked in amazment. I couldn't contemplate drinking that amount of money. "Well some of them are about right" he poured a hefty mesure each into the glasses "and some of them I can't realy remember, it's an art you see and I'm far from good at it" I laughed. It would be heart breaking to be run over by a bus having spent all that money on *one of the ones mentioned earlier* and not to have tasted it. The I straightened my face. Or to have been hit by a Volkswagon without having even begun to live your life. He saw the look on my face. "C'mon, sit down and have some of this. Their's few better." I sat and took a sip. It was like nothing I had ever tasted before, certainly nothing like the cheap shit I called whiskey. It glowed on my toungue, smooth and clean it slid down the back of my neck without catching. I felt the warmth, tasted the rich golden flavour of the real thing. I liked it, a lot. "So he doesn't have a brother then, she was his sister this woman, what did you say her name was?" he asked. "Samiko, Hanabusa Samiko, Sam" I replied. -oO0Oo-