From: Russell B Newsgroups: alt.fan.karl-malden.nose,alt.flame,alt.snuh,alt.fan.big-funchy,alt.tv.real-world,alt.games.half-life.tfclassic Subject: Re: *********ATTENTION RUSSELL B************ Date: Fri, 13 Oct 2000 10:05:55 -0700 Organization: I'm Just A Stranger, None Stranger Than I Lines: 161 Distribution: TO THE FARTHEST ANTIPODES OF THE GLOBAL USENET Message-ID: <8s7fco$dub$1@astroconsulting.databasix.com> References: <1eich35.1hqrtssrei93wN%exene@wildgift.org> <1eicluo.1a20x9jnw7ydwN%exene@wildgift.org> <8s32r3$avb$1@nnrp1.deja.com> <8s3ajv$5ov$1@blackhelicopter.databasix.com> <39E5389B.E39897C8@NOSPAMPLEACEhotmail.com> <8s3h1j$qm2$1@ljutefisk.databasix.com> <39E56611.D734EE8D@NOSPAMPLEACEhotmail.com> <8s50r7$9lr$1@wilhelp.databasix.com> <39E6C80F.9AC162B6@NOSPAMPLEACEhotmail.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: astroconsulting.databasix.com Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=us-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Summary: It will all end in tears. NNTP-Posting-Guest: Russell B X-Trace: THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE!!! DON'T SAY ANYTHING, JUST TAKE THE KIDS AND GET OUT!!!!!! X-Abuse-Info: You bring it all upon yourself, you really do X-MyDeja-Info: You would be a lot happier with a real newsreader X-Archive: yes X-No-Archive: no X-X-No-Archive-Yes: no X-No-X-No-Archive-Yes: yes X-Possible-Permutations-Of-The-X-No-Archive-Header-Joke: Infinite X-I-Act-Like-This-In-Real-Life-Too: Really, ask anyone X-Lyceum-Of-Isis-Of-The-Stars: Dean, Isiac Institute of Autoerotic Astronomy X-Comment1: Hi, long-time listener, first-time caller. I just want to say that this medium has really gone downhill since they stopped charging by the minute. X-Comment2: I agree with this comment X-Comment3: ME TOO X-Unassailable-Logic: Random noise--it's on-topic in alt.random.noise! X-Hoist-By-His-Own-Petard: "Chazz" X-This-Is-An-Outrage: U.S. drug "czar" and suspected war criminal Barry McCaffrey demands public posting of Olympic drug-testing results. Hypocritical fuckhead. X-Why-Don't-Buddhists-Vacuum-In-Corners: Because they have no attachments X-I-Don't-Get-It: That is because you are *trying* to get it X-Virus-Hoax: Hi! I'm a hoax header virus. Copy me into yours and get some kind of weird gratification from scaring clueless newbies! X-Mad-Sweet-Clown-Of-The-Global-Usenet: Russell B X-NoProductLinks: yes X-NoProductLinks-Deja: yes X-NoProductLinks-Deja-This-Means-You: yes X-NoProductLinks-Deja-This-Means-You-Fuckheads: yes X-Really-Russell-B-You-Mean-It-No-Product-Links-At-All: yes X-But-What-If-It's-Related-To-The-Topic-Of-The-Post: No product links! Understand? X-But-It-Helps-People-Make-Buying-Decisions-And-Isnt-That-What-Usenet-Is-All-About: NO!!! NO FUCKING PRODUCT LINKS YOU FILTHY CORPORATE WHORES!!!!!! X-Newsreader: Forte Agent 1.8/32.548 "Dean Humphries"--and "Dean Humphries" alone--must bear the full responsibility for having written the following: >Russell B wrote: [...] >> Because I'll bet that, like those of your "Snuh" buddies, they would >> fucking suck. > > >I see, the new shtick for this week is the repetitive posting of >*fucking suck*. >It only took a short time of tenure with databasix to rejuvenate your >creative juices-bully for you, Russell B!!!! ******************THIS JUST IN*****************8**** ****"SNUH" LEADER HUMPHRIES IRKED BY REPETITIVE POSTING****** *****HIPCRIME, PORN SPAMMERS "SHOCKED AND SADDENED"****** >> >> If you mean to establish that you are a better writer than your opponent by >> >> producing readers, you would do well to come up with some whose literary >> >> tastes run toward something higher than "snuh-buh-guh-duh," no? >> > >> > >> >No. >> >It's "snuh-buh-guh-huh". >> >That's an important distincion. >> >> "Snuh-buh-guh-huh," eh? Oh, my soul--I stand corrected! I really must >> clean the seme^H^H^H^H COFFEE STAINS off of my monitor more often! >> "Snuh-buh-guh-huh" it is, then! >> >> Either way, it fucking sucks. > >Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! >There it is-again! >This is fun-like counting license plates on those long trips! ********TODAY'S USENET PROFILE************** *****HUMPHRIES REVEALS INSPIRATION FOR "SNUH"****** KATIE COURIC: Hi, I'm Katie Couric. I'm speaking today by satellite with Usenet poster Dean Humphries, the inventor, for lack of a better term, of the "Snuh" variant of "Usenet Performance Art." Dean, tell me a little bit about what inspired you to come up with this "Snuh." DEAN HUMPHRIES: Well, when I was a kid, I used to go on long car rides with my parents. KC: Mm-hmm. DH: Sometimes we would go to Pennsylvania. Sometimes we would go to Disney World. Sometimes we would go to Louisiana. If it was a really hot summer, we would go to Montana. This was all in the car, see. Other times, we would go to Ariz-- KC: Mm-hmm. And on these long car rides you would... DH: Oh. Oh yeah. Yeah, sometimes during the ride, I would get bored in the back seat of the car. So what I would do was count license plates. KC: Ah, yes! "License Plate Scrabble"! DH: License plate what? KC: I assume you're talking about "License Plate Scrabble," right, where you make a word out of the three letters in the license plate? Letters have to be in order, but not in sequence, right? DH: Huh? No, dude. I would count license plates. I just told you that. KC: Ha ha, well I guess not everybody did it the same way my family did it. Was this a sort of math game using the numbers on the plate? DH: No. I would *count license plates.* KC: Just....count them? DH: Yeah, you heard me. Like, say I saw a car go by with a license plate on it. I would go, "one." Then another car goes by, I go "two." Then let's say another car goes by after the second car, you follow me? I would go, "three." KC: Uh..huh... DH: And supposing another car passes us with a license plate on it? "Four." I could usually get up to twenty or thirty before we even hit the Interstate. Another car goes by, I go "five." Another car, "six." KC: I..I see. You would do this...out loud, would you. DH: Yeah, yeah of course I would (*BLEEP*)in' do it out loud. How else is anyone gonna know I'm countin' em? KC: How else, indeed. And your parents? What did they think of this? DH: Well, my parents never said much on these long trips. They were kind of eccentric, Katie: they would both wear these headphone-looking things the whole time, and every now and then out of the blue my mom would say "That's very creative, Dean. Keep it up. You're a very clever boy." And then she'd go back to her reading or whatever. KC: I see. Well, thanks a lot for-- DH: I wasn't finished. Anyhow, let's say we're on the Interstate, and I'd already counted fifty plates. Now another car goes by with a plate, see, what I would do, see, I'd go "fifty-one." Another car, "fifty-two." KC: Yes--thanks a bunch for talking to-- DH: Another one, "fifty-three." And so on, one per car. You with me? Another car, "fifty-four." You can see how this led to Snuh, right? KC: I think we can all see that now. Thanks for being with us today, Dean. Join me tomorrow when DAVIDHERO will explain how he invented B1FFing even though he has only been on the Internet since 1993! Have a great day! DH: ...and then another car would pass us, right, with a plate--I'd go "fifty-five." The next one after that? "Fifty-six." Then say another car wen... >> >> Yes? Well >> >> then, by all means thank the mouth-breathing "snuh" idiots for their time >> >> and bring on the eggheads! >> > >> > >> >I'll take the mouth-breathing idjiots for one hundred, Alex. >> >> Oh, good! Good! >> >> Are you going to take them soon? > > >yes, all over to teh nose for an extended stay. *******NEXT WEEK'S USENET FEATURE STORY*********** ********SNUH POSTERS KEEP TRADITION ALIVE********8*** Ask most people today about newsgroup flooding, and one of the first words out of their mouths is "bot." But one newsgroup invader refuses to let go of the old ways, and he has found a novel way to produce reams of meaningless newsgroup posts while providing employment to a small army of functionally illiterate Usenet posters--young men and women who would otherwise be consigned to Web message boards and AOL chat rooms. We'll talk to this stickler for tradition next week. Don't miss it.