The Donkeys continue to enjoy a cordial relationship with their hosts Shaw Cross ARLFC, on a 'hot water for beer' basis. To assist in keeping both parties happy, Donkeys are requested to drink more vigorously and Shaw Cross are requested to stop serving hot water from the John Smiths pump at the bar.

Kit. Continued thanks to the Environment Agency for the continued use of the green and purple kit. It's getting short in places various pieces missing - if you find any please return to Tim Huntley, the Donkeys reluctant kitman.

The Donkeys are proud owners of their own match ball, cones and tags, which is better going than Leeds United at the moment.

Negotiations are at an advanced stage way with Chris Terry' s 'Special Branch' landscaping contractors for a new lightweight 'summer' kit, design and colours etc to be decided.

Finance. The Donkeys remain solvent with Cris Tout having custody of the match fees tin which contained about £50 at the last reckoning (much of which is due to Cris anyway for his purchase of Tags.) Nevertheless, debt free and with a few benevolent benefactors amongst the ranks finance to achieve what we aspire to isn't a problem.

Website. A triumph of technology, the Donkeys much admired website has been an invaluable communications and publicity tool, projecting a professional image that we cant possibly live up to. Well done, Cris Tout.

Logo. Ben Waite -Wright originated the scary 'braying donkey' logo, and is working on an even more sinister 'update' as we speak, guaranteed to frighten small children.

Cris and Gaz are still researching and pricing untold Donkey related commercial tat, starting with car stickers. Once the revised logo is available, watch this space (in fact don’t, it wont change until season 2004 ends) but expect merchandise to become available during 2004.

Three 'full contact' fixtures completed during 2003:-

St Helens Stickmen (at Pilkington Recs)

Wigan Web Warriors (at Donkey Sanctuary, Shaw Cross)

Hunslet Supporters (Donkey Sanctuary)

All losses, but worthwhile nevertheless.

Five 'Tag' fixtures within IMBRL Yorkshire Tag League completed during 2003 :-

Castleford Aybertigers (home - won)

Bradford Replacements (away at Dudley Hill - won)

Leeds Lost Loiners 'B' (home - lost)

Leeds Lost Loiners 'A' (away at Morley RUFC - lost)

Halifax Scratchingshed (home - won)

Outcome being third in the league table of six, behind the two vastly experienced Leeds teams, a highly creditable and respectable result..

IMBRL Tag Tournament (15 clubs represented) 16^th October 2003

Wins in the group stage and quarter final (over Hunslet), defeated semi finalists (beaten by Wakefield Webcats after extra time.)

The Donkeys have never 'cried off' a fixture. Cried during and after one, possibly, but never cried off one.

All fixtures have something of a match report under (somewhat controversially) 'fixtures' on the heavywoollendonkeys.co.uk website.

The HWD 'brand' is well known round the RL community, RL internet sites and especially well favoured by the teams that have played us.

Injuries. Mercifully, no significant long term injuries over and above Cris's disclocated fingers, Robs cracked ribs, Si's wrist, Tim Hardcastle's groin and Tim Huntley's grazed knees (!). Gotta watch those knees…

Thanks to the Donkeys Head Coach, Tim Hardcastle, whose record speaks for itself.

A total of 34 Donkeys turned out for Thursday night touch and pass (plus a few 'joiners in') of which a total of 25 Donkeys played either full contact or tag fixtures. In no specific order, the roll of honour was:-

1 Johnny Perks

2 Chris Perks

3 Gaz Clarkson

4 Rob Castlehouse

5 Ben Waite-Wright

6 Chris Terry

7 Dean Robinson

8 Tim Wilkinson

9 Paul Hancock

10 Peter Jamieson

11 TimHuntley

12 Cris Tout

13 Tim Hardcastle

14 Mike Howes

15 Si Alvy

16 Si Kerr

17 Mark Lockwood

18 Tony Grundy

19 Grant Cooper

20 Dave Auty

21 Mark Willans

22 James Bell (Shaw Cross under 14 lad)

23 Steve Crawshaw

24 Kev Bell (Shaw Cross under 14 coach)

25 Mirfield Gus

26 Glen West

27 Tom (Glens fast mate)

28 Matthew Kemp

29 Phil Downsborough

30 Matt Hardcastle (travelling reserve)

31 Neil Gillan

32 Alan Mcrae

33 Ian Thynne

34 Graham Jack

Many of the 2003 roster have not been seen for sometime, presumed dead, missing in action or signed for Dewsbury Rams. One or two others may not be seen much, if at all, next year due to old age and general deterioration, work commitments and other grown up type reasons. A recruitment drive in spring 2004 would complement the existing roster, which is further depleted during the BARLA season as several Donkeys also play for our feeder club, Mirfield.

An audacious attempt to lure Johnny Wilkinson to the Donkey Sanctuary to switch codes on a 'pie, pint and all the Bombay mix you can eat' contract has been abandoned. At least it has been until he gets his mind right and concentrates on lightening up a bit and having a glass or two of ale in the bar after training, instead of boring everyone rigid kicking goals and winning stuff. "That 'aint the right way to play, Johnny, and until then you can forget a career with the Donkeys" a spokesman said earlier today.

Attempts to get Queen's Ian and a Donkeys fixture to coincide on the same day have also been abandoned in favour of tracking down Lord Lucan and seeing if Ian's boots fit him, instead.

Gaz has proposals for recruiting in the Heavy Woollen area through various (cheap, if not cheap then free) media possibilities.

As Social RL continues to thrive and grow prospects for future fixtures looks good.

Proposals already received/pending for full contact games with St Helens Stickmen, Wigan Web Warriors, Leeds Lost Loiners, Bradford Replacements, Hunslet Supporters, Warrington and Leeds Akademiks Legends, and Tag against Castleford Aybertigers and Leeds Lost Loiners (13 a side Tag.) No doubt many others around the corner.

It might be worthwhile working out a rough relaxed 'fixture list' for 2004 during the off season.

Donkey 9s - the prospect of hosting a Tag 9s tournament (although not in conflict with the IMBRL event) has been raised. This would be a nice gesture to Shaw Cross ARLFC, filling their bar and publicity wise, especially if a Shaw Cross (junior?) team was to be invited to enter.

This would need a nominated project manager. Any volunteers?!

France - beach Rugby League near Marseilles and/or Lezignan 9s next autumn are distant prospects, but if we are seriously considering them then enquiries can be made with the various contacts we have to investigate further. Could we raise 10 definate starters?

The massive success at Tag RL prompts the question as to whether the Donkeys should look to open a Morris Dancing section.

Voted by Donkeys Life President and Head Coach at a glittering presentation ceremony at the Palace, Leeds on 17^th November 2003. For approach, Donkey attitude and overall contribution to the club on and off the field, the Golden Carrot awarded to - Gaz Clarkson

Gentlemen, a successful first season to say the least!

Congratulations to Donkeys one and all, Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year and here's to another step along the road to Rugby League's world domination in 2004.

Tim Wilkinson

Life President - Heavy Woollen Donkeys RLFC

December 2003