1 Corinthians 13 A lot is said these days about love. 12th Feb 2006
1. Just before Christmas the Civil Partnerships Bill came into force. In the words of the government: This enables same-sex couples to obtain legal recognition of their relationship. Couples who form a civil partnership will have a new legal status, that of ‘civil partner’. Civil partners will have equal treatment in a wide range of legal matters with married couples.
The government says that Civil Partnership in not the same as marriage. Although the bill mainly consists of amendments and additions to all of the existing legislation concerning marriage. The Bishops of the Church of England say that it is not marriage.
But apart from these two groups, most other people who communicate through the media seem to think it is.. and the example from one daily newspaper… Soldiers wed… is typical of the messages that have been presented to us over the last couple of months.
Despite what the government officially says,
despite what the Bishops of the Church of England say… it seems everyone else is quite happy to talk about same-sex couples “tying the knot”, and “getting married.” Asda are already selling a range of “Mr & Mr” or Mrs & Mrs wedding cards.
In parliament those who opposed this legislation… (mainly in the House of Lords I think) said that the government was setting out to imitate the institution of marriage in this legislation. And I think that most people would agree that this has happened… the word marriage is already applied to these new same sex partnerships.
2. Now I count it a privilege to live in this country, not least because of our respect for freedom and the tolerance of differing points of view. And as a citizen of this country and as a Christian I am required to be obedient to the laws of this country. Unless those laws require me to do something that I know is against God’s clearly revealed will for me.
And so I respect Civil Partnerships for what they are –a man-made institution, designed and created by the government, part of the framework of laws that have been drafted by the governments legal advisers.
But I honour marriage not because it is written on the statute book of the British Parliament - but because it is written here in this book - the bible. For at the very beginning of creation God invented marriage.
God has made it clear that the only appropriate place for the sexual expression of love is when two people, a man and a woman have made a marriage commitment. It doesn’t matter if people are Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Atheist, whatever. Marriage is Marriage. Doesn’t matter what the cultural expression of that marriage commitment is… but that commitment has to be made. Jesus said that’s how God designed us.
Haven’t you read," said Jesus, "that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female’, and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother
(that’s the public declaration of intention to live a new life in the community in partnership with someone else)
and be united to his wife, (that’s the personal commitment of faithfulness to each other, literally means to stick to one another) and the two will become one flesh. (At one level that is a reference to sexual intercourse… at another level it describes the process of growing together in intimacy and trust that is part of the lifelong journey of marriage.)
3. These words are not just a problem for people who want to say that sexual relationships between people of the same sex are OK. They are also a problem for people who want to say that it’s ok for heterosexual couples to enter into a sexual relationship even when they are unwilling to make a public commitment to one another. It has become the norm in our generation for Heterosexual couples to do one thing with their bodies and think another thing with their minds. So People “make love” and with their bodies say “I am wholly committed to you, I trust you completely… ” and yet in their hearts and minds that’s not what they think. A part of them may be thinking “I don’t really trust you with the whole of my being” A part of them is thinking “actually I am afraid that one day you will let me down – just like the others” And people can be hurt and damaged by their sexual relationships, rather than built up and encouraged as God intended through the sexual expression of love in a place of commitment and security.
For a long time most of the messages that we have been receiving in media - are telling us that there is no need to make that commitment of marriage to someone before entering into a sexual relationship. (Just a quick glance most of the films that have fed our imaginations for the last 30 years would tell you that.) It is ironic that now there is talk about the need for commitment… but again our culture has missed the point… So now we are receiving messages that say there is no difference between the commitment of a man and a woman in marriage
and the commitment in a civil partnership of one man to another man or
one woman to another woman.
There is a difference.
Marriage is God’s idea…
Gay Marriage is not.
4. So what should my attitude be towards civil partnerships and towards those who enter into them.
I found that I have to talk about 1 Corinthians 13
there is a clue in the bible reading for today.
Love does not demand its own way.(vs.5)
We have no right to simply shout loudly and impose our beliefs on others. Not even God does that.
We can claim the right to live in freedom,
because that is how all human beings were made to live. God designed us to be free…
free to love him or free to turn away from him.
Free to make good choices. And although it breaks his heart to see it, free even to make bad choices - choices that will hurt us and hurt others.
Freedom - and respect for the freedom of others - is a biblical value… a God given human right that we can claim for ourselves, and that we must allow to others, even those we disagree with.
What we can do is to pray for the courage to clearly declare God’s will as far as we can understand it.
And in a generation where more and more of the people around us believe things that are totally at odds with God’s revealed truth - Christians can earnestly pray for the help of the Holy Spirit to be obedient to the father’s will, just as Jesus was.
Obedience to God’s will is being portrayed in our culture as something that is either foolish and unthinking… a sign of a fundamentalist bigot… or it is portrayed as something dangerous as in the language of our times that speaks of religious fanatics who are driven to commit appalling acts in the name of God.
5. LOVE is not foolish,
love is not unthinking,
love is not bigoted or blind
love does not injure others in the name of a higher principle…
for there is no higher principle than LOVE.
Here is the description of how Love shows itself…
Love is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
Love does not demand its own way.
Love is not irritable,
and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.
It is never glad about injustice
but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
God has given to me… Duncan Leake, very clear instructions about what people who say they are “gay” should encounter when they meet me.
It’s not enough to know all the right answers, as Paul says… I might “know everything about everything” I might be able to quote every bible chapter and verse that says that homosexual or lesbian or bisexual lifestyle is not what God wants for his children.
I might be such a spiritual giant and be able to minister healing and see stupendous miracles… (as Paul says I might have a faith that can move mountains. But, as the bible says - without Love it would be no good to anybody.
So in my conversations with people who choose to follow a gay lifestyle, if when they meet me they don’t meet with LOVE… then I have accomplished nothing.
Love does not mean agreeing that wrong is right…
it does mean seeing the other person as a child made in the image of God, and someone who Jesus died to save. Love does mean that we have to communicate Christian truth in a way that begins to make sense to the people who hear it.
So you won’t find me out on the street shouting and carrying a placard and denouncing the immorality of a couple of men or women who are having a Civil Partnership ceremony at the Guildhall or the Little Barrow Hotel in Lichfield.
Here is the description of how Love shows itself…
Love is patient and kind.
Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
Love does not demand its own way.
Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. 6 It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
6. In case you are wondering… I will not be required to conduct ceremonies for the new civil partnerships and in fact at the moment I am specifically forbidden from doing so by the House of Bishops. (Could mention meeting with Bishop Jonathan in March)
But actually I don’t have a problem in delighting in the love and faithfulness and commitment that can be part of the lives of two people of the same sex.
(Listen carefully to this bit and please don’t misunderstand what I’m saying….)
I mean why should I not give thanks to God for the example of two men who have loved one another, two women who have supported and cared for one another.
No reason at all..
There are examples of this in the Bible… the friendship between David and Jonathan, the faithfulness and commitment of Ruth to Naomi, her mother-in law, the love that Jesus had for John the disciple, such confidence that while on the cross Jesus asked John to look after his mother.
Love is never wrong. Love comes from God. (1 John 4)
The difficulty that we have is that so often we get love and sexual desire all mixed up.
In fact we have got is so mixed up that today in our culture if I were to say that “Albert loves Arthur” we would simply assume that they must be having a sexual relationship.
When Jesus said “This is my commandment ‘love one another’ ” he didn’t mean “have sex with one another” did he? He was speaking of a sacrificial self-giving sort of love that should be seen in the lives of all his followers. One man loving another man, one woman loving another woman.. as Jesus loved us.
Showing the love that St. Paul was describing in this passage. I mean, we might read this chapter at weddings… but it isn’t addressed exclusively to heterosexual couples is it. This way of love that is described… it is for all people. Love one another… says Paul… like this.
7. The problem with the Civil Partnership legislation is that in attempting to copy the institution of marriage it has actually made it harder for people of the same sex who do not engage in sexual activity with one another but who love one another.. with the sort of love that we are commanded as Christians to show in all our relationships.
It is a tragedy for those men and women who have been denied the legal protections and securities that they should have had in the civil partnerships bill. Men and women who have been excluded from entering into civil partnerships because they are related. Or men who live together, or women who live together, but who now cannot in all conscience enter into a civil partnership because the people around then will simply assume they are sexual partners.
8. In this mixed up and muddled situation… we have to walk in the way that God has called us. To show his love in our words and actions towards people whose lifestyle we cannot condone but who we have no right to condemn. Because Jesus didn’t come in to the world to condemn the world.. but to save the world… and we are called to be his body. Like him we must walk in obedience to out father’s will … and like him we must choose to love even who are offended by us, even those who reject us.
May God give us the grace to be his witnesses in our generation.