| 16. |
Claims "road rage" was his idea. |
| 15. |
Touch his dashboard Jesus? Ride home in the trunk. |
| 14. |
Makes you stop at every fire hydrant so he can urinate on it. |
| 13. |
She conducts lane change practice in her Jacuzzi. |
| 12. |
Conducts the first week's lessons in two chairs using imaginary driving motions and engine sounds. |
| 11. |
Insists on sitting in back seat & being called "Miss Daisy." |
| 10. |
Keeps stopping in the middle of your lesson to deliver pizzas. |
| 9. |
Fails you unless you can get the airbag to pop. |
| 8. |
Instead of emergency brakes on his side of the car, he has a passenger-side accelerator and a mini bar stocked with Wild Turkey and Ho Ho's. |
| 7. |
Has "P - R - D - 2 - 1" painted on his fly and keeps yelling, "Shift!" |
| 6. |
Has a working saw blade on the hood and mutters about "fixing Speed Racer for good". |
| 5. |
Immediately fails you because his Carmen Miranda-style hat doesn't fit in your Escort. |
| 4. |
Day One: "Chinese Fire Drills", "Basic Mooning Techniques" and "Reloading a 9mm at 90 mph." |
| 3. |
Always divides class into "shirts" and "skins." |
| 2. |
he yells "England," you're supposed to start driving on the other side of the road. |
| and the Number 1 Sign Your Driving School Instructor is Nuts... |
| 1. |
Insists you turn off the headlights and "use the Force." |