| 16. |
You have an argument with your wife, and the following Tuesday the City Council passes an ordinance taking her side. |
| 15. |
Leaders looking to pump up the census by recognizing multiple personalities. |
| 14. |
The Fire Department keeps borrowing your soda spritzer. |
| 13. |
Police Force armed only with The Club. |
| 12. |
You gotta kill a mess of people in a shooting rampage just to get Katie Couric to notice you. |
| 11. |
Town store runs out of supplies after third day of ATF blockade. |
| 10. |
Dining out requires gettting up enough change for Cheezits and Fanta from the vending machines at the gas station. |
| 9. |
Jury duty every week starting to wear thin. |
| 8. |
Renovation of town sewer system involves digging a new hole and moving the shed. |
| 7. |
Wal-Mart decides to build a 5-acre store instead of a 10-acre store, and only sells gum and raccoon pelts. |
| 6. |
Local Top Five List only has five items. |
| 5. |
Winter snow removal plan consists of the Mayor shaking Morton's Salt over the town intersection. |
| 4. |
Town's most eligible bachelor is named "Skeeter." |
| 3. |
Only 11 Starbucks. |
| 2. |
Only videos at Blockbusters are "Footloose" and "Meatballs II." |
| 1. |
To fill out this year's varsity football squad, Coach had to father 3 children. |