Unwillingness to recognize and respect differences in opinions or beliefs
An article involving an apparently disgruntled ("Bored rigid over peoples shoulders") jounalist venting her frustrations with one of the ways which people enjoy their own time; playing video games:
The dark ages
"At my college evening class last week, two intelligent, thirtysomething suited guys – solicitors or managers to judge from their e-mail addresses – were talking about their new Xbox 360s and what transcendent joy was to be had from them. I eavesdropped more attentively. Apparently, in Gears of War, the smallest details of the largest battles were crystal clear, in widescreen! Surely they were discussing their children’s computer games? Xboxes are toys, after all.
Further chat revealed the professional gentlemen were childless. The Xboxes were toys for very big boys indeed. Worried, I went unto Google and retrieved this trend for you: Nielsen Media Research surveyed American men aged 18 to 34 and found 48 per cent of them had used a games console recently, and on average, it was for 2 hours 43 minutes per day. Yes, half of not-so-young men spend nearly three hours a day gaming.
Can this be true? Are British chaps really spending their life outside work alone in their bedrooms or living rooms with games on 50in LCD TVs? I assumed that, after adolescence, young men put away childish things and played amateur football, got amusingly drunk, instigated punch-ups, watched Big Brother or ineffectually pursued women. Yet here were men holding down serious careers by day, but infantalised by night in a virtual world.
I quizzed my sons, aged 10 and 13. “Are fathers playing these games alone, without their offspring as an excuse?” I asked. “Yes,” they said. “They buy them for their kids, then play them themselves.” One banker dad they knew was always on Age of Empires and Civilization. As for the Wiis in other people’s houses – well, you couldn’t get the adults off them, they said. Particularly the golf.
It’s worse than grown men building Hornby 00-gauge train sets in their attics, or constructing battles with painted toy soldiers. Only a few men did that, in secret, but now everyone is celebrating their inner geek.
Now, I recognise the amusement to be had strutting your stuff to Guitar Hero III and I know what’s in the Age of Empires, Second Life, World of Warcraft-type on-and-offline games, having been bored rigid over people’s shoulders, but what of the “mature”-rated video games? I’ve heard of the rude ones, such as Leisure Suit Larry, where Larry’s object is to divest himself of his leisure suit. Or the panting that goes on in the “Hot Coffee” patch in Grand Theft Auto. But what of the solicitor’s and manager’s favourite game, Gears of War?
Off to the Istillplaygames.com website. Fans of Gears of War write of the non-stop assault course: “The bayonet is dead – long live its replacement: the baby chainsaw.” And: “The sounds of the Locusts crying out as your chainsaw rips through them is one of the most satisfying things I’ve heard.” Oh, yes. Look closely from now on at your solicitor and check for the madness in his red, screen-dry eyes.
Who knew that the generation who first became addicted to Pac-Man and Super Mario would turn out to be boys who never grew up? Man-teens sitting before their kiddy consoles like huge manatees.
But the games addiction is only a symptom of the extended childhood of the 21st-century hominid. Marriage, families and children are being delayed for as long as possible, replaced by conspiratorial flatmates and microwaved gastropub ready meals. Italian men stay at home with their mother; the British and Americans want to lead a life like an endless episode of Friends.
Perhaps there’s nothing to complain of about this man-teen era, unless you’re a woman with a ticking biological clock, waiting for someone – anyone – to grow up. As the academic Kay S. Hymowitz writes in the latest edition of City Journal, the young man “lingers – happily – in a new hybrid state of semi-hormonal adolescence and responsible self-reliance. Decades in the unfolding, this limbo may not seem like news to many, but, in fact, it is to the early 21st century what adolescence was to the early 20th: a momentous sociological development of profound economic and cultural import.”
Perhaps the man-teen’s retreat into a fantasy world of titans and totty merely reflects his lack of comfort in the real world, where daring, muscle and aggression are no longer valued. And how different is it from women slipping off into chick lit? If there is a crisis in traditional masculinity, perhaps the online game world provides a safe haven. Computer gaming offers a convenient escape from the domestic into the masculine, just as, last century, the gentlemen’s and working men’s clubs did."
Some responces:
"We live in an amazing age for civil liberty when interracial marriage is accepted. Empowered women are the norm. And men can make their own life choices that don't involve being chained down to support a family they aren't ready for in a soul-killing job that destroys their health before they're 40.
These men you describe appear professional, hard working, and successful in every respect. The whole of your complaints appear to be that they do not have families, and that they involve themselves in hobbies that you, perhaps alone, consider childish. Do you find their independence threatening? Are you innocent of self indulgent behaviour? Please consider the motivation behind your malice and contempt for a moment. You declare this independence and enjoyment of free time to be symptoms of a 'dark age'. I am sorry to hear that. Perhaps you were born in the wrong century."
- Thank you for your time. Ryan, Edmonton, Alberta, Canada
"Among other things your argument ignores the important fact that a large proportion of gamers are women. Are they regressing into childlike fantasies as well? Games may originally have been for children all those decades ago, but many have matured with their audience and there's no reason anymore to label every game a child's toy, your assertion that they are is absurd."
- Jason, Loughborough
"38 year old single working mom. Between me and my lil gamer in the making we own xbox, xbox 360, gameboy advance, Nintendo DS and a WII. My first console was Intellivision in 1981. I pay the mortgage, he gets good grades and we both kick virtual butt."
- Dot, Toronto, Canada
"What a passive agressive woman this writer is! Instead of going out and buying an X-box and then inviting her male friends over for a night of game playing with her, she stands on the sidelines and complains that her biological clock is ticking down and that men should do something about this by living to her specifications.
Grow up and join in the fun! The only thing worse than men playing games by themselves is the fact that women are so damned superior that they won't do anything with the men but call them little boys, and then stand off and complain. Where's the little girl in this woman? If she's so grown up that she can't squat down in the sand pile and have a good time with the boys, then no wonder she's left at home all alone at night. She's no damn fun to be around, and evidently, no one is around to play with her."
- Lee, Virginia, USA
"I am a woman... I have a university degree.... I have a fiancee.. I am a well adjusted human being with an active social life... I have a full time job... and god forbid I am a gamer!!! (shock horror)
Modern life is hard...we all face massive social pressures...both men and women are expected to hold down a wonderful career, be a great parent, be stunning to look at, be able to cook a feast, have a wonderful home, have an active social life, please your partner in the bedroom such like and so forth... and be happy about it... it is impossible to manage all of these pressures at once and sometimes we need to blow off some steam.... I would rather do that by gaming than by watching or reading mindless drivvle that only serves to exacerbate the pressures I am trying to escape from. Does this make me a manatee like woman-teen? I embrace my inner geek...perhaps you would be happier if you did too."
- Bex, Bath, Britain
"This woman is under the impression that men need some outlet to vent their masculine rage and engage in childish fantasies. She's wrong.
The old west is dead. The real world, where daring, muscle and aggression are no longer valued *is* the comforting one. This is the world that men want. Those daring, muscle bound Nukems are sent to die in Iraq, whilst the bankers and lawyers get rich.
No one cares about a woman's ticking biological clock. The driving factor in life is career, status, money. Family can come later in men's lives, so it does. That's not an indication of man-teen or fucking child-man or whatever you want to call it. This is a shifting of priorities caused by greater social mobility, higher education and globalisation.
The author has confused growing up with the desire for a family, to conform with 1950s social norms, to do the same job their father did, in the same town, to marry their highschool sweetheart and take their 2.4 children to church on a Sunday. The entire article is based on a false assertion that playing computer games involves infantalisation, that computer games are somehow more immature than getting pointlessly drunk, watching Big Brother, and instigating punch ups.
No, you're wrong. Men have grown up."
- Hver, via Kotaku
References
The Times Online