DISCLAIMER:
See
A/N: Ah, MORE
pranks… also, BIG thanks to
Draco664 for
allowing me to use a couple of his pranks and twist both the methods
and the
results!
SPECIAL
DISCLAIMER:
It is perfectly safe to eat or drink
something or be in a library or other public place while reading this
chapter. What, don’t you trust me?
CHAPTER 38: APRIL FOOL’S DAY
Ne sis patruus mihi. Don’t get stern with me. –Horace, Sermones (2.3.88)
That afternoon in the
Slytherin
common room, Harry was with the others (the Slytherins had basically
“granted”
him carte blanche access to his
common room as thanks for supporting them), plotting how to royally
prank Fred
and George, since the prank contest ended on April Fool’s Day (which
was their
birthday, surprisingly enough). Harry was trying to think of something
devious,
but seeing as he had a Muggle-raised sense of humor, he often needed
Draco and
Blaise to think of more hilarious things that wizards would be familiar
with.
Suddenly, the entrance wall to the common room opened to reveal Snape.
All the
Slytherins quieted down as he walked in, and some of them went to get
their
fellow Housemates.
As all the Slytherins gathered and the wall sealed itself behind Snape,
the
Potions Master began his speech. "Students of Slytherin, a new
advancement
has been made in the history of Potions. Thanks to our former student
Draco
Malfoy-" Draco-as-Roy twitched a little with anticipation, "-I have
been able to brew a new potion that allows complete immunity against a
basilisk's glare, and best of all, it doesn't count as Dark Magic."
There were excited murmurs and even applause as Snape nodded with a
smile.
"Mister Malfoy, although away from Hogwarts for the time being, has
been
able to destroy Riddle's base in that explosion last night, for the
most part
by himself. Mister Potter over here-" and everyone looked at Harry now
"-was able to supply the texts from his family vault."
There was more applause for Draco and Harry this time, and Harry smiled
a
little. With a snap of his fingers, Snape summoned several house- elves
with
trays, each with a hundred vials. "The potion, which I call the
Anti-Basilisk Glare Solution, will protect you for life, with only
about 50 milliliters.
It takes 24 hours to work fully, and then you're all set for life."
As they each took a vial, they opened it and drank. In Harry's opinion,
it
tasted like a strange combination between grass and lemon.
"These are dark times," Snape continued after they all downed their
own portion. "We must stay strong and determined. Slytherins are
survivors, no matter what. Do not worry about any friends you might
have in
other Houses, since some will be slipped into their food. Samples will
also be
sent to your families. This must be kept a secret for the time being,
although
if and when I receive some sort of acclaim for this discovery, you are
all
invited." There was some laughter at this, and Snape left along with
the
house elves.
As all the talk died off, the Neo-Marauders went back to their plotting.
~*~*~*~
Later that night, Ginny was enjoying a leisurely bath in the prefect's
bathroom. She smirked when she remembered how it was "closed for
renovation" for the Gryffindor shower prank. With the help of the other
non-Gryffindor prefects, who were all sympathetic to Harry, she made it
look as
though it was all closed down. They had all been enjoying a different
leisurely
bath that morning while the Gryffindors fell victim to the "fixed"
showers.
She swam a couple of laps and even transformed into a tiger while
enjoying the
water. From the side, Luna commented how she was now a tiger fish.
Ginny laughed at that, thinking of Harry as a lionfish. Or perhaps as a
phoenix
fish, if there was such a thing.
Ginny was plotting a way to get Fleur involved in the war against the
“Harry-haters.” The young French witch had become silent and isolated
after
Bill's torture by the Cruciatus Curse. Seducing and publicly
humiliating some
male enemies like Michael Corner were the possibilities that occurred
to her
the most.
One night, before Bill and Charlie got tortured, Fleur was telling
Ginny tricks
to grab the boyfriend's attention, "and maybe more." Ginny also saw
deep down that Fleur had a gigantic crush on Bill from the moment she
saw him.
Fleur even confessed that sometimes, she just wanted to drag Bill to
the
nearest quiet spot, secure and silence the spot, rip off her clothes
and
"get the party started."
Ginny blushed at the thought of using some of those tricks on Harry. A
devious
smile with the "come here" gesture, loose clothes with emphasis on
the more intimate regions, etc... Ginny blushed even more at the
thought of
Harry's reactions and what he would be like, and as she calmly floated
on the
water's surface, she closed her eyes and let her imagination take
flight.
"Ginny," Luna called to her. "It's getting late."
"Thanks, Luna," she called back, opening her eyes. She swam to the
side, climbed out, and walked to the changing rooms as she dried
herself off.
Yes, she thought, Fleur would definitely be a good weapon, especially
recalling
how lots of boys at Hogwarts had watched her every move during the
Triwizard
Tournament.
~*~*~*~
Draco walked up to the Headmaster's office before realizing that he
could just
use his amulet, especially since he didn't know the current password.
Disappearing into the shadows, he used Seth to appear right into
Dumbledore's
office.
There was a lot of noise as Draco materialized in Dumbledore's office.
Fawkes
trilled a surprise, and the portraits mumbled worriedly.
Dumbledore calmly looked up from a book he was reading. "Hello, Mr.
Serpenfils," he said neutrally. "I assume you got in the way you did
because you didn't know the password?"
"Precisely," Draco said, casting off his "Roy" disguise and
looking as his usual self. "Anyway, I want to let you know what
happened
last night at Riddle's base..."
Using the Pensieve, Draco projected his memory to the entire office. By
the end
of it, Dumbledore's eyes were twinkling at record levels while Fawkes
was
singing ecstatically. "Congratulations, Draco. A hundred points to
Slytherin."
"Do you think this information should be revealed to the public?"
Draco asked. "They don't know that I'm here in disguise."
"Not yet, Draco, we must be patient. Not until we've uprooted any
Voldemort sympathizers in the other Houses."
"I understand. I just wanted to show them all that Harry is innocent so
I
can laugh in their faces."
"I'm sure you do, Draco," Dumbledore chided him. "Anyway, it's
getting late."
"I understand, sir." Taking out his amulet again, he vanished into
the Slytherin common rooms.
~*~*~*~
As each hour of each day passed, Harry could feel his anger for his
enemies
among the students mounting. However, just to look good in comparison,
he
stopped with the pranks for a few days, feeling that he had
sufficiently
punished them, or at least for the time being.
Part of his resolution to stay calm came from when he was in the
library and he
met the Ravenclaws in his year who were still on his side, including
Terry
Boot, Padma Patil, Lisa Turpin, Anthony Goldstein, and others. Sensing
the
trouble, they convinced him to stay calm and let the “Harry-haters” act
stupid.
"I'm sorry," Harry said, "But I don't see the point in
that."
"Harry, before you started going to Hogwarts, did you ever learn about
Ghandi?" Padma asked him.
Harry nodded. "Yeah, something about nonviolence and not striking
back."
Padma nodded. "The one and the same. Think of it this way: Person A
attacks Person B. Person B stands his ground and doesn't strike back.
By the
end of the whole battle, when A is proven wrong, who looks like the
victim and
who looks stupid and violent?"
"B?"
"Exactly. In your situation, if your enemies keep this up, the shame
they'll suffer when their proven wrong will be in itself to punish
them." (1)
"I see what you mean, Padma. However, if I've survived Voldemort's
every
attempt to kill me, I should have no problem defending myself against
these
other students."
"That's one way of putting it."
Just then, Judy Arnold walked in. She glared at Harry, and just to irk
her, he
waved and grinned in return.
"Oh look, if it isn't the new Slytherin prince," Michael Corner
sneered from behind him. Harry whipped his head around, and went for
his wand
when corner spat out another nasty comment. "I don't know what you're
trying to pull on my girlfriend, but I've got your number, you slimy
little
bastard-"
"MICHAEL CORNER!" Madam Pince bellowed from right behind him,
causing them all to jump. Harry was just wondering how she appeared
like that
when she continued to scold Corner in front of the entire library.
"First
of all, I won't tolerate your hypocrisy of judging others' parents when
your
own leave much to be desired; I was here when Mr. Potter's parents were
still
students, and they were far more noble and honorable than you! And for
another
thing, I won't tolerate your foul language in my library either! You're
banned
from the library for a week, and that means nobody trying to check out
books
for you either, especially not your girlfriend! Now get out before I
use a
Scourging Charm to wash out your mouth!"
Corner's face kept switching between white and red, and as silence
fell, he ran
out as Pince eyed him like the vulture she often resembled. In a few
moments,
everyone went back to what they were doing.
"Er, thanks," Harry said, a little confused as the Ravenclaws
exchanged looks. Often, Pince challenged students rather than defended
them.
"Actually, I needed a reason to say that," Pince said neutrally.
"And before you ask, yes, I knew your parents. Both of them were rather
frequent visitors, and as far as typical Hogwarts students go, they
caused
little, if any, problems at all."
"Hm, you learn something new everyday," Harry commented.
Pince's mouth twitched a little as though she wanted to smile,
but like
McGonagall, she was good at disguising her emotions. "Being the
librarian,
I live by those words." With a nod, she walked off.
All the Ravenclaws at the table were staring at him in shock. Harry
shrugged.
"I seem to have this odd knack for doing things like that."
"Regardless of whether or not she knew your parents," Anthony
commented, "It's easy to see her dislike for prefects to go causing
trouble like that."
"I'm disgusted at Corner's behavior too," Harry responded. "How
could he just convince himself that I'm Dark?"
"After analyzing last year's blunders by the Ministry," Terry
explained, "I can see how they act. They don't want to believe
something's
true, and they want to be right so desperately that they convince
themselves
that what they believe in is true. The way Ron has just forgotten what
you've
done for everyone, it's because he makes up a new past for himself and
psychologically conditions himself into thinking that everything you've
done
has been an act or a sham or such. They keep going in this vicious
cycle,
getting so wound up in their beliefs." He then shook his head and
added,
"It's so deplorable, really."
"I couldn't agree more," Harry replied. "And I eagerly hope that
they get out of it soon."
~*~*~*~
The rest of March passed in a haze of studying, and all things
considered, it
was relatively peaceful at Hogwarts. The only moments of mischief were
when the
Neo-Marauders set up pranks to retaliate against any restless
“Harry-haters.”
The Wizarding world was divided on the matter regarding Harry Potter;
some
people kept their faith in him, and others didn't.
However, it was on the last day of the month that trouble was once
again
stirred up. During breakfast that morning, all the Slytherins
(including Harry
and Neville, since they were sitting there) broke out in neon green and
pink
hives, causing laughter from the rest of the hall. Madam Pomfrey was
rushed to
the Great Hall and was able to cure them all within a few minutes, but
the
experience was very painful. It didn't take a genius to know who was
responsible for it.
After telepathically conferring with Ginny, Harry and the other
Neo-Marauders
laid out their revenge. It was good timing, too, since the next day was
April
Fools Day. For pranksters, it was like a national holiday.
~*~*~*~
Susan Bones sniffed as she rolled over in her bed, and she left her arm
dangle
over the side, so her hand touched the grass.
Grass?
She bolted upright,
and looked
around, not expecting this strange sight at
all.
All of the students
from
Hufflepuff were still in their beds, but now on the Quidditch pitch in
the
chilly early April morning. As more and
more people woke up, everyone began to wonder and contemplate on the
situation.
Susan went over to the
gates of
the Quidditch pitch, but they were sealed shut; the Hufflepuffs were
locked
inside. The fact that they didn’t have
their wands on them didn’t help at all.
“Who knows what else
happened to
our beds?” a more naïve, younger Hufflepuff student wondered out loud.
That student
unwittingly doomed
them all by saying that.
~*~*~*~
Cho Chang grabbed her
blankets
closer to her, feeling colder by the sudden wind.
Wind?
She shot straight out
of bed, but
quickly stayed in the center of it when she realized exactly where she
was.
She, along with the
rest of
Ravenclaw House, was currently floating above the castle, in a wide
expanse
between the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw towers.
Their beds simply hovered in midair, not moving anywhere.
The other Ravenclaws
woke up, and
when they realized the predicament they were in, they all huddled in
their
beds, afraid to move at all. Even Cho
was rather nervous; she may have been the Ravenclaw Seeker, but she
wasn’t on
her faithful broomstick anymore. The
fact that they didn’t have their wands on them didn’t help at all.
“Who knows what else
happened to
our beds?” a more naïve, younger Ravenclaw student wondered out loud.
That student
unwittingly doomed
them all by saying that.
~*~*~*~
Blaise Zabini shifted
in bed,
trying to accommodate its rocking, and hung his hand over the side,
where he
felt the water.
Water?
He was upright in bed
now,
observing the scene in front of him. The
entire Slytherin House was now floating in the lake (and since it had
lost some
students to Voldemort, there was just enough room in the great big lake
to
accommodate them all). Blaise also mused
to himself that he was lucky not to have been half-asleep when he
touched the
water; he heard of a Muggle prank where by putting a sleeping person’s
hand in
a bowl of water, the victim accidentally wet his or her bed.
All of the Slytherins
eventually
woke up, catching onto the fact that they were definitely not
in their dormitories anymore.
The fact that they didn’t have their wands on them didn’t help
at all.
“Who knows what else
happened to
our beds?” a more naïve, younger Slytherin wondered out loud.
That student
unwittingly doomed
them all by saying that.
~*~*~*~
Almost simultaneously,
havoc was
wreaked among all the students from the three displaced Houses.
On the Quidditch
pitch, the beds
came alive like horses and started to cause such a riot that within
moments, it
looked like some travesty of an American rodeo with the Hufflepuffs
caught in
the midst of it.
In the air above the
castle, the
Ravenclaws zoomed around in the air as their beds soared with
unpredictable
maneuverability, occasionally launching their occupants out only to
catch them
moments later.
In the lake, the
Slytherins’ beds
were swimming speedily through, narrowly colliding with each other and
sending
water all over their occupants.
From the top of
Hagrid’s cabin, a
certain phoenix watched all three areas before zipping back into the
castle to
inform the teachers of this massive prank. (2)
~*~*~*~
This morning, the non-Gryffindor tables were suspiciously empty during
breakfast. People were muttering to themselves, and the professors
(most
notably Sprout, Flitwick and Snape) looked seriously concerned; and
Dumbledore
was just rising to make an announcement when Harry-the-phoenix came
soaring in.
Transforming back, he said in a rush, "Something happened to our beds
in
the middle of the night! All the Hufflepuffs are stuck in the Quidditch
stadium
and the beds are attacking them, the Ravenclaws are stuck in the air
above the
castle with their beds flying around, and the Slytherins are stuck in
the lake
with their beds swimming around!"
That was enough said; the Gryffindors immediately dropped their food
and eating
utensils and rushed out, but even those in the lead were neck-and-neck
with the
staff, who were immediately concerned for the well-being of the
students.
Once outside, Snape
rushed down to
the lake, anxious to save his Slytherins (with Hagrid right behind him,
should
the giant squid try anything). Sprout
immediately bounded over to the Quidditch pitch (which a few
Muggle-born
students had dubbed as a “Quidditch rodeo”) to assist her Hufflepuffs,
and
Flitwick shot charms up into the sky from the ground, thus bringing his
Ravenclaws down safely.
As this was all happening, the Gryffindors kept going back and forth
between
the different sights, laughing at whatever they saw.
After taking a moment to observe all the spellwork with that twinkle in
his
eye, Dumbledore helped use his great magic to bring all the students
back
safely.
"Professor Dumbledore!" Luna called out. "What took so
long?"
"I'll start from the beginning. The universe was created from the Big
Bang, the Earth formed, approximately six billion years passed,
everyone came
here today, Mr. Potter came to tell us about the situation, I had to
wipe the
stain off my robes upon hearing of your situation, and I came here to
assist." (3)
Half of the teachers cracked up at Dumbledore's witty response while
the
non-Gryffindor students rolled their eyes. "Come inside," Dumbledore
said, "Please come back inside so you can get dressed and have
something
to eat."
All of them happily did so, and they tried to ignore the Gryffindors’
laughing
as best as they could.
Before Harry could
enter, however,
Draco and Blaise pulled him aside. “Why
did you do that to us without letting us
know?” Draco asked him.
“Why did you do that
thing with
the showers without letting us know?”
Harry responded evenly.
Draco was silent,
while Blaise
backed off and said, “He’s right, you know.”
~*~*~*~
By the end of breakfast, a lot of people were talking about how every
House had
been pranked so far, and since most people kept with the theory that no
one
would have pranked their own House like that.
A few different students, though, including Mark Evans, guessed
that
Harry was indeed responsible for the prank.
However, since it was April Fools’ Day, they decided to let it
go. Mark even came up with a saying that
Harry
liked, once it reached the Gryffindor’s ears: “It’s bad luck to attack
Harry
Potter.”
Just then, Hedwig flew in with a message for him. After feeding and
thanking
Hedwig, he opened it up to find that it was from Fleur.
Dear Harry,
I have heard about the contest which Fred and George are throwing, and
I have
something in mind myself (which I am doing, partially out of revenge
for when
the Weasleys lost some faith in you nearly a month ago, not to mention
the
Electrocuting Rat I heard about).
For maximum results, try watching from atop Gringotts or something; I
know you
can, as a phoenix Animagus.
Sincerely,
Fleur
Harry looked it over and showed it to Dumbledore at the staff table.
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled with amusement as Harry said, "As an
assistant
professor, I would like to leave Hogwarts for a few hours. Not only do
I want
to see what Ginny and Fleur have planned, but maybe I would like a book
or two
at Flourish and Blotts."
"Permission granted, Harry; I would also like to see what it is that
Miss
Weasley and Miss Delacour have in mind. I shall have Hagrid escort Miss
Weasley, since I know that you can find your way to Diagon Alley on
your own.
Feel free to bring Misters Longbottom, Serpenfils, and Zabini with you."
Harry chuckled. "True, true." Then, upon further thought, he asked,
“Wait, you’re actually allowing me to
leave so I can prank them?”
With mock hurt,
Dumbledore said,
“I only did put up with those two for several years; I wouldn’t mind
seeing
them be pranked for once!” Next to him,
McGonagall allowed herself a tiny smile, while Snape raised an eyebrow.
Catching on, Harry
acknowledged
this and left the Slytherin table while thanking the Headmaster.
Returning to the
Slytherin table,
he wrote out a response for Hedwig to send back to Fleur: “I'll
be there, Fleur. Can't wait.”
As Hedwig hooted and flew off, he finished his meal and told the other
Neo-Marauders about the situation. They all looked delighted.
~*~*~*~
At 12:00, Harry and his friends traveled via Floo powder to the Leaky
Cauldron.
After Harry paid Tom for the lunch for his friends and had a quick bite
himself, he went to Flourish and Blotts to buy the book he had wanted.
Throughout the entire walk, a few less faithful people kept muttering
and
pointing at him, which he ignored.
The book that he wanted was one that he had seen on his eleventh
birthday, when
Hagrid took him to Diagon Alley. It was Curses and Countercurses
(Bewitch
Your Friends and Befuddle Your Enemies with the Latest Revenges: Hair
Loss,
Jelly-Legs, Tongue-Tying and Much, Much More) by Professor
Vindictus
Viridian. Harry didn't even know of half these curses, so wanted to
improve his
own personal "library," and bought a copy.
"Still want that book, Harry?" asked a gruff voice behind him. It was
Hagrid, with Ginny standing behind him.
"Yeah," Harry grinned as he paid the clerk. "Only this time, I
have much bigger fish to fry than my cousin. Well, figuratively
speaking, since
you've seen my cousin."
Hagrid laughed while Ginny winked at him. Harry winked back while he
bade his
friends good-bye and made his way back to the Leaky Cauldron. It was
now 12:20.
Just then, Fleur Delacour walked into the bar, catching the attention
of the
male occupants.
"Bonjour, Harry," she said. "Anyway, did you bring a
camera?"
"Actually, I did," Blaise spoke up.
"Well," Harry said, "It's nearly time." Transforming into a
phoenix, he vanished with the other Neo-Marauders.
~*~*~*~
After they reappeared on top of Gringotts, Neville asked, "What's going
to
happen, Harry?"
Transforming back, Harry said, "I have no idea myself; Fleur and Ginny
came up with it."
Lying down near the edge of the building with his camera ready, Blaise
looked
like a Muggle sniper with a camera instead of a rifle. "Well, my
camera's
in good condition and it's loaded with film. This should be fun."
At 12:25, Harry spotted a pair of redheads walking towards the Leaky
Cauldron.
Apparently, Fred and George were about to be set up.
Draco gave them frequent updates as it got closer to 12:30. 10... 9...
8...
7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...
Suddenly, a large rumbling could be heard from the other end of the
alley. The
brick wall to the Leaky Cauldron opened to reveal a heard of bulls
charging
out, causing a stampede. Confused and alarmed, everyone went indoors
for
safety.
Blaise burst out laughing as he eagerly clicked away. "It's like the
bulls
at
There were only ten bulls causing the rampage, so once the dust settled
behind
them, Harry could make out Ginny and Fleur at the starting point,
laughing
themselves sick.
As Blaise laughed even more and continued to take pictures without
falling over
the edge of the building, the other Neo-Marauders continued to roll
around,
laughing and shouting comments.
"They're completely starkers except for the boxers!" Draco chortled.
"I can't believe they never thought of that one!" Neville commented.
"Given what's happening, I don't know if this will boost their sales or
reduce them!" Harry wondered while laughing.
The Weasley twins shouted for help as they ran, but everyone was too
scared by
the chaos and too shocked at the sight to do anything about it. When
the bulls
passed certain shops, people would come out, mutter, point, and laugh.
Almost two minutes after it started, the rampaging spectacle made its
way
towards the bank itself, and as soon as they reached the doors to the
bank,
Fred and George banged on the doors and have them open up. Nothing
happened,
and as they cowered, waiting for the onslaught of bulls to charge into
them,
the bulls suddenly vanished into dust.
Soon enough, the entire alley came out and laughed at the twins. Mr.
Ollivander
eventually came up, and after enjoying a good laugh himself (life was
rather
monotonous and dull for him), he cast Concealing Charms on the twins as
they
ran back to the safety of their own shop, their faces burning like
sidewalks on
a summer day.
Becoming a phoenix again, Harry shook his tail. After the other three
grabbed
it, Harry took them back to the Leaky Cauldron.
It was a madhouse when they returned. Everyone was laughing and
muttering
happily. Ginny and Fleur had dissolved into helpless fits of giggles,
and
Hagrid was laughing so hard that Harry was surprised the whole tavern
wasn't
shaking.
"You two," Harry said, breathing hard from all the laughing,
"Both of you have a terrible sense of humor."
"Yes, I do, don't I?" Ginny asked in an innocent tone that deceived
no one.
"It's too bad they didn't make it to the bank," Fleur commented,
"Then they could have traded their family jewels for clothes!"
Hagrid, who had been drinking a few pints of mulled mead, heard this
and
sprayed his drink all over the barkeeper, which only made everyone
laugh more,
even Tom himself.
~*~*~*~
Within ten minutes of returning to Hogwarts, the Neo-Marauders found
Cho and
Susan chatting together, and after the pair of girls dissolved into
fits of
high-pitched laughter, they took some photos back to share with their
Houses.
After making their merry way back to the Slytherin common room, they
spread
around the rest of them. All the girls also collapsed into fits of wild
laughter, with Pansy and Nora in the lead. Harry even took Daphne's
suggestion
and mailed a copy to Mrs. Weasley.
In the halls, people were muttering excitedly, and even pointed to Ron,
since
it had been his own twin brothers. Personally, Ron didn’t know whether
to laugh
or to puke.
Judy Arnold watched sourly as Harry and his fellow pranksters
distributed the
pictures, and even shot some nasty comment at him.
Harry whipped around, but then smirked and
walked off.
Confused, Arnold
frustratingly ran
her fingers through her hair, only to discover that there was no more
hair.
Someone had used a
Hair Loss Hex
on her. (4)
~*~*~*~
The Ministry had just gotten news of the prank in Diagon Alley, and
people kept
coming up to Percy, asking him if their brothers always had these kinds
of
problems. As everyone kept laughing, Percy burned with anger.
Percy was busy enough as it was with going over reports on Dark
creatures with
Joseph Cornwall. He liked and respected this man, as a person of great
integrity on justice. Percy was about to go over the reports on
retrieving
dementors to guard "New Azkaban," as some people called it, when
there was a knock on the door.
"Come in," he said, looking up.
It was his girlfriend, Penelope Clearwater. "Hello, Percy," she said,
smiling. "Can we talk?"
"Sure," he smiled. "What is it?"
"Harry Potter," she said flatly, frowning a little. "Do you
think, quite possibly, that he could be innocent in this whole thing?"
It took every ounce of patience for Percy not to snarl at her. "I have
the
information I need, Penelope, thank you very much."
"Is it authentic?" she asked.
Percy was about to respond when Cornwall stepped in for him. "I'm
afraid
that you'll have to leave, Miss Clearwater," the older Ministry
employee
said neutrally. "This information is classified. I'm sure you and Mr.
Weasley will have plenty of time to talk together after office hours."
Penelope made to object, but as Dawlish the Auror appeared, Penelope
took the
hint and left wordlessly.
Percy turned to Cornwall as the door magically shut itself. "What was
that
for, Joseph?"
"I'm sorry, Percy," he said in a calm voice. "I'll agree that
you have a smart girlfriend, but I couldn't allow her to debate with
you like
that. She could have talked you into doing something that would have
undermined
and torn apart everything you've been working for lately."
Percy nodded. "Thanks, I suppose. Anyway, if I'm to prove that the
'Boy-Who-Lived,' has now become nothing more than a creature of the
Dark Lord,
I should really get back to work now." And with that, he opened his
folder
to read about how many dementors the Ministry had managed to steal back.
~*~*~*~
Hermione huffed as she made her way back up to Gryffindor Tower. This
was
turning into a lousy Saturday. The pranksters were making a carnival
out of the
school and she couldn't find as much as a blasted fingerprint!
After giving the password to the Fat Lady, she climbed through the
whole, and
was about to jump down when another stupid pop-up target appeared,
scaring and
making her fall flat on her butt.
It was a drawing of Darth Vader from the Star Wars movies, his
light
saber activated and the word bubble saying, "I find your lack of faith
disturbing."
After angrily blasting it apart with a Reductor Curse, she continued to
walk
inside.
Unfortunately for her, however, the blasted target magically dissolved
into
wax, and she slipped all over the place for several minutes until Ron
came in.
She would have gotten out sooner if she hadn't dropped her wand.
~*~*~*~
Ron used Vanishing Spells on the wax and helped Hermione get back up.
After
doing that, he went back to his own dorm room and decided to munch on a
couple
of Chocolate Frogs. Chocolate always made him feel better, and given
the hell
he was going through for his twin brothers' humiliation, he could do to
be in a
good mood right about now.
A minute later, his entire box of Chocolate Frogs exploded, and the
entire
thing of confectionary amphibians leaped at him. He screamed in an
undignified,
high-pitched voice after he realized that his Chocolate Frogs had
become
Chocolate Spiders. (5)
~*~*~*~
The rest of the afternoon passed as various pranks happened here and
there,
mainly driving the Gryffindors nuts. But it was at dinner that one of
the
funnier pranks was pulled off.
All the Gryffindors were eating dinner, just like everyone else. Ginny
was
absent, since she had spent the day shopping with Fleur, with
Dumbledore's
permission.
Suddenly, a sort of bomb dropped out of nowhere and caught the entire
Gryffindor table in a sick green light, when it vanished, the entire
hall was
shocked at what had happened. The students who didn’t believe Harry
were all
turned into donkeys!
"Hee haw!"
"HEE haw!"
"Hee HAW!"
The rest of the hall burst out laughing, and McGonagall was trying her
damned
hardest not to. She had to admit, however, it was an excellent bit of
transfiguration – from a purely professional standpoint, anyway.
Lupin and Dumbledore were once again laughing helplessly, and Snape had
to look
away as though disgusted by the sight, but when his head was turned, he
laughed
a little.
A donkey with dark hair (presumably Judy Arnold) was charging towards
the
Slytherin table where Harry was sitting (he was chatting with Mark),
but Harry
Banished him back to the Gryffindor table while shouting, "Get away
from
me, you jackass!" As Ron landed back down with a thud, causing even
more
people to laugh, Dumbledore decided that was enough was enough, and
thus returned
the Gryffindors back to their normal human forms.
~*~*~*~
One final prank awaited all of the school’s “Harry-haters” that night,
including Arnold, Smith and Corner.
Back in their own
dormitories,
they found their items strewn around (but otherwise undamaged), and
what looked
like blood the walls near the beds formed in a rather scary message.
LEAVE MY
GODSON ALONE OR YOU SHALL SUFFER. Woof
woof! Next
to these messages, also in in the
pseudo-blood, was a caricature of a Grim, representing Sirius in his
dog form.
~*~*~*~
That evening in the teacher’s lounge, Dumbledore managed to find news
of what
happened with the twins’ prank contest: It turned out that Ginny and
Fleur won
for embarrassing the twins themselves so royally.
“Wait a minute,” Lupin
said. “Since we only betted on either
these new
Marauders or the Weasley twins, what will we do with all the money we
betted?”
What will the
professors do,
indeed?
(End of chapter 38.)
A/N: Teehee, April Fools Day… and once again, BIG thanks to Draco664!
(1) Of course, this is just my interpretation of that.
(2) Once again, I use the “Elements/Houses” comparison here: The Hufflepuffs wind up in a place involving earth, the Ravenclaws end up in the air, and the Slytherins get stuck in the water.
(3) Hehehe, personally, I like the whole “I’ll start from the beginning” joke; what do you guys think?
(4) Thanks to Jay Orin for the idea for this prank!
(5) Before you
ask, YES,
Harry is still friends with Ron and Hermione, but as all the massive
pranks on
all the students have shown, he has to prank everyone, even his
friends, so it
won’t look too suspicious and give him and the other Neo-Marauders away.