Q : Why is a computer like a woman?
A : You forget how much it means to you until it goes down on you.
Q : What is the difference between a computer and a woman?
A1: You only have to punch something into a computer once?
A2: Only a computer will accept a 3 1/2 inch floppy.
This very old guy, older than 90, whips back the covers one morning with a big hard on. "What do you think about this, Honey?" he says to his wife. She says "Now that you have the wrinkles out of it, why don't you wash it?"
Q: What do you call a cow with no legs?
A: Ground beef.
Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
A: It was two tired.
Q. Why don't witches wear panties?
A. So they can get a better grip on the broom
Q: Why do female paratroopers wear jock straps?
A: So they don't whistle on the way down.
Q: How do you get three little old ladies to use the "F" word?
A: Get a fourth little old lady to yell "Bingo."
Two goldfish are in a tank.
One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
Q: What's brown and sounds like a bell?
A: Dung
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick!
Q: What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A: A stick.
Q: What do you call a dog with 2 inch legs and steel balls?
A: Sparky
Q: What happened to the butcher when he backed up into the meat grinder?
A: He got a little behind in his orders.
Q: How do you make an elephant fly?
A: You start with a 24" zipper
Q: Why don't roosters have hands?
A: Because chickens don't have tits
Q: How do you give a cowboy a hard-on?
A: Moooo-ooo-ooo
Q: How do you circumcise a whale?
A: Send down four skin divers.
Q: How do you tell one end of a worm from the other?
A: Put it in a bowl of flour and wait for it to fart
Q: How did the Dairy Queen get pregnant?
A: The Burger King forgot to wrap his Whopper
Q: How do you get 5 pounds out of a fly?
A: Unzip it
Q: Why does the Avon Lady walk so funny?
A: Her lipstick
Q: What is the difference between a cow and a condom?
A: One is a jersey and the other is a pullover
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