Date of Birth

10 Feb 1976 (Lincoln)

Height

5ft 11

Weight

Best part of 14st

Position

2nd Row (Ntl scrum half & centre)

Nickname

The Dog Faced Gremlin (apparently Clarkson)

Team

Batley Bulldogs

Player

Carl Gibson (the reason I took up the sport)

Favourite Pie

Gingsters Cheese & Onion (saw me through 3 yrs of Uni)

Donkey Rating

100% Donkey

First touched a rugby ball on the scrub land at the scoreboard at Mount Pleasent when I was nine. My dad soon took me to play for Batley Boys as watching me play football bored him. Started my days on the wing then full back and eventually hooker. I can still remember playing in the same side as Dean Lawford and gettin' 7 shades kicked out of me by Adrian Flynn ( who was I swear bigger than my dad at 11yrs old and had a thicker beard ). Continued with the Boys till about 15 and had slipped out of the sport by the age of 16 due to discovering beer, cigs and women all in the same year. Returned in my 2nd year at Uni (Notts Trent) and played on the wing in the Midlands Student R.L. champion side for the next 2 years.

After uni, shift work and 5yrs of beer and cigs prevented me from playing. Got back into it 3yrs ago with the then NTL side. Enjoyed the Hook and Illingworth games so much I decided I had to get back into it. I'm now playing 2nd row for Mirfield but I am still very Donkey.

Date of Birth

12 March 1966

Height

6'0"

Weight

11st 2lbs when fully wetted.

Position

Hopefully upright. (Wing or something similar?)

Nickname

Not really got one amongst present company though Touty may recall the name SuperDave from past heavy woollen Sunday morning hangover footy. Called many other names though I'm not usually present.

Team

Dewsbury Rams

Player

For his professionalism and glittering career: Shayne Williams.

Favourite Pie

Shayne ate it..... and many, many, more.

Donkey Rating

6-7 on the slide fast as the age clock is near to ticking over

Date of Birth

4th March 1978

Height

5'11"

Weight

12st

Position

Centre/2nd Row/Loose Forward

Nickname

Gaz or Clarky but will answer to almost anything

Team

Batley Bulldogs

Players

Mike Booth - Batley Captain and stand off/loose forward in the mid 1990s for his no thrills, no nosense approach. Mick Cameron - Batley 2nd Row/Loose forward, same period. What a tackling machine.

Favourite Pie

Chicken Pie followed by Mr Kiplings Apple and Blackberry

Donkey Rating

6 (I think???)

About me: I was introduced to rugby league back in the early 1990's by a promising 2nd row forward who often identifies himself as Dog Faced Gremlin. After many seasons of torture and turmoil at the Mount I finally learned how to enjoy the game. Although I was born in Dewsbury and now reside in Dewsbury I will always be a Gallant Youth.

My playing experience is limited. In fact very limited as I have never actually played a proper game of rugby.

Date of Birth

8th April 1962

Height

5'9"

Weight

14st or so

Position

Full back these days but at some stage or other I've played every position except prop (and I’m quite happy not to complete the set).

Nickname

Hank

Team

Leeds Rhinos

Player

i) past Les Dyl ii)present(ish) Laurie Daley

Favourite Pie

The meat & ‘tatie at Brentford FC. A feast in pastry and the quicker the Broncos get back there the better.

Donkey Rating

5. Can play the game but have to keep going for a lie down to recover

History: Played RL at middle school for 2 years then an enforced change to ra ra for 3 years at high school before 1st retiring at the age of 16. Fell in love with Leeds (my local team) during the 70’s as my mum & dad would never let me go to footy but let me go to rugby games unaccompanied which is great when your 13. Highlights were going to Wembley for the back to back Challenge Cup wins, especially the comeback to beat Saints in the '78 final - remember that outrageous Kevin Dick try, I got drunk on a can of McKewans Export on the coach on the way home (I was only 16). Next played at college but retired again in 1985. Drifted away from the game whilst remaining aware that Leeds still weren’t winning anything. Bumped into T-Dub the night before the ’94 Challenge Cup semi against Saints and he persuaded me to go with him and I fell in love all over again (with Leeds and the game, not T-Dub). Been involved ever since and view the world entirely through blue & amber tinted glasses and remain as blindly optimistic about the Rhino’s chances of actually winning something despite history, and the team’s consistent efforts to prove me wrong. In 1998 I was again tempted out of retirement by getting roped into a game at work for the EA Otters. Ended up playing 2nd row (which was the other position I’d never played before) and had no impact on the game at all. However it had whetted the appetite and when I drifted down to watch the ntl Lambs I was not wholly surprised to end up playing the final quarter. Played for them and the EA Meercats (it’s not only Super League where re-branding occurs) ever since. Even got roped into a charity game of onion where T-Dub and I scored all our sides points which is I believe traditional on such cross code occasions. The Rhinos out of character cup win in ’99 (when we played in proper ‘oops, see below) should be the highlight of recent years, and I did celebrate with considerably more than 1 can of McKewans, but three other occasions stand out more. The 1st is the 2000 Challenge Cup final, we may have lost to the Bulls but what a party in Edinburgh that night, can we have the final there every year please? The other two are typical Leeds, wonderfully glorious without actually amounting to anything more substantial, but what the hell. i) Paul Sterling’s length of the field try in the victory over Adelaide in the World Challenge thingy in ‘96 or ’97 (I've still got a scar to remind me). ii) Whupping Saints by 70-odd to not-very-many on a beautiful warm evening at Headingley in May 2001 playing beautiful fluid and uninhibited attacking rugby and who cares that Saints had been on the sauce all week celebrating their recent Challenge Cup win. At the time Saints were also the reigning Super League & World Club Champions and I reckoned that like in boxing we should have got all their titles!

Fav. myther: "Leeds'll win nowt 'til they go back to playing in proper 'oops. My god they’ve got us playing in star jumpers / star trek uniforms / Swedish footy shirts (delete depending on the season). We’ve our own unique brand, which we should exploit. I mean you don’t find Arsenal suddenly deciding that they’ll play in red & white polka dots ‘coz whilst the design’s changed the colours are traditional. Just to play in blue and yellow means we look like Warrington and look like Warrington play like Warrington that’s what I say." I can carry on in this vein at very great length to anyone who’ll listen but will shut up if you get me a Guinness Extra Cold.

Full Name

Timothy Richard Maureen Hardcastle

Date of Birth

22 November 1961 BC

Height

knee high to a grasshopper, 5 ft 8 in

Weight

festively plump, always celebrate every festival, whatever the religion/reason. so always 15st, but working on it

Position

preferably between two blondes who .... ah !! not that sort, erm.. in my mind I am a rampaging, ball-handling loose forward, but in reality I am more of a slow half-back who gives defence-splitting forward passes to where players should be, rather than where they are !!

Nickname

no nickname known of, but as I'm now Reffing , I'm sure I'll be getting several VERY soon !!

Team

Illingworth, then every other RL team on the entire planet

Favourite Player

Too many to list, I've been watching/playing since the Challange cup final was played in the Collosium, and my first game was the cross-channel game between Gaul and Brigantium , where Caractacus scored a length of the field try... If I was put on the spot, I'd have to say Kevin Ward, former Cas prop. Big, ugly, brave as f**k, and not a bad ball-handler.

Favourite Pie

Greggs chicken pasty

Donkey Rating

probably a 5 or 6

how long have you got ?? started age 15, played at Illingworth until aged 38. In between had 1/2 a season with the A team at Thrum Hall, also played a game for Batley A, and made the dizzy heights of the Keighley (pre-Cougars) first team. Scored a try in a REAL RL 2nd division game, and "met" Dean Bell's elbow playing for Halifax League select against the '83 touring Maori team.

Date of Birth

2nd November 1972

Height

6'1

Weight

15st

Position

Prop

Nickname

Fat Lad

Team

Dewsbury Rams

Favourite Pie

Any, I love ‘em!

Donkey Rating

6 or 7

Played Rugby League at school mainly and retired when I left at the tender age of 16 (Was I really 16? seem such a far and distant memory now!). My claim to Rugby League fame is I played against Francis Cumins and Francis Maloney in Heavy Wollen Schools final. Need I add that we were hammered!

Date of Birth

6th November 1967

Height

6'2"

Weight

13 Stone (or there abouts)

Position

I always seem to end up playing second row (still, it makes me look handsome ... compared to a props arse that is!).

Nickname

Sometimes known as moth (it's a long story involving my favourite childhood T-shirt)

Team

Leeds

Favourite Player

Keith Senior (I don't know how you could ever have doubted him T-Dub!)

Favourite Pie

Partial to a nice apple pie, eaten with some strong cheddar (trust me, it's worth trying). Otherwise the Chicken Tikka pie I had at the Commonwealth Games (Man City's new ground) takes some beating.

Donkey Rating

6-8 depending on how I'm feeling.

Looks like I'm going to have to admit to being a southerner, born and raised in the wilds of Hertfordshire without the benefit of street lights. Lived in Yorkshire since I was 18 though, so I'm claiming residence.

Played Union for seven years at school, but don't remember ever touching the ball). Lured into playing League by Messrs Wilkinson and Hancock (aka T-Dub & Glitzy)under the guise of "why not come along for a bit of a run around and some excercise...you won't be expected to play a game". Ended up playing the last 5 games for the Lambs/Meercats. No tries, but the odd decent tackle.

Date of Birth

1st June 1973

Height

5'10"

Weight

12st 6lb

Position

Winger

Nickname

Gazza

Team

Dewsbury Rams

Favourite Pie

Chicken & Mushroom

Donkey Rating

5 or 6

Never played rugby League at any level until I was introduced to the Heavy Wollen Donkeys. Was forced to play Kick and Clap at school as they don't play Rugby League at Eton College. Have been a RL fan for about 5 years now and support my local team the Dewsbury Rams.

Date of Birth

05 Feb 1970

Height

6ft 5in

Weight

16st ish

Position

Wherever I get hurt the least

Nickname

JAM

Team

I don't follow egg chasers

Donkey Rating

100% Donkey (or is that total Ass)

Founder member of ntl Lambs. One of the surving few of the battle of Wetherby. I managed to get off the field with most of my limbs. Scouser and 100% football, Egg chasing is totally alien to me, which is why I'm shite at it. Been living in Yorkshire now for 14 years so thought I'd better take up a local sport with the yokels.

Date of Birth

10th January 1973

Height

5' 9"

Weight

11st

Position

Water Carrier

Nickname

Si, Diego

Team

Dewsbury Rams

Favourite Pie

Pie n Peas from Wheldon Road

Donkey Rating

eee-aww, eee-aww!

Started my Rugby career playing the 'Kick and Clap' version when I was 6. I played against the Kiwis when I was 7 in a friendly match at Aranui Park, Christchurch, New Zealand...... What? Ok, so I lived their and it was a PE lesson! Still counts in my book though! After switching codes for a large fee (well, the airfare) I played RL in UK PE lessons. Was never good enough or interested enough to make the School Team. Retired at 16 and recently made my comeback with the Heavy Wollen Donkeys after reaching the BIG 30! My Rugby League claim to fame is David Ward (Then Leeds coach) gave me and a mate a lift home after we missed the supporters coach due to a few too many pints after a match between the Mighty Rams and Whinos. Watched my first RL match at Crown Flatt after jumping over the fence in 1984.

Date of Birth

18th November 1975

Height

5'11" and a bit

Weight

75Kg, about 11 1/2 stone

Position

Wing, or anywhere else out of the way of painful looking tackles

Nickname

Locky, Young Marky

Team

Leeds Rhinos, GB, England, anyone who's playing the Bulls

Favourite Pie

Never a big pie fan, but I'm quite partial to a pint of cider and a packet of cheese and onion crisps

Donkey Rating

5

From Leeds originally, but I didn't get into watching RL until I was my mid 20's, when Glitzy invited me along to a Festive Challenge match at Headingly. Since then I've been a keen follower of the greatest sport on Earth. Never been blessed with great sporting ability, the comment best describing me is "well at least he trys....."