Announcing this month's installment of the DARWIN awards....Given posthumously to the idiot (or idiots) who are so kind as to thin the gene pool by ridding us of themselves through the process Charles Darwin called NATURAL SELECTION!
THIS MONTH's RUNNER UP
On February 3, a Renton (Seattle area) man tried to commit a robbery.
This was probably his first attempt, as suggested by his lack of a record of violent crime, and by his terminally stupid choice:
- The target was H&J Leather & Firearms, a gunshop;
- The shop was full of customers, in a state where a substantial fraction of the adult population is licensed to carry concealed handguns in public places;
- To enter the shop, he had to step around a marked King County Police patrol car parked at the front door.
- An officer in uniform was standing next to the counter,having coffee before reporting to duty. Upon seeing the officer, the would-be robber announced a holdup and fired a few wild shots. The officer and a clerk promptly returned fire, removing him from the gene pool. Several other customers also drew their guns, but didn't fire. No one else was hurt.
HONORABLE MENTION
Derrick L. Richards, 28, was charged in April in Minneapolis with third-degree murder in the death of his beloved cousin, Kenneth E.Richards. According to police, Derrick suggested a game of Russian roulette and put a semiautomatic pistol to Ken's head instead of a revolver.
MOSCOW, RUSSIA
A drunk security man asked a colleague at the Moscow bank they were guarding to stab his bullet-proof vest to see if it protected him against the knife. It didn't and the 25 year old guard died of a heart wound.
Isn't it good to see the Russians getting into the spirit of the awards?
AND THE WINNER!!!!!!!
Jacques LeFevrier left nothing to chance when he decided to commit suicide. He stood at the top of a tall cliff and tied a noose around his neck. He tied the other end of the rope to a large rock. He drank some poison and set fire to his clothes. He even tried to shoot himself at the last moment. He jumped and fired the pistol.
The bullet missed him and cut through the rope above him. Free of the threat of hanging, he plunged into the sea. The sudden dunking extinguished the flames and made him vomit the poison. He was dragged out of the water by a kind fisherman and was taken to a hospital, where he died of exposure!!!
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