Through and Off …the back and out of the race.
Race reports following the escapades of the Yorkies 3rd and 4th Cats
(and the 2nd Cat too - to keep Near-Vet Saint happy)
Crashes at the Chevin -- did the Hippo take the Huff?
This column has certainly gone off the back over the last few months, what do you expect with the last report being number 13 (back in June). Rumours had abounded in local cycling circles that I had taken the huff and was no longer putting pen to paper because our Near Vet Webmaster had accused me of losing the Yorkies the team prize in the Yorkshire Ladies 25 Mile Time Trial. For the record I approached the team race as I always do when I could be the third count rider. I calculated how fast our first and second counts would ride (in this case Howitt the Hip and Mike "10 mile specialist" Youngson respectively) and then I adjust my race effort accordingly so that our average time would secure the team prize - I like to keep my suffering on the bike to an absolute minimum. Before the race Near Vet did mention that the team prize was awarded on the Bidlake rule. Apparently, this means that the time of the fastest third count rider is used in the team competition. However, as I had never heard of a Bidlake rule before I thought that Near Vet was pulling my leg in an attempt to get me to ride the whole race eye balls out - I only ride eye balls out for primes (providing money is at stake), final sprints and when passing Kimroy Photography. If I ever mange to reach the dizzy heights of a third count rider again I promise that I will use my large chain ring.
I also need to crush rumours that I have taken the huff because our Near Vet Webmaster is censoring my reports! which for the record is true. The JPEG of rider 127's official CTT warning which was dispatched to the Webmaster with Report 13 was not posted on our web site and some readers are questioning the authenticity of my reporting! someone called me Hippo Gilligan at the Pool Triangle the other week. In fact I've heard it said that it is more likely that the British government will find weapons of mass destruction in Iraq before YRC members will see rider 127's CTT warning. I also need to dispel rumours that I've taken the huff because no-one is reading the reports. Yes it is true that I had hoped that my race report column would have been a little more successful and that I would be the Yorkies answer to Tony Bell (without the cardiac problems). My dreams of postbags full of fan mail demanding signed photos of the Hippo and offers of employment from Cycling Weekly have not been realised and even cycling mad Hammer Houghton has stopped reading the column. Nevertheless, I am still in demand as our Near Vet Webmaster has been in touch requesting another instalment - no doubt because there has been a lull in time trial activity for him to report on.
And just to put the record straight…my race reporting ceased because of low morale following a disastrous Otley Town Centre race in June – the emotional wounds are still raw and reopened every time I see the photos of me climbing off mid race which were maliciously posted on our web on our web site to undermine my confidence. I have finally pinpointed the source of the photo’s to John ‘Mr (not so) Courteous’ Blomley and I pledge that I will be seeking my revenge. Anyway, it is time to move on so here, at last, is the Otley Town Centre race report as seen from (well behind) the peloton.
The Hippo's ultimate goal since taking up competitive cycling in 2002 was to win gold in the 2008 Beijing Olympics and he realised that the Otley Town Centre race was his chance to impress the talent spotters from the Trade Teams or the BC World Class Performance Plan. The Yorkies had 3 riders in the race, Russell "Hasty" Hepton, Steve "Hammer" Houghton and Mark "Hippo" Johnson and as usual the less experienced Yorkies (Hammer and Hippo) were in the thick of the action at the back of the race. "Hasty" Hepton had enough experience to know to keep well away from them.
The Hippo's demise started well before the race when he was caught up in a motor vehicle crash en-route to the event. By the time he finally arrived in Otley, 10 minutes before the race, he was rather flustered and he had only just managed to get his race numbers pinned on when the riders were called to the start line. The Hippo’s second crash of the evening occurred 3 pedal revolutions after the race began when a rider, who was trying to clip in to his pedals, veered into The Hippo’s racing line. The poor rider first bounced off the Hippo and then off the tarmac causing a ripple of falling bikes in a domino effect across the road. The Hippo and Hammer quickly fled the scene while the crowd gasped in awe at the Laurel and Hardy capers and Eurosport commentator Mike Smith howled across the PA There's been a crash and the Yorkshire Road Club riders seem to be in the thick of it.
This was not how The Hammer and the Hippo had visualised their race - they were off the back in the first 50 yards and it was eyeballs out as they tried to regain contact with the pack who had sped away up the first hill. By the time the Yorkies caught up with the last wheel, the peloton was flying off the Chevin and back into the home straight at 40 mph for the start of the second lap. Third and 4th cat riders aren’t used to large crowds of cheering spectators or racing at 40 mph, so as we waved at friends and relatives in the home straight it was inevitable that some of us would over cook the corner. Soon riders were mounting kerbs and launching themselves head-first into the crowd barriers with spectators being scattered across the length and breadth of Otley. Somehow the Hammer and Hippo managed to stay upright to pick their way through the chaos but by the time they cleared the carnage they once again found themselves off the back of the pack and chasing eyeballs out up the hill.
By now The Hippo was an emotional and physical wreck and the thought of another 15 laps was too much to bear. So he gently eased himself off the back of the pack but rather than climbing off he decided to keep riding the circuit knowing that spectators who arrived late may mistake him for being off the front rather than off the back. Eventually, the commissaire caught up with his antics and demanded that he withdrew from the race. The Hammer managed to regain his composure and he finished the race in the bunch with Hasty Hepton, who had been oblivious to the earlier race incidents having sensibly kept himself toward the front of the pack. So once again no BC race points for the Yorkies but at least they had gained valuable race experience. However, the post race discussions in the bars and taverns around Otley centred on one crucial question Would the Hippo ever manage to bring himself to road race again?