Our highlights:

We almost melted as soon as we stepped off the plane. We probably left two small puddles on the coach afterwards. As we drove towards the resort, we passed through an area that would make a great set for a scummy town in a Western film. It just needed some tumbleweed to finish it off. Lets face it, who would buy a car from a run-down shack with the sign: 'Mike's Motors - deals on wheels', who's cars looked like they'd been hit by a train.

We were stunned by the luxury of the hotel. Normally, we're used to trips abroad where you share the room with a family of cockroaches and eat food that's about as nutritious as a brick. Or where the bath is actually cleaner after you've been in it!

The buffet dinners were fantastic and had a huge choice. You could have as much as you could eat (oh dear). There was a range of weird local delicacies such as squid brains and seaweed pie (sorry, only kidding). Despite all these wonderful foods from across the Mediterranean sea, Dave usually sneeked off to 'kiddies corner' and stole all the fries!

We had to make use of some of that luxury and have a Jacuzzi. Normally, there's only one way to make bubbles underwater, but it's best not mentioned here!! Nearby was a well-equipped Gym. Despite being free to use, there was never more than two people in it. One look at the steamy windows and the people about to die inside was enough to put anyone off.

The resort had a lovely harbour, with some nice restaurants and shops. Unfortunately, getting there meant using the infamous local bus service. The drivers think a red stop light means 'carry on' and it seems that being mad is essential for the job. For some reason they like to 'entertain' the passengers with a radio station that consists of nothing but a loud woman, screeching constantly in Greek!

Lindsey soon took a shine to the 'Ouzo Special' drink. Dave decided to try a drink which was enigmatically just called 'local beer'. He soon discovered why it had no name - what evil substances went into this stuff, only they know, but they probably only give it to their goats normally!

We fulfilled an ambition by visiting Egypt for a day and going to the Pyramids. Dave almost got run over by a camel, which would have been hard to claim for on an insurance form! Of course, it was even hotter here (about 45°C), so we were happy to venture into one of the Pyramids. Some idiot seemed to get stuck in the passageway and we almost became a new addition to the tomb.

Around the Pyramids were hundreds of local salesman desperately flogging their postcards (20 for a pound) and 'genuine' Papyrus paintings. They try anything and have quickly learned foreign phrases like "closing down sale" and "cheaper than Asda" - it's quite funny hearing it. One guy offered 10,000 camels to buy Lindsey. Dave refused this offer outright (and explained that he could have her for 2 camels!!)

We then went to an old-fashioned Bazaar in Cairo, consisting of narrow streets with even more desperate salesmen. By an amazing coincidence (hmmm), everything just happened to be at "special prices - only today" and "for such a pretty lady - I sell at half price". After seeing enough knitted donkeys to last us a lifetime, we left quickly.

Back in Paphos, we went on 'George's Fun Bus', which was a really good day out. You visit various places, singing along the way. Then everyone has a barbecue overlooking the sea and George said the fateful words, "help yourself to the wine". Oh dear - bad move. Six cups later, Dave staggered back on to the bus and the rest became a blur.

We saw a lot of interesting ancient sites including roman mosaics and prehistoric tombs. Even the local people seemed ancient. Some of them were serious contenders for outliving Yoda from Star Wars (though none of them were green).

We had a big night out in Paphos, where all the bars give you a free shot (yikes). The scary thing was, the taxi driver on the way home seemed to have had more than us. We finished the honeymoon with a sunset cruise out of Paphos - very romantic. The Mediterranean sunsets are beautiful. Overall, a really memorable honeymoon and a location we can recommend to anyone thinking of going.

More Pictures

Here's what the brochure said: (and it was accurate for once!)

Paphos is one of the most beautiful and ancient towns of Cyprus. Today it is a small harbour town, but in Hellenistic and Roman times it was the Capital of Cyprus. It seduces its visitor with its majestic landscape, lovely coastline, historical treasures and delightful villages where tradition is still a way of life.

Kept in harmony with nature are divine mediaeval monasteries which lie peacefully in the Paphos heartland. The resort town has, as its focal point, a charming fishing harbour by Paphos Fort, lined with open-air cafes and tavernas that serve a tempting menu of the day's catch.

The low-lying scenery around Paphos, much of it cultivated with banana plantations and backed by the gentle foothills of the western Troodos range, has an attractively open quality to it. This is the gateway to the Peninsula of Akamas, a natural wilderness of incredible beauty with breathtaking gorges, spectacular coastlines and enjoyable nature trails.

At Palaepaphos, lie the remains of the Goddess Aphrodite's earliest Sanctuary. Among the treasures unearthed, are the remarkable mosaics in the Houses of Dionysos, Theseus and Aion, beautifully preserved after 16 centuries under the soil. Then there are the mysterious vaults and caves, the Tombs of the Kings, the Pillar to which Saint Paul was allegedly tied and whipped, the ancient Odeon Theatre and other places of interest including the Byzantine Museum and the District Archaeological Museum.

The Hotel St. George

St. George Hotel is located on the beach of Chlorakas Village, on the southwest coast of Cyprus, close to the port of Paphos. The St. George's Church and Boat, two historical landmarks of the area, constitute an integral part of the hotel grounds and design.

It is a four star hotel with very high standards and many facilities. Sited on 7 acres of land, one third of which are landscaped gardens, the hotel is bordered by rolling hills on the one side and the Mediterranean Sea with its magnificent sunsets on the other.

An impressive two level lobby, enclosed on one side by a glass curtain wall, offers a panoramic view of the sea. The sophisticated hotel interior comprises tastefully designed and fully equipped guestrooms, a choice of first class restaurants and bars as well as various forms of recreation and entertainment for adults and children.

All sorts of sport, games and relaxation facilities are available for the dynamic and fun-loving guests of all ages:-

• Indoor heated swimming pool and bar
• Indoor squash court
• Two floodlit soft tennis courts
• Beach volley
• Putting green
• Table tennis
• Swimming pool and paddle pool for children
• Snooker room
• Video games room
• Mountain-bike centre with organized tours
• Mini gym with latest equipment
• Exercise area for aerobics
• Sauna
• Steambath
• Jacuzzi hydromassage
• Massage room