Ghost Machine Self-Assembly Kit
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                           GHOST MACHINE SELF-ASSEMBLY KIT
                                           INSTRUCTIONS
                                                       I
                                         FUEL RECIPE
Take three quarts of paradox from your nearest pint-pot. Add essence of dementia. Stir 
briskly and pepper with molecules. Allow to stand and wait for imagination to rise. Knead 
two gross of  nebulae into a malleable pastry. Add one poppet of whatever-it-is, a broad sauce 
of parody and a prime choice cut of indignant indigence. Stand well back and light fuse. 
Never look directly at the sun.
                                                     II
                                       CHASSIS ASSEMBLY
Retrieve bones from elephants graveyards. Collect rusting girders from derelict factories. 
Connect elephant bones (A) to girders (B) using risible appliance (enclosed). Next mount 
with the best available ‘saurian fossil (Triceratops recommended) and decorate with leaves 
torn from The World’s Classics. Test for balance and dynamics with an improbalometer (not 
enclosed). Remember, you must not take it out onto the streets or to social functions until you 
have obtained a proper licence.
                                                III
                                        POWERING UP
Once cooled, remove fuel from centre of crater. Apologize to your neighbours for demolition 
of their homes. (Hope they renewed their insurance!) Next, taking just a sufficient amount, in 
exactly the right place, never elsewhere, pour in a quantity of fuel. When the red indicator 
flashes on, scram. Beware of ephemera and stolid, wooden objects for the first five minutes. 
If elephants persist, consult your local dealer.
                                                 IV
                               DRIVING YOUR MACHINE
Avoid right turns. Be considerate to other users, particularly the elderly and bicyclists. Take 
care at junctions, there may be an unexpected development. At all times be humane, 
remember, machines have feelings too. Watch out for time-hoppers and avoid being caught in 
their slip- stream. Regularly check your appearance in a mirror - in case of sudden change 
immediately turn off your Ghost Machine. Do not run engine while standing still as a 
personal morass might appear, particularly in the vicinity of a carpet.