Letter to Tameside Council

David Siddall

11th August 1985

Dear Sir,            

I am writing this letter to make a complaint

And though I am angry I write with restraint

Just recently Sir, I went for a stroll

And near broke my neck when I fell down a hole

It is just one of many, the hole I fell down

And I think it’s the same one that claimed Mrs. Brown

She lived just up the road until quite recently

And one day went out for a stroll just like me

But since that day, she is not to be found

Has she disappeared through a hole in the ground?

And that’s not to mention poor, old Mrs. Cork

She vanished whilst taking her dog for a walk

And there’s also big Billy who lives just next-door

For he fell down a hole and let out a roar

We were able to save him because he was stout

He was stuck in the hole with his head sticking out.

I know what I’ve written above may sound silly

For a start I’ve not got a neighbour called Billy

And Missus Brown and Cork really do not exist

I just conjured them up when I sat and wrote this

But if you can see my point, then I will be thrilled

For the holes in our Road really need to be filled

So please do your best, don’t just throw this in t’bin

Send somebody over to fill these holes in.

Yours Sincerely

D Siddall

Reply from Tameside Council

Tameside Council

16th August 1985

Dear Mr. Siddall,   

Thanks, Mr. Siddall for your letter received

Please give our condolences to all the bereaved

We note your complaint with an air of concern

For those unfortunate people who did not return

The fact of the matter is a shortage of men

And this situation will probably happen again

We are only God’s children the same as yourself

And there's one more problem, the shortage of wealth

The answer to your problem lies on the dole

Where many a man would gladly fill in the hole

However, the problem of your ‘pothole’ remains

Which by this time could well be affecting the drains

Our instant attention we will put into force

To stop this situation getting any worse

These holes of displeasure will be truly contained

And we hope the reason was poetically explained

Yours Faithfully

Chief Engineer.