Through and Off …the back and out of the race.

Race reports following the escapades of the Yorkies 3^rd and 4^th Cats

The Hammer and The Hippo clean up with Persil

Croft Park, Bridlington RR - 20-04-04

You’d hardly expect British athletes preparing for the Olympics turning up to your local sporting event for a bit of practice. However, Chris Newton (Team Persil) who is a strong contender for an Olympic track medal decided that he needed a Tuesday evening work out and realised that the best place to do this would be the Croft Park Circuit Race near Darlington. No doubt he told the media that he chose to ride at Croft because he lives around the corner but those of us in the sport know that his real agenda was to race against The Hammer and The Hippo. Clearly, Mr Newton had been impressed by the innovative track training techniques used by The Hippo at the Manchester Velodrome a few weeks earlier (see Race Report 6) and wanted to race against the Great Coaching Master as part of his preparation for Athens.

The races at Croft operate on a handicap basis with The Hammer and The Hippo heading off in the second of four groups. When Mr Newton takes part he is made to form his own fifth group which is set off some time after the scratch group. So by the time Mr Newton was released from the traps The Hammer and The Hippo had already taken a lap from him. Nevertheless, Mr Newton probably expected to ride straight through and off the front of The Hammer and Hippo’s group when he caught them up but he had failed to account for the dogged determination of the slower riders. Once The Hammer and The Hippo had caught Mr Newton’s wheel they stuck to it like glue and the resulting inertia meant that Mr Newton was unable to generate the speed necessary to catch the scratch group. But even worse was to follow for Mr Newton. In an act of ultimate humiliation he found himself being the filling in a Yorkie ‘through and off’ sandwich. Immediately The Hammer and The Hippo started working the old psychological tricks. “Did you arrive late for the start?...Have you done through and off before – don’t worry we’ll keep you straight... we know you’re only a novice but you’re gonna have to work harder…. That’s a nice top, did you get it from probikekit - those 3 bands on the sleeve are a nice touch….Didn’t I see that bike on e-bay last week” and of course … “Aren’t you Bradley Wiggins?”

To save his blushes, Mr Newton sat up for the first prime realising that he would be wasting his time trying to out-sprint the superior power of the Yorkies. As the line approached The Hippo lead out The Hammer who claimed the £5 prize leaving the The Hippo to bag a few prime points in third place. Once regrouped, Newton, Hammer and Hippo kept the pace high as they drove on toward the next prime. This time The Hammer lead out The Hippo as the crowd gasped in awe at team work on a par with Lance’s US Postal Racing Team. With two laps to go 8 scratch riders finally made contact with Newton, Hammer and Hippo with 4 managing to break off the front to clean up the prize money. The Hippo and The Hammer rode home in a respectable 8^th and 9^th spot respectively. Mr Newton seemed to ‘blow’ on the last lap, obviously physically drained from the relentless tempo of The Hammer. However, Mr Newton’s never give up attitude could serve the Yorkies well so The Hippo approached him with an offer to transfer from Team Persil – which he flatly declined. We suspect that he didn’t fancy playing second fiddle to The Saint.

The weekend also saw The Saint and The Hammer performing well in atrocious conditions at the Bridlington RR. As is becoming his trademark move, The Saint jumped off the pack at the end of the first lap in an attempt to Time Trial his way to victory. But as usual he took a small group of the stronger riders with him and in an all too familiar story lost out in the sprint for the line coming across in 3^rd. The Hammer brought the second group home not too far behind. The Saint has declined The Hippo’s offer of some sprint training when he heard that it involved eating lots of pies to “bulk him-up”.