From: Phoenix <eat@at.joes>
Newsgroups: alt.usenet.kooks,alt.fan.karl-malden.nose,alt.slack.sputum,alt.romath,alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk
Subject: HIGHLANDER 5: THE WRANGLING (was Re: What is the purpose of this group?)
Date: Wed, 16 Feb 2000 23:05:02 -0700
Organization: The People's Democratic Republic (read: ULTRA RIGHT/LEFT-WING MILITARY DICTATORSHIP FEATURING UNSHAVEN OFFICERS IN GREEN UNIFORMS WITH THOSE SILLY-LOOKING UPSWEPT POLICE HATS WITH GREAT BIG SCARY EMBLEMS ON THE FRONT, WHO CARRY AUTOMATIC RIFLES AND REALLY, REALLY HATE VISITORS *ESPECIALLY YOU*) of [your nation here]
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In article <88fp3b$nb7$1@valis.databasix.com>, Taylor NetScum <taylor+CAPSOUT@cluestick.org> wrote:

> On Wed, 16 Feb 2000 20:54:08 -0600, "Oxnard Systems, RtS, AKA Richard
> Bullis, KotM, LMA, Admitted Child Pornography Collector & Distributer" took
> a moment out of child pornography collecting to write:
> 
> >Cipher <cipher@lart.com> wrote in message
> >news:88fesv$o2e$1@valis.databasix.com...
> >
> >> In article <38AB302A.73A07B9F@earthlink.net>, Flagship1 of the Paranormal
> >> <paranormalist@earthlink.net> wrote:
> >>
> >> > What is the purpose of this group?
> >>
> >> The identification, spanking and celebration of Usenet Kooks.
> >
> >However, those that do the identifying, spanking and celebrating, can never
> >never never be called a kook.
> 
> That's right.
> 
> >They never get nominated for any kook awards even though they are highly
> >qualified for each one they give out.
> 
> What do you know?  Other than what kiddy porn you will distribute this week.
> 
> >> > Why do you have a newsgroup where people post
> >> > claims that suggest that people are automatically
> >> > kooks?
> >>
> >> Wrong, we let them prove themselves kooks.  By their own words.  A good
> >> kookologist never labels anyone a kook who has demonstrated by their
> >> actions that they are worthy...
> >
> >WRONG!! They are proven to be a kook simply because a certain wrangler, such
> >as cipher, reads one post in another group, then crossposts his resposnse to
> >alt.usenet.kooks.
> 
> Cipher is a wrangler now?

I don't think that's such a Good Idea.


MIRASORVINOMAX PICTURES PRESENTS:

HIGHLANDER 5: THE WRANGLING

Phoenix: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! <hacks Kenny McCormick and rats to shreds>

Stan: OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KEN<hacks Stan apart>

Kyle: YOU BAST<pieces fly everywhere>

Cartman: SWEET!

NARR: Reborn in the Highlands of South Park, Phoenix is Immortal, living for
hundreds of years, ever a Wranger, wrangling billions. But the time has come,
yet again, for the Gathering. A fight to the death among immortals....er.. um, yeah.
One rule stands above all:

Phoenix: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! 

<storms the set of "Teletubbies," kicks kids around, tears mask off of Tinky-Winky
...it's Kehoe! He hacks LoafHead's head off at what approximates a neck>

NARR: Never mind the glaring fsckups of the previous movies! This is the Highlander to end all! 

<Man approaches South Park Saloon counter.> 

Cipher: SIR! I *DEMAND* you put me up as a Vote Wrangler over at Lart.Com!!

Phoenix: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! 

Cipher: Take him to the cutting board, Netscum!!

<Taylor slides him along counter into every glass and pitcher imaginable and the wall socket>

Phoenix: WHAT A RUSH.

Taylor: WHAT A WASTE OF PERFECTLY GOOD GUINNESS.

<Nearby knight statue's ax cuts Phoenix's head off. Something had to be done
to end this crap dialogue.>

NARR: That's right! They're back! They're immortal!
              And Officer Barbrady STILL can't figure it out! 

Barbrady: So.. it's two cheesy poofs? How about 1 cheesy line in this script?
                 What's kind of SH*T are you kids doing here anyway??

Cipher (now 700 feet tall): BEGONE! YOU HAVE NO BIZNESS CALLING
            US KIDS WHEN WE'RE PLAYING WITH KNIVES, MORTAL!!

Barbrady: You are all under arrest!

<Barbrady is dog-piled with South Park Elementary kids. Epileptic video montage follows.>

<Taylor spies something in the distance. They take out frisbee saw blades, grab them, and
start hucking away. Cipher and Taylor scream in horror when giant snow blower mows
saw blades, themselves, and downtown South Park down like rotten weeds>

Sharon B: He told you there could be only one.

HIGHLANDER 5: THE WRANGLING

You'll pay for the whole seat, but you'll keep getting up in the middle to barf in the lobby!

-- 
"I am not a racist or prejudiced person, but certain people bother me." - John Rocker