21 Ways to Confuse Your Boss 1. Three-syllable words work very nicely.  2. Send him email from himself. 3. Use technical terms like...broken. 4. Change the application startup sound in Windows to the error message sound. 5. Grade the memos he asks you to send out and give them back to him. 6.  Utter a paralogical statement: "Two plus two does equal five, for very large values of two." 7. Each week switch names with your co-workers. 8. Reprint this month's calendar page, but start the numbering on the wrong day (i.e. Monday instead of Wednesday).Your boss won't be able to figure out the date or day of the week. 9. Take the nameplate off his office door and put it on an exit door. 10. Move the "Reserved" sign on his parking space one space to the left every day. 11. Open a free email account with the name of one of his most important clients and send him an email demanding a response to a nonsensical issue within the organization. 12. Whenever talking to him on the phone, hang up in mid-sentence. If he calls back, ask him why he hung up. 13. Take the paper out of the copier before he uses it. 14. Occasionally deepen your voice and talk very slowly as you speak, like a portable tape player with a failing battery. Pretend nothing is out of the ordinary. 15. When the boss's golf through their meetings, page them with each others' cell phone numbers. 16. Show up for work on time, in a good mood, and ask what they need done today. 17. Send an email and leave a voicemail at exactly the same time. One says that you're leaving early, the other says you're staying late. No matter what you do, you're covered. 18. Put a fresh paint sign on his office door, and paint one square foot of his office ceiling each day to keep the paint smell. 19. Keep jumping out the ground floor window, and then re-entering the office past the boss.  20. Once a week, saw one inch off the legs of his desk and keep commenting to him that he looks taller. 21. "My project? On time and under budget."