As they are actually eels.
You see, these deep sea denizens aren't content with lording over three quarters of the planet, and being able to infilitrate the other quarter through rivers and such, no they are intent on taking over the world!!! Firstly, demented octopi have snuck into many homes under the guise of a harmless vegetables. Then, squid have got into some homes posing as useful electrical equipment. Flounders also attempted, but, being not quite so deep-sea, failed. Instead they ended up having MUD, no, wait, that's mud trodden into their scales and being rained on- just out of reach of inside a home. And, now, goldfish.
Have I not told you about goldfish? Well, here goes...
They're spying on us. These cheap, low-maintenance pets are keeping tabs on human activity for their deep-sea cousins. These creatures have a veiw of humans unparallelled by any other creature. They sit in their little goldfish bowls, watching, watching, perfectly adapted to their task in more than one way:
They don't have eyelids- so they never miss a blink of the action.
Their flippers are highly versitile, for easy manouevering into the right position to send and recieve calls with their radar fin.
Yep, you did read that right, radar fin. So they can send and recieve calls from other fish far away.
They have a 3 second memory- all they need to beam news of suspicious human activity to other fish, and enough not to get crowded down with details about bizarre human behaviour.
You think this is odd? You think I am lying? I share the truth here!! Why, out of all the pets available in the world, would people choose a goldfish? Why not a dog? Or a ferret? Or a donkey? Or even a piece of cheese? Why a goldfish? Because in these places where you go to purchase goldfish, there are often large numbers of the creatures, this massed attack of goldfish-thought-beams from their radar fins can confuse a human mind and actually persuade them to contemplate letting a goldfish into their homes.
