A Little Light Relief!
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Now, I don't pretend to have written any of these myself, and I acknowledge rights to anybody who thinks they may have written them first, but if you think I've got time to stick those little (c) symbols everywhere, you have another think coming. Just read them and enjoy. If you are thinking of suing for copyright infringement, don't bother - I ain't got any money. If you have any you would like to see added, email me at webpage@cbmsys.freeserve.co.uk and I'll think about adding them. Also, if you find any broken links, email me.
 
Select A Category:
New
General Funnies
Film/Television
Computing Funnies
*Risqué*
Gender Issues
Sick of Microsoft?
The Fortunes Collection
Laws Of Life
(More to follow soon)

New! (These will be categorised when I get more)

Revocation Of American Independance
Why did the chicken cross the road (Computing Study)
C++ is like Teenage Sex
Interesting Facts: How did you manage without these?
How To Be A Pilot : Simple Rules for Beginners & Old Hands
Haynes Manuals - Translation Guide
Advantages of Owning A Series Landrover
Lucas Electrics - Myth or Reality?
Programmers Hippocratic Oath
Shoot Yourself in the Foot (Programmings Languages)
20 Clues that your file cabinet is better than your boss
21 Ways to confuse your boss
Software Learning Process
USAF Aircraft Fault Dockets

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General Ones:

Funny Signs Throughout The World
Impossible Questions
Real Groaners
Inane Ponderings
Rules Of Bedroom Football
16 Signs Your Driving School Instructor is Nuts
15 Signs Your Parents Arn't Human
16 Signs You Live In A Really Small Town
15 Latin Phrases For The 90's
20 Cool Things About A Car That Goes Faster Than The Speed Of Light
Why Alcohol Should Be Serverd At Work
Easiest Quiz
Daily Exercise For The Non-Athletic
The Lions Will March On
Misc Jokes
Olympic Games 2004
The Darwin Awards
How To Drive Your Wife Crazy
Murphy's Laws for Frequent Flyers
Bar Room Translations
Assorted Motor-Related Jokes
How to Cure A Cough
School Excuses Given By Parents
How To Cook A Thanksgiving Turkey
What You Are Saying By The Car You Buy
Quirky English Laws
10 Advantages of Being American
10 Advantages of Being Canadian
10 Advantages of Being English
10 Advantages of Being French
10 Advantages of Being German
10 Advantages of Being Indian
10 Advantages of Being Irish
10 Advantages of Being Italian
10 Advantages of For Being Spanish
10 Reasons For Not Being A Yank
Engineers Explained!
You Know You Are No Longer A Kid When...
Potential Problems With Cloning Humans
Top 5 Signs Spring Is Here
How To Identify Where A Driver Is From
Why Cats Are Better Than Dogs
The Lord's Prayer (Home Counties Version)
French Phrases for Travellers
If You Get Caught Sleeping On The Job....
Ten Screw-ups in the O.J. Simpson Defence
10 Ways Saddam Hussein an Improve His Image
Top Books Not Reccomended For Children
Books You Will Never Find In A Bookstore
16 Signs Your Kids Have Watched Too Much Jerry Springer
36 Peeves Of James Bond
What Changes Now The Baby Has Arrived?
Threats Used in Dysfunctional Families
12 Good Things About Hell
101 Ways To Be Annoying
More Classified AD's
Top 50 Oxymorons
More Top Tips From VIZ
More Unanswered Questions
Pranks To Try Out
Ten Things That Sound Dirty at College But Aren't
20 Ways To Annoy The Radio DJ
You Might Be A Child Of The 80's If...
10 Things To Do While Giving Blood
Drinking Guide
10 Things You'd Rather Not Overhear From The Cockpit
What Did Neil Armstrong Say When He Was On The Moon?
Santa Claus: An Engineer's Perspective
Top 22 Signs That You Are Suffering From Semester Burnout
100 Zany Ways To Phone A Pizza Order
Top 10 Ways To Answer The Phone
Top 10 Signs You Suffer From Road Rage
10 Things To Do At School When Bored
Top 12 Signs The Ice Cream Van Driver Is Over Stressed
Top 14 Ways Your Life Would Change If Your Tongue Was 2' Long
Top 15 Reasons For Being Fired From Toys R Us
You Are A Child Of The 80's if...
A Call For More Scientific Truth In Product Warning Labels
Actual Church Bulletins
Actual Quotes From Employee Performance Evaluations
Cool Anagrams
More Anagrams
Definitions From The Cynics Dictionary
Do You Feel Old?
Foolish Football Commentators Quotes
Hints For Mum
How To Keep Wackiness Alive In The Modern Workplace
Lawyer One-Liners
Quotes That Are Missing From The Bible
Nose Picking Glossary
Supposedly Overheard On Airline Flights.....
Preparation For Parenthood
Prison Vs Work
Rules Of Work
Situations You May Find Yourself In
Some Excuses
Stupid US Laws
Ten Things That Piss Me Off
Things We'd Like To See On Company Motivational Posters
Things People Actually Said In Court
Things You Don't Want To Hear During Surgery
Top Books Children Will Never Read
Top Signs You're Losing Your Hair
Top Signs You're Not Ready For Summer
Top Tips From VIZ
Top Christmas Party Games
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Specifically Computing Ones:

The Anti-Microsoft Picture Gallery
If AOL Was A Car
Computer Acronyms
The Networking 10 Commandments
Husband 1.0
Maxims for the Internet Age
10 Replies By Programmers When Thier Programs Don't Work
Entries in Bill Gates's Diary
10 Signs You Bought A Bad Computer
Engineers Explained!
Y2K has Gone - Read about the problems last time.
What If Architects Worked Like Programmers?
You Know You Area A Computer Nerd When...
10 Reasons Why Computers Must Be Male
What If People Bought BMW's The Same Way They Bought Computers?
Never Let A Programmer Drive Your Car!
Windows 98 Introduction
How Does The Brain Of A Microsoft Engineer Work?
Is Windows A Virus?
If Microsoft Made Dishwashers....
Bill Gates Control Program! (you'll need to know some C for this one)
The DOS 10 Commandments
10 Reasons Why Computers Must Be Female
10 Reasons Why Email Is Like A Reproductive Organ
Five Good Reasons Why IBM's Are Better Than MAC's
Intel's Excuses
Microsoft Keyboards
If Operating Systems Were Beers
If Operating Systems Drive Your Car
Microsoft Cars (Updated!)
24 Reasons Why Windows 95 Is NOT A Virus
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Film/Television:

16 Scenes Cut From Titanic
The Top 15 Surprises in "Spice World"
Top 10 Cool Things About Winning An Academy Award
Movie Quotes (54k)
The Top 10 Little-Known Oscar Nominations
Family Fortunes
9 Things Overheard at After-Oscar Parties
Things You Would Never Know Without Video Games
Bart Simpson's Punishment
Top 12 Signs You're Taking The X-Files Too Seriously
Top 13 Signs Your Cruise Ship Is On Fire
Top 14 Adult Film Star Nicknames
What We Learn About Americans From Watching Baywatch
20 Things You Wanted To Ask After Seeing Titanic
Top 10 Sexually Tilted Lines In "Return Of The Jedi"
Top 10 Sexually Tilted Lines In "The Empire Strikes Back"
Top 10 Sexually Tilted Lines In "Star Wars"
Things You Would Never Know Without The Movies
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Gender Issues:

Diary of a Mad Viagra HouseWife
Differences Between Good Girls And Bad Girls
Husband 1.0
100 Reasons It's Great To Be A Guy
How To Respond To Pick-up Lines
10 Ways You Know If You Have PMT
100 Reasons You'd Choose To Be A Woman
Motoring Terminology (Female Version)
How To Treat Your Husband
10 Problems With Being Married To Superman
Men Vs Women
Dogs And Women Compared
Types Of BoyFriend
10 Things You'll Never Hear One Guy Say To Another Guy
10 Things You'll Never Hear One Woman Say To Another Woman
Top 14 Signs Your Online Relationship Isn't Working
Top 8 Reasons Why Last Nights Date Was A Failure
Men Seeking Women Classifieds
Women Seeking Men Classifieds
Name: Expecteria Trouserius (Trouser Snake)
What Does It Mean When Men Say 'I Love You'
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