Rod Hull and the love of his life

Rod Hull makes his first television appearence on Fist of Fun here in episode 1 of series 2.


STEW - Love means many different things to many different people. For example in Spain the word 'hamon' means both love and meat. Which explains why on a recent holiday there, I ended up buying a packet of sausages off a Catalonian transsexual and then spending much longer in the butchers shop than my itinerary had allowed for.

RICH - But, its not just ordinairy people who experience love. Celebrities do as well. Yes, we're just like you, except with more money and some interesting friends. Yeah, I know the yodler from the Riccola advert. So, to discuss that issue of celebrities in love, will you please welcome our very special celebrity guest. You'll remember him from 'Emu's Pink Windmill Show'. It's Rod Hull!

[ROD HULL ENTERS WAVING ONE OF HIS REAL ARMS]

Well Rod, thanks very much for coming on and taking time out of your busy schedule to see us.

ROD HULL - It's a great pleasure Richard. I AM Rod Hull!

RICH - yes, I know, yeah okay.

ROD HULL - I am!

RICH - I know. So tell us Rod, what do you love?

ROD HULL - I LOVE JELLY!!!

RICH - Ha ha ha! Very Funny!

ROD HULL - I love it. No, I really do! It's great, because you can have it on its own or as a side dish or on toast and you can have it boiled or fried or grilled or you can have it raw out of the packet! It's brilliant!

RICH - Oh, very, very good Rod!

ROD HULL - NO NO NO! You don't understand. I really luurrve it! Not just to eat. I am in love with jelly! I love it deeply, completely and sincerely. I love it like another man might like his religion or his wife! I LOVE IT AND I WANT TO MARRY IT. You might think I'm strange, but I'm NOT! I want to be wedded to jelly and if that's what I want, THAT'S WHAT I SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO DO!!!

RICH - Yeah, yeah of course.

ROD HULL - I SHOULD!!!

RICH - ALRIGHT! Okay!

ROD HULL - Can I have my jelly now, please?

RICH - What?

ROD HULL - My Jelly. You said I could have jelly.

RICH - What, you want it now?

ROD HULL - I WANT MY JELLY!!!!!!

STEW - I've got it. Here's the jelly.

ROD HULL - Thanks.

STEW - As we agreed before.

[STEW HANDS THE BOWL OF JELLY TO ROD AND THEN HELPS HIM HOLD THE SPOON IN HIS OTHER REAL HAND]

I'll just put the spoon there.

ROD HULL - I can do it. Thank you.

[ROD HULL PUSHES THE SPOON AROUND THE BOWL, BUT FOR SOME REASON HE SEEMS UNABLE TO LIFT IT TO HIS MOUTH]

STEW - It does wobble around, doesn't it?

ROD HULL - Yes, it does.

[ROD HULL GIVES UP]

I'll have it later.

RICH -Ummm...Rod, is there another series of Emu's Pink Windmill Show in the pipeline?

ROD HULL -[CRESTFALLEN] No.

RICH - Ladies and gentlemen! Rod Hull!!

[ROD LEAVES THE STAGE SCREAMING "I AM HIM!!"]



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