10 ways Saddam Hussein can improve his image 
10. Start acting only moderately insane
9. Vow to keep the bathing suit competition in the Miss Iraq contest
8. Claim it was his wife, Hillary, not he, who made all decisions concerning the Whitewater land deal
7. Move to New York and become a courteous, well-groomed cab driver
6. Star in new sitcom "Husseinfeld"
5. Assassinate Hootie and seize control of the Blowfish
4. Turn Kuwait into the world's biggest Starbucks Coffee Bar
3. Appear in one of those milk mustache ads [photo of Saddam with a milk mustache]
2. Put a warhead in his pants and blow his ass to Neptune
1. Nail one of them Baghdad hookers
 
 

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