From: dok@!uce.lart.com (Doktor Pete) Newsgroups: alt.usenet.kooks,alt.fan.karl-malden.nose,alt.flame,alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk,alt.romath,news.admin.net-abuse.usenet Subject: 0898 MALDEN Date: Thu, 28 Sep 2000 21:54:55 GMT Organization: Doklands Mafia Lines: 527 Message-ID: <8r0egs$813$1@chihuahua.databasix.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: chihuahua.databasix.com Mime-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=ISO-8859-1 Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit X-Cohort: #10 X-mhm: 26x10 X-Cabal: TINC X-d00d: #d066y-57yl3 X-KotAGoR: you bet X-Meow: Meow! Meow meow!! Meow meow meow!!! HYPNOCATION The BEST SUBLIMINAL TAPES ON UPA ALMOST AS GOOD AS GROWING ANOTHER PANCREAS! AS SEEN ON CNN...BBC...Fox...QVC NOT AVAILABLE IN STORES ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD! Page 1 (of 1) Doklands Mafia present... Online NeuroTainment & A.S.S.B.I.T.E.* Mind Fuck HypnoCation / NLP(TS)** AKA 0898 MALDEN (£1/minute when called) *A.S.S.B.I.T.E. = AMAZING SUBLIMINAL SUCCESS BRINGING INSTANT TROLLING EDUCATION! Super/Mega/Ultra SMU-10X TEFLONAUDIO MIND EXPANSION TIPS **NLP(TS) = Neuro-Linguistic Programming (Tactical Syntax) - ILLEGAL IN FRANCE AND ALLIED TERRITORIES! (CHECK FOR PARTICIPATING ISPS) USENET HYPNO MIND SEXPANSION MADE EASY! IT'S THE SAFE MEOW SUBLIMINAL TEXT-BASED FULFILLMENT OF YOUR USENET FANTASIES FOR DISCREET, UNINHIBITED ADULTS TO FUCK THEIR MINDS & ENJOY their USENET LIVES MORE IN THE NEW AGE! FUCK YOUR MIND FOR MEOW SEXCESS! GIVE YOURSELF THE USENET PERFORMANCE ART EDGE SO YOU CAN HAVE MORE FUN ONLINE! NEWSFLASH... HypnoCation ADULT Subliminal Tapes... AS SEEN ON TV... When Mail-Order Goes Wrong, Fox (March 1998)... The Wall Street Journal (May 98)... Success Magazine (Nov 98)... BBC News (Jan 99)... CNN... Reuters... Lifestyle Extra, The Times (LONDON)... The ONLY SUBLIMINAL MEOW EXPANSION TAPE TO RECEIVE THESE HONOURS! EVERBODY HAS A NEED TO MEOW & ANYBODY CAN BE A USENET PERFORMANCE ARTIST! FACT! In the famous Bruce report & many other Harvard-based scientific/ academic reports on Usenet behaviour over the last 5(!) years, it is estimated that 99% of all human beings can benefit from Meow & the other 1% are already dead! If It Feels Good Do It! IN THIS TIME OF DANGER FROM CONTENT-BASED CENSORIOUS FUCKHEADS, MEOW HAS BECOME A VERY IMPORTANT PART OF A NORMAL PERSON'S USENET LIFE! Usenet Performance Art is a normal human function to diminish and relieve tension, anxiety, stress, frustration plus it provides needed fun, relaxation & deserved orgasmic pleasure! It can also be used spiritually for projecting magick, wishes & prayers at the point of posting, for raising higher inner consciousness & communicating with gods, spirits & higher powers! MANY OF US ARE ANTISOCIAL MALCONTENTS AND CHOOSE TO STAY THAT WAY! Page 2 (of 1) Some avoid contact with silly people as it may trigger the realisation that they are also silly. Some avoid contact with their own silliness for fear of TOS attacks. Some people take the risk and embrace human silliness because they need Usenet satisfaction. THEIR LIVES ARE BRIGHTER! They have the NEED to share this levity with others. On their own it is only masturbation, but when shared with others it becomes satisfying MEOWNET PERFORMANCE SEX! Our HAND-PICKED Meowers, Flonkers and Trolls want to pleasure YOU! IMAGINE... if you could please others as deeply and as perfectly as you dream of pleasing yourself. IMAGINE... a multidimensional creative place deep within your mind that can bring you to incredible new Usenet heights but you just don't know how to get there! IMAGINE... a place where every Usenet dream or fantasy you ever imagigned could come true! IMAGINE... a place of Usenet fun... with no fear, shame, guilt, disease, netcops, inhibitions, failure or people judging you. Where anything you wanted to do on Usenet was ALWAYS OK... ANYTHING! IMAGINE... an 0898 call to your UPA Subconscious as often as you want & each time you take an 0898 MALDEN trip it's as if you were perfominging with REAL MEOWERS! IMAGINE... these 0898 MALDEN calls have real live subliminal MEOW sounds of people creating GENUINE USENET PERFORMANCE ART! Sarcasm, irony, self- referential and recursive dialogue, faux-naivete, dirty words, catchphrases and an incredible array of moans, groans and screams of *delight* can Be Heard By You! IMAGINE... many people experience Meow deeper and more intense than they ever believed possible! Some report orgasms just from the subliminal AUDIO SEXPERIENCE! IMAGINE... users ALSO report ecstacy, hallucinations, religious conversion, laughter & revalations as good as any they have every known when posting to Usenet! SOMETIMES EVEN BETTER! 0898 MALDEN CAN BE AS GOOD AS THE REAL THING BECAUSE... IT IS THE REAL THING, NIPPLECHIPS! IS IT ANY WONDER THAT HYPNO MIND SEXPANSION IS SWEEPING THE WORLD?! Page 3 (of 1) REMEMBER, THE REAL MEOW ORGAN IS THE BRAIN! ALL USENET PERFORMANCE ART ORIGINATES THERE! MEOWNET PERFORMANCE SEX is better than any rental video, better than cinema, TV, music or drugs! IMAGINE... that you'd never have to be bored, lonely or frustrated ever agian! 0898 MALDEN Try it... You'll like it... WE PROMISE ------------------------------------------------------------------------- HOW DOES IT WURK? First, you create your own personal Meow environment, through strong coffee, sleep deprivation, or whatever else YOU want for that perfect UPA atmosphere! Close your eyes & listen to your taoe for about ten (10) minutes. There will be no obvious voices or sounds to consciously distract you from departing on your 0898 MALDEN trip! There is nothing "dirty" or "off-topic" about you when you use an 0898 MALDEN audio. Nothing is wrong if it conforms to your own personal Meow standards & nobody can know what you do if you don't tell them! You will be told subliminally to relax and enjoy your own mind & body because you have determined the MEOWNET PERFORMANCE SEX trip by selecting the subject of the MEOWNET PERFORMANCE SEX tape subliminally! You will hear a Music that transports you like a time machine on your own personal journey to UPA Sextasy! Just as on Usenet, no two MEOWNET PERFORMANCE SEX experiences WITHIN THE SAME TAPE will ever be exactly alike! This Will Motivate You To CALL 0898 MALDEN Often For New & More Exciting UPA Experiences! ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Online NeuroTainment A.S.S.B.I.T.E.* Mind Fuck HypnoCation uses the TeflonAudio Process SMU-10XXX With UNFORGETTABLE HYPNO-SUBLIMINALS! Online NeuroTainment USES TeflonAudio Process SMU-10X... A Super / Mega / Ultra (Speed Of Light) SUBLIMINAL SOUND WAVES Discovery (SSWs)... the Page 3 (of 1) same process that makes BLACK HELICOPTERS INVISIBLE TO RADAR! TeflonAudio SMU-10XXX Programs Your Mind With Deep Brain Subliminal UPA Fantasy Suggestions Deeper Than Your Ability To Forget Them! Hidden under music the SSWs trigger the formation of new nerve connections between cells & memory receptors in the right & left brain are multiplied & balanced! Endorphins & natural chemicals are released to assist in every function the body & brain require for SMU-10XXX PERFECT PERFORMANCE! Not a Drug! 1000% NATURAL! TeflonAudio SMU-10XXX Brain Optimising Harmonic Frequencies combined with the advaced NLP(TS) re-patterning techniques used in our other tapes have lifted the quality of The BEST TAPES ON EARTH on the Ladder of Personal & Metaphysical Growth, Ecstacy and UPA Enlightenment! The Advanced Neuro-Linguistic Programming (Tactical Syntax) Used In All Our Other Tapes Have Lifted The Quality of these MeowNet Performance Sex Tapes to a NEW LEVEL of UPA Quality Never Before Sexperienced! TeflonAudio SMU-10XXX (Speed of Light) Subliminal Self Hypnosis Self-Help Tapes Put Your Mind Deep Subconscious On That... NEW LEVEL NOW! STEALTH MeowPerformace SMU-10X... The POWER of 10 (ten) TAPES IN ONE! The VERY BEST TAPES ON EARTH... JUST GOT BETTER! UPA MeowAudio SMU-10XXX... Neuro-Linguistic Programming (Tactical Syntax) is Sometimes Called The Hubbard, Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed Perfect State Of Mind! One Greate A.S.S.B.I.T.E. MEOWNET PERFORMANCE SEXPERIENCE Will More Than Justify the Cost Of The Tape Forever! These UPA MeowAudio Tapes Subliminally Improve Your UPA Skills & Instincts & CAN MAKE YOU VERY HAPPY! These UPA MeowAudio Tapes are the Very Best Of All The UPA Tapes On Earth! The MEOWNET PERFORMANCE SEXPERIENCES you have will carry over to the UPA you make with others and improve your posting quality dramatically! These tapes reprogram your mind for UPA success... They Put Your Mind On The 0898 MALDEN A.S.S.B.I.T.E. Channel! Welcome to the WONDERFUL World of UPA MeowAudio... With HypnoCation & TeflonAudio NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE! Page 4 (of 1) PROGRAM YOUR MIND FOR UPA SEXCESS! WARNING... The 0898 MALDEN MEOWNET PERFORMANCE SEX Audio CAN BE VERY ADDICTIVE... But FUN! MHEH! No Concentration Required! Use Sleeping / Mediating / Anytime 5-10 Minutes / 2-3 times a week! NO OTHER TAPE COMPARES! NOT AVAILABLE IN STORES ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD 0898 MALDEN MEOWNET PERFORMANCE SEX TAPES NOT LISTED IN ANY SPECIAL ORDER! Hey Gringo, there are a lot of tapes to choose from. PLEASE Look Closely, You Never Know What You Will Find! NOTE: EXCEPT WHERE SPECIFICALLY NOTED ALL TAPES MAY SAFELY BE USED BY UPAIST / KOOKOLOGIST - GAY / STRAIGHT Tape Descriptions May Sound Similar But All Tapes & Trips Are Subliminally & Artistically Different! No two handcrafted MEOWNET PERFORMANCE SEX Trips Are exactly alike! In All Tapes You May Be the Troll or the Hooked & If Desired You Can Just Be The Lurker! NK-1 BARNEY RAPED MY FAMILY!!!1! £59.95 + p&p A lovable children's character abuses and is abused in every way possible! No limits! YOU set the scenario, WE provide the dinosaur! To CUSTOMISE this tape you can actually write your own wants list for a fantasy object! Perhaps Barney is too purple for your MEOWSEX tastes? YOU provide the details... Be very explicit & use street words that a regular newsgroup would not allow! ANYTHING LEGAL GOES... IT'S YOUR FANTASY! NOTE: ALL CUSTOM TEFLONAUDIO TAPES £79.95 + p&p The Custom Comments above apply to all tapes below! NK-2 A DATE WITH THE PORNPIG £59.95 + p&p Red hot animal filth! May be too strong for everyday tastes - if in Page 5 (of 1) doubt, please consult your doktor! NK-3 FISTFUL OF PENIS (our best seller) £59.95 + p&p How much can you handle? We guarantee this one will run and run! Not for those lacking in stamina! NK-4 TEH FRY BIN £59.95 + p&p look i dont maek teh ruels im just teelign yuo how thigns aer okay? do yuo haev teh dissiplne to maek it as a souldier in teh anty slaesze army? waed thruogough teh muontaens of filth adn find uot, yuo prevret! NK-5 TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE £59.95 + p&p Anal action from the Colon Commandoes! Huh-m-heh-huh. You said "action"! NK-6 50-FOOT GRUBOR £59.95 + p&p WARNING: This tape is illegal in Canada! Streaming RealAudio version also available. NK-7 HAIKU OVERLOAD £59.95 + p&p Experience the wonders of the Orient WITH or WITHOUT a Certificate of Eligiblity! NK-8 PADDLE MY PALMJOB £139.95 + p&p ** TRIPLE TAPE ** Remastered And Re-Edited! Now More Compact And Efficacious! A Bedtime Favourite! CUSTOM VERSION ONLY £199.95 NK-9 POLYAMORIST WEINER DOGGY £59.95 + p&p Includes free antibiotics! NK10 HAWAIIAN OKRA MANIPULATOR £59.95 + p&p For the first time, experience this exciting and exotic technique in the comfort of your own home! REMEMBER... ALL SINGLE TAPES JUST £59.95 CUSTOM TAPES £79.95 WE SELL WHOLESALE TO THE PUBLIC! Page 6 (of 1) Buy More Than One And You Get FREE Tapes BUY 2 GET 1 FREE... BUY 3 GET 2 FREE! BUY 4 GET 3 FREE... BUY 5 GET 5 FREE! BUY 10 GET 15 FREE! NK11 LUTEFISK LOVERS £59.95 + p&p You want rancid? We can provide it! NK12 ANALFACE £59.95 + p&p If Ye Are Misguided And Wrong Then Let Us Supply You With Wit And Elegance! NK13 P-SHIFT ME BABY £59.95 + p&p Surrealistic all-fours doggy-style golden shower fantasies! NK14 DIRK WEARS BLACK SHIRTS £59.95 + p&p All-action blasphemous temple-desectrating fun! NK14 MY STIFF NUT £59.95 + p&p REVEALED: the charm and the romance of sweaty young men in polyester uniforms! NK15 BRADNEE HAS NO DICK £59.95 + p&p Harrowing Psycho Drama! NK16 DO YOU HAVE ANY ABUSE TO DISCUSS, ABUSER £59.95 + p&p All Abuse, All The Time! NK17 HEAD FOR THE LIBRARIAN £59.95 + p&p Yes, even the most implausible situations CAN COME TRUE with TEFLONAUDIO Mind Fuck HypnoCation! NK18 DELI COUNTER RENDEZVOUS / BEAUTY PAGEANT SHOWDOWN £59.95 + p&p Surprisingly unpopular tape from our fetish range. NK19 BORN TO FAXOR £59.95 + p&p Showcasing the most sextacular comedy of errors EVER! NK20 MANNYBALLS £59.95 + p&p Page 7 (of 1) They're Not Chocolate And They're Certainly Not Salty! *** CONSIDER AN UPGRADE *** SPECIAL UPGRADE... For TWENTY 20X TIMES THE POWER! *EVERY TEFLONAUDIO / NLP(TS) SUBLIMINAL TAPE CAN BE UPGRADED TO The NLP(TS)-20X CIRCULAR 360º STEALTH NEUROTAINMENT PROCESS* @ £84.95 + p&p EACH / £104.95 CUSTOM HYPER SPECIAL UPGRADE... For FIFTY 50X TIMES THE POWER! *EVERY TEFLONAUDIO / NLP(TS) SUBLIMINAL TAPE CAN BE UPGRADED TO The NLP(TS)-50X SPIRAL 360º STEALTH NEUROTAINMENT PROCESS* @ £119.95 + p&p EACH / £139.95 CUSTOM IT'S 20X / 50X THE POWER OF ANY OTHER TAPE! YOU TRULY WILL NOT BELIEVE THE BENEFITS UNTIL YOU EXPERIENCE THEM! BUY THE BEST YOU CAN AFFORD! NK21 GOING DOWN LIKE A HOOK, LINE & SINKER £59.95 + p&p NK22 TITTYFUCK PARADISE £59.95 + p&p NK23 THIS CHARMING MEOW £59.95 + p&p NK24 SUCK THE FUCKING PIGS £59.95 + p&p NK25 FAAGG £59.95 + p&p NK26 MEXICO GREASE £59.95 + p&p NK27 MEAT IN HAND AGAIN £59.95 + p&p NK28 SNUH MY BITCH UP £59.95 + p&p NK29 STOP CROSSDRESSING, YOU GAYLORD! £59.95 + p&p NK30 HENRIETTA PUSSYCAT £59.95 + p&p *** ULTRA UPGRADE *** NULL SONIC SUPERLEARN PROCESSING AS SEEN THROUGHOUT THE MEDIA! NOW AVAILABLE ON ALL 0898 MALDEN TAPES! IMAGINE... A Completely QUIET / Super Silent Subliminal Mind Expansion PSEUDAUDIO Tape That PROGRAMS Your Mind For UPA SUCCESS... Asleep Or Awake! Page 8 (of 1) IMAGINE... No Voices! No Music! NO SOUND AT ALL! What You Can't Hear Counts The Most! NOW NullSonic Upgrades Available At Only £19.95 EXTRA per tape! Just Add "BLA-" To The Order Number. Example NK27 Becomes BLA-NK27. NK31 BATHROOM BANDITO £59.95 + p&p NK32 COLLEGE-BOWL CHEERLEADERS £59.95 + p&p NK33 PLUSHIEFUCKING £59.95 + p&p NK34 CHOAD TO NOWHERE £59.95 + p&p NK35 BITCH! £59.95 + p&p NK36 THE REEKING BUNS OF ANGEL! £59.95 + p&p NK37 FLUFFY CUPCAKE LUCY £59.95 + p&p NK38 SHITTY BUM MASSACRE £59.95 + p&p NK39 LAVERNE, PRISON BRIDE £59.95 + p&p NK40 ADD ME TO YOUR FIST £59.95 + p&p WE MAKE CUSTOM MEOWNET PERFORMANCE SEX TAPES You can create your own custom-made UPA tapes by writing your own Usenet fantasy scripts outlines, and sending them to us... Obviously there is no end to UPA ideas... The few we list are not necessarily special, they are Page 9 (of 1) just a starting point for your brain! Your Brain Is Your Meow Organ! Be frank and open with us... There is no point in trying to hide your UPA fantasies... Just tell us what you do and don't like... Use real Meow words, fuckhead... All your desires are normal... There must be no shame in you UPA fantasy world! No standards should be set... No-one is judging you! WE WILL DO ANYTHING YOU ASK AS LONG AS IT'S LEGAL... ETHICS, MORALS, VALUES, TASTE OR TYPE OF UPA ARE NOT OUR CONCERN! IMPORTANT... IMPORTANT... IMPORTANT... IMPORTANT... IMPORTANT... Copies of our scripts or technical processes are NEVER available to anyone for obvious business reasons. This Means That Your Custom Tape Ideas Are Completely Confidential! Online NeuroTainment HypnoCation is an Internation Company operating out of International Waters! We can do the things that other companies can't OR DAREN'T DO! A big THANK YOU to all of the MEOWNET PERFORMANCE SEX ARTISTS who have submitted their ideas to our 0898 MALDEN range of tapes! REMEMBER... All ADULTS In The Listening Range Of These Tapes Can Have Their Inner Meow Released! Please Be Prudent In Their Use Or Someone Else May Benefit At Your Expense! IF THEY ARE CUSTOMISED THIS CANNOT HAPPEN! YOUR £££ ARE YOUR GUARANTEE! Our Advanced NLP(TS) techniques mean that children and minors are IMMUNE to any effects of Mind Fuck Hypnocation! Safe For All The Family! NOTE... For those of you who BELIEVE in the Power of the Minds, in UFOs, in magick, in the paranormal, in metaphysics, No Explanation Of How These Tapes Work Is Necessary! For those of you who do not believe, NO EXPLANATION IS POSSIBLE! Closed-minded people, agnostics, skeptics, lawyers, college graduates... Our Tapes Are Not For You! -- .-""-. _.---. .-. .-. / _ \ _ /|) . : : :.-..' `. .'---""-.| /|) /|/: :: : .--. : `'.'`. .'.--. .--. .' `. /|/ /|/ : :; :' .; :: . `. : :' .; :: ..' __/_ \ . /|/ /|/ :___.'`.__.':_;:_; :_;`.__.':_; .' `-. .8-. \\-/|/ /|/ .---. .-. J .--. Y .o./ .o8\ |/\ `/_.-. : .; : .' `. | ( \ 98P 888| /\ / ( ` | : _.'.--.`. .'.--. | `-._/ | `"|/\ / \|\ F : : ' '_.': :' '_.' `. . "-'|\ / \/\ J :_; `.__.':_;`.__.' |---' _/\ / \// ` | J /// / / F ( the phoney troll alias ) _\ .'`-._ ./// / /\\.' / `. / .-' `<-'/// / _/\ \\ F.--.\|| `.`/ /.-' )|\ \`. \__.-/)' `.-' ')/\\ / trojanhorse{at}hipcrime{dot}net .-' .'/ \ ') `-' ( .'.' '`. .' "Mankind was born free, \'.' ' `. .-' and is everywhere in chainstores." J ' `.__.-'/| F : `._/ | Doklands Mafia J : | http://www.fluxus.freeserve.co.uk L ;-"""-. F Music You Don't Like \ / \ / http://www.mp3.com/dktr `.J L _.' Indulge Your Paranoia F |--' | http://www.mp3.com/tincproject J | |__ L | `. Cohort #10 D00d #d066y-57yl3 | |-. \| KotAGoR mhm26x10 | \ )_.' F -.\ )-' artwork by Veronica Karlsson \ )_) evil ASCII genius `"""""""'