We’re up and we’re pedalling again… the 2005 season is now in full flow and the Yorkies are already flying high cleaning up th

Through and off …..the back and out of the race (again)

Road Racing exploits of the Yorkies BC, TLI and LVRC riders (but no 1^st cats yet)

March 2005. Clayton Velo RR, Sunderland Clarion RR and Wansbeck Pursuit….picking up where we left off last season

Those of you that followed this column last year know that the Yorkies’ Road Racing (RR) exploits are similar to the capers of Laurel and Hardy. This year will be no different if the opening few races are anything to go by. Hammer Houghton starts this season brimming with the confidence of a 3rd cat rider as he managed to gain 4th spot his last race of last season - the Doncaster Road Race for 4th cats. There was utter carnage in the wake of Hammer Houghton’s sprint - check out http://www.doncasterwheelers.org.uk (2004 road race and the photo of The Crash). The Hammer claims he had ‘nothing to do with the crash’ but his ‘claims’ are likely to fall on deaf ears due to his history of official CTT warnings for dangerous time trialling. Let’s be honest, Hammer Houghton has elbowed more racers off their bikes than Ali’s fists knocked boxers to the canvass. Be warned, lock handle bars with Hammer ‘Lee Bowyer’ Houghton at your peril!

“The Hammer” in the thick of it – Picture courtesy of Doncaster Wheelers

The Hammer started his RR season at the Clayton Velo Spring Classic Handicap (Saturday, 26th of February) and I guess Kevin Dawson and the elite riders were quaking in their cleats as they lined up for the start. They need not have as The Hammer went off the back mid race, but he had a second chance to lock handlebars with the elite riders when they lapped him in the finishing straight. Despite being lapped The Hammer went eyeballs-out for the finishing line in an attempt to get himself in the finishing photo, but fortunately Dawson gave him a wide birth and eluded the Hammer elbow for the win.

A week later (Saturday, 5th March, 2005) The Hippo opened his road racing season at the Sunderland Clarion Spring Circuit Race (1/2/3/4/W; 40km) at the Hetton Lyons ‘slag heap’ Country Park. Last year the Hippo came 3rd overall in the 3 race handicap series but there would be no repeat this year as the event was ran as a scratch race. True to form The Hammer lead the charge for the opening few laps but soon the curse of Laurel and Hardy struck as he edged his way off the back of the pack and out of the race. The Hammer claimed that his legs had turned to jelly because he had caught virus like a real pro cyclist but actually his bottom bracket had come undone during the race causing his cranks and legs to jam solid. This left the 1st cats to secure a winning break which they held throughout the 25 lap race while The Hippo crawled over the line with the second group sprinting his way to a respectable 9th place out of 11 finishers.

The following week (Saturday, 12th March, 2005) The Hammer and Hippo tried their luck in the 70km Wansbeck Pursuit over a taxing course in Longhirst Northumberland. The Hippo’s fate was sealed before the start when his middle marker group contained 2nd cats. The Hippo gracefully exited the peloton on lap 3 of 6 while the Hammer held it together for 5 laps before being spat out at the start of lap 6. The Hammer ‘claims’ he completed the course but he was not listed on the results sheet so we have to assume that he climbed off or that The Laurel and Hardy curse now affects results sheets too. The Hippo arrived at the finish some days later out sprinting his break away group of 5 ‘off the back’ riders to a respectable 38th place out of 42 finishers.

A week later (Saturday, 19th March, 2005) The Hippo and Hammer were back at the slag heap for the second and final Sunderland Clarion Spring Circuit Race (1/2/3/4/W; 40km). The curse of Laurel and Hardy struck on lap 5 of 25 when The Hammer punctured and flew out of the pack like a burst balloon. The Hippo, now without his team mate, jumped off the front of the peloton with the only other rider that talks to him before the start of races. The Hippo and Tony ‘he pedals way too fast for us’ McCullough (Ferryhill Wheelers) gained the best part of 10 yards on the main field, holding this break for nearly 1 minute before being consumed back into mid pack obscurity where they saw out the rest of the race chatting merrily. Clearly, the only reason ‘Pedals too fast’ allowed The Hippo to join his break was to get a mention in this column, although he doesn’t realise that he now needs to be forthcoming with a citation fee (Tony could you make the cheque out for £5.00 to “Hippo’s Citation Service” and bring it to the next race).

In other news from the month of March, Sluggish Saint became Slippery Saint as he got in some tumbling practice for the road race season during the North Road Hard Riders 22.7 TT. Typically, he got up, remounted his bike, and despite lacerations and broken bones raced home in second place – “it is what Dave Lloyd would have expected” was Slippery’s post race comment– he’ll do anything to get his photo in Cycling Weekly. A few weeks later and Slippery was brought down to earth properly during the Tour of the Resevoir (Sunday, 20th of March, 2005) when he rolled out of the pack early race. Dean Downing eventually won – wasn’t he in The Tour of Lankawi? I wonder if Slippery will be entering easier races next month?