Afganistan
 
He had always been intrigued by Afghanistan; Afghan hounds, Afghan hats and so on. So when a nice man offered him the chance to go, he packed like lightning.
    It was only stepping off the plane in Kabul, being handed a Kalishnikov, he wished he had read the small print.  
 
Blind Date We met on a blind date. She was supposed to have a rolled-up copy of The Times under her left arm. Instead, she had tightly packed the complete works of James Joyce into a small trolley-case. She pulled it romantically behind us as we walked along the moonlit path. Another Fifty Words Podcast/7FA8CCAF-0B22-4D9B-9227-F42142B42C9A.htmlhttp://www.starwoodhotels.com/promotions/promo_landing.html?category=LM_COFFEECULTURE&EM=VTY_LM_fiftywordsshapeimage_1_link_0shapeimage_1_link_1
Baby “We usually measure babies while doing a handstand,” said the nurse. “You or the baby?” said Petrach, without thinking. The nurse didn’t answer but gripped Psigor by the ankles and took out her tape. “Well?” said Petrach. “I don’t quite understand this,” said the nurse, “but he seems to have shrunk.”
50 Words
Little Man
 
My girlfriend says she has a little man living under the stairs. I’ve never seen him.
    “He goes out a lot,” she says. “Especially at weekends.”
    Once I surprised her at home on a Tuesday night.
    “You’ve no need to be jealous,” she said. “He’s only about six inches tall.”
50 Words
                                                        BBC News
 
My girlfriend has started to watch the BBC News naked. She says it gives her a greater sense of freedom. This may be true, but the mob of teenagers, gathered nightly outside the living-room window, wide-eyed, penises clutched tightly in their right hands are beginning to bug me.
 
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Monkey
 
It all started when I joined an animal rights group and was asked to help that monkey escape from the zoo. Since then it has taken over my life. Last night I found it in my bed wearing my best pyjamas, smoking a cheroot, reading the edited works of Dostoyevski.
 
Proposal
 
My boyfriend keeps coming in to use the toilet while I’m having a shower. This morning he slid across the shower curtain and asked me if I thought we should get married one day. It was difficult to take him seriously with his trousers and underpants bunched around his ankles.
 
Roommate
 
My new roommate is a man who calls himself Bill. He has only two pairs of underpants and eats all his meals with chopsticks.
    On the third night he got into bed next to me naked and put his cold feet on my back. I’m thinking of moving myself now.
 
Sex God
 
Ninny bit the end of the cotton from the waistband and held the underpants up to the sun. She was more than pleased with herself. They were the perfect 50th wedding anniversary gift. She particularly liked the way she had spelt out ‘Sex God’ in silver letters across the crotch.
 
 
 
Walk
 
My brother and I have decided to walk around the world for charity. However, as we reach the end of the high street, he sits on a bench, takes off his shoes and sighs quite loudly.
    “How far have we gone?” he says.
    I check the odometre. “About 400 metres.”
 
50 Words
Yak
 
My girlfriend bought me a yak for Christmas.
    “We can use it’s wool to make clothes,” she said. “And yak’s milk is very good for you.”
    That might be true but I don’t like the way it looks at me through the window as it stands shivering in the garden.