| 1. |
It's a reality-based
object. |
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| 2. |
Your filing cabinet
has never cut the training and supplies budget, and then been so happy
with its cost-saving work it's gone out to a long lunch on its company
expense account. |
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| 3. |
The file cabinet doesn't
make me wear a button saying "ask me about combo savings" when all I do
is run the elevators. |
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| 4. |
It's been in the industry
longer.- and you only bought it last summer |
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| 5. |
I have woolen sweaters
with a higher IQ than my boss - why shouldn't my file cabinet make better
decisions? |
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| 6. |
Your file cabinet doesn't
change its long-term strategy every time it lunches with a customer. |
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| 7. |
Your files contain
all the data for strategic marketing campaigns of past projects. Your Boss
can't remember what he had for lunch!
- |
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| 8. |
Unlike boss's mind,
the file cabinet can be open as well as closed. |
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| 9. |
File cabinet refused
to open, thereby cancelling absurd project. The Boss would have beaten
a dead horse back alive. |
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| 10. |
To date, my file cabinet
has not cost us any clients... |
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| 11. |
Your file cabinet doesn't
spend all day on the phone with other store managers, asking "What do I
do about (insert latest crisis here)?" |
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| 12. |
Your file cabinet is
full of information. Your boss is just full of it. |
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| 13. |
You never have to schedule
a meeting with your file cabinet to discuss the feasibility of providing
you with information you need to do your job. |
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| 14. |
The file cabinet has
never asked me to cancel my honeymoon in order to meet some artificial
deadline. |
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| 15. |
The file cabinet does
not have an MBA. |
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| 16. |
Not once have you ever
seen the file cabinet hide in the bathroom in order to avoid making a decision. |
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| 17. |
When you ask your file
cabinet a question, it's still there at the end of the sentence. |
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| 18. |
It doesn't get sued
for harassment for comments made during a harassment seminar break. |
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| 19. |
Your file cabinet fell
on my boss. Truly a great decision!!! |
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| 20. |
How could a brainless,
inanimate object make better decisions than my file cabinet? |