The Fencers and the Big Move


My soulmate and I are, among other things, pathological accumulators. We like things that are pretty, shiny, book-like, have sharp edges, or are just plain interesting, and we like to take them home with us.
It's not that we never throw anything away, but rather that we gather so much neat, treasured, or potentially useful stuff that it exceeds the disposal rate.

So the time came when we had outgrown our little flat, and it was time to move on. We needed to find a place where we could spread out, and would no longer have to climb over our fencing bags to get to the computers, keep the bikes in the bathtub, or balance the mail in an ever more precarious pile on the pile of videos. It also had to be close to trains, the city, and our fencing clubs. Thus began our oddessy.

A month later we upped our rental rate to $220, and started looking at suburbs furthur afield. As we entered the final weeks we began looking at places for up to $260 a week. Finally, in the Glen Iris area, we began to hit our target.
T - 2 weeks, and we applied for 3 houses that were in varying states of disrepair, but were big. They were far from perfect, and we hoped the landlords would be prepared to engage in the cut and thrust, parry riposte of negotiation. Foolish optomists were we, for as we advanced, our would-be landlords stepped off the piste, declaring that though ideal tenants we obviously were, they didn't have to play this game.

But then at T - 1 week, we found the perfect place. Spacious, near a station, and almost exactly midway between our two clubs. Could life get any better? Yes! A courtyard long enough fence in! Finally I can build and test those bungee spools!

In a flurry of activity preparations were made, old landlord alerted, new lease signed, plan of attack formulated. Before we'd even left someone had taken our car space. Returning from fencing tired, but still full of adrenalin, I was not impressed. I left them a message on their bonnet. It was a whiteboard marker, it would wipe right off. They were still there the next day, I considered finding out if I could get them towed. Now that the new lease was signed, I didn't feel the usual rules of being a good neighbour applied anymore. They moved eventually, but I wasn't game to park in our spot until after Thursday training, just in case they were still around and waiting for revenge.

Then it was off to Sydney for a week for the national championships. Upon our return, we picked up the keys and leapt around the corner to our new home with a series of ballestras our enthusiasm would not allow to be restrained. A passe-sotto in the lounge, a fleche up the hall, and this unit was declared the home of fencers. And so it began.
First the non-essentials, for this would be a gradual move. The collectibles go first, the computers and fencing equipment would be among the last. The following weekend however our move was interrupted by the Lygon Street Festa competition. Well, there must be priorities. Even a new home has to wait for a chance to fence in front of an audience, in a major intersection no less.

Next weekend marked the final stage of the move, as we hired muscle with a truck to come and take the heavy stuff for us. Our precious fencing equipment was stowed in the car where it was safe from their blundering, the rest of the fragiles were left to take their chances. As we directed the muscles to put down the furniture, one eyed the display swords with interest. We ended up talking fencing, David pulled out our fencing weapons and since he seemed more interested in historical things we told him about the SCA. Just goes to show you shouldn't pay attention to stereotypes.

And so our move ended. We still have to bypass the fencing bags to get at the computers, but at least the bikes can be kept in the garage, the lounge is big enough for armoury working bees, and no one else will be parking in our spot.


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Written by: Lisa Lagergren
Date: 20-11-99