Cars:

Peugeot 104 GL (1988)

To be seen driven at break-neck speed around the country lanes of Selby and surrounding villages. God  only knows how I'm still alive, this car was handbrake-turned, j-turned, jumped off humpback bridges and it was rare I'd set off without spinning the wheels. I'd like to say I got it out of my system.

The 104 was a fantastic car, though, and ideal for this kind of idiocy since although it handled well it had very low grip levels, meaning all my tomfoolery actually happened at sane speeds. This particular car had had a 1.2 engine put in place of the 954cc unit that should have been there, and its power, or what little there was, went through 135 section tyres. Great fun! 

Peugeot 104 S (1991 ish)

To be seen very briefly before I crashed it one night in Leeds.

This car was fitted with the 1354cc engine, and twin-choke Solex carburettor. It also had beefed up suspension, with anti-rollbars front and rear, and wider tyres than my GL. I didn't really have the car long enough to comment on the way it went - a rather unpleasant divorce put pay to any thoughts of repairing it.

Citroen Visa 11RE Convertible (1992 ish)

Unusual four door convertible, based on the same platform as the 104. Great fun, but the start of a long hard lesson on how not to buy cars. Bought for 2 grand, then sold for 75 quid. 

The Visa, in this form at least, was blessed with a fabulous ride quality. An unfortunate corollary of this, as with many French cars, is that it would roll onto its door handles when it was shown a corner. For me that all added to the fun though.

Citroen Visa 1.6 GTi (1993)

My first genuinely fast motor: quick, but rather brittle. 

I'd just got my first job and my first action was to get a bank loan and blow it on this car. Oh dear God I was stupid! Barely checked the car over, bought from some dodgy dealer in Wakefield who saw me coming a mile off. Hello Mr Car Dealer, Hello Mr Naivety. 

Well, anyway, this car, when it was working, was an absolute joy to drive. Same rear suspension layout as a normal Visa, but the front end was basically the same as a 205 GTi. As such it had heavenly handling and was a revelation over anything I'd previously driven. 

Eventually after spending thousands keeping it going it turned out the car had a hole in the crank case which had been patched up with black mastic! I have a real soft spot for these cars though. If I had more space I'd buy one just for the hell of it.

Citroen ZX 1.9D Aura (1994)

My unluckiest car.

After nearly killing myself a few times in the GTi, mainly through reckless driving, less occasionally when garages forgot to bolt up key suspension items, I decided to go all pipe-and-slippers and bought a diesel with no power. Great handling though, and I managed to wear out the suspension - in fact I went through two sets of front suspension bushes.

The big problem with this car was the accidents, all two of them. The first of these involved a young girl on her way to school. I'll say up front that it wasn't my fault, and I have the letter from the police to prove it, but it still leaves you will some pretty awful memories. If anyone thinks its clever speeding in 30 zones take note: I hit this girl at 10-15mph and broke her leg, not to mention the fact that it nicely dented my wing and smashed the windscreen.

The second accident was less painful. Someone managed to drive into the side of me on a roundabout. At that point I decided enough was enough. I actually traded the car in while it was still in the body shop!

Citroen Xantia 1.9 TD VSX (1996)

I had a choice - I was thinking of getting a Honda Prelude, or even a Xantia 2.0 Turbo Activa. Instead I got another diesel. What?!

To be fair I was doing a fair old mileage at the time, and reliability and fuel costs came into the equation. In any case, I think this was one of my favourite cars in some ways. It was relaxing to drive, comfortable, yet had fabulous handling if you needed it. Indeed, because the car had semi-active suspension (well, its kind of reactive really) you could actually control how firm the suspension was, and hence what fun-factor you required, via a button. If only every car was as interesting as a Citroen. Then again, if only every Citroen was as reliable as a boring BMW.

MGF 1.8 VVC (1997)

This is more like it! Forget the hairdresser jibes, the MGF is a fantastic little car. 

Reviews may not flatter the old shape MGF so much anymore, but I loved mine. It was blessed with seriously chuckable handling and an entertaining lack of rear grip in the wet, often resulting in some grin-inducing slides around roundabouts. Coupled with a sensible amount of practicality the MGF makes a perfect little sports car if that's your budget.

Lotus Elise S1, standard 120hp (1998)

I actually bought the MGF whilst I was on the waiting list for this car. I waited 18 months, and I'm glad I did. 

The Elise is a seminal car. It finds a balance between being an amazing road car, and a competent track car, that few others can. It can worry cars costing vastly more money.

Vauxhall Vectra 1.8 GLS (1998)

The worst car I've owned.

My commute to work was 75 miles each way and the Elise just wasn't working out for that. Its a truly great car, but as an every day commuter it was just too noisy, too hard, too tiring. So I thought I'd get a bog standard rep mobile.

It was quite simply the worst car I've ever owned. It worked on no level - it was crap to drive, it lost loads of money, it wasn't particularly comfortable, it wasn't reliable. It was rubbish. Total rubbish. 

Citroen Xantia 2.0 16V VSX (1999)

Back to French cars again! I replaced the Vectra with this. 

I had this Xantia longer than any other car, yet it was far from perfect and effectively ended my love affair with French motor cars due its persistent unreliability.

Suzuki SV650S (2000)

Ok, not actually a car, but a motorbike. In a self-improvement frame of mind I decided to pass my bike test. Which, after all of 3 days of tuition I promptly did.

The SV650 is a fabulous first bike. Its easy to ride and very forgiving. 

Lotus Elise S2, standard 120hp (2001)

The second generation Elise complete with love it/loathe it styling.

The new shape Elise is a great little sports car. It's safe, quick and, to my eyes, good to look at. And there's nothing like pearlescent yellow to get you noticed.

Audi A6 2.4 SE Quattro (2002)

The A6 is the first German car I'd owned and I was impressed. Build quality is staggering, the 2.4 V6 engine super smooth, albeit not as powerful as I'd hoped. A true mile eating trans-continent express. I regret ever selling this car.