C Chicken:  It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken: The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd
simply refer to him on the other side.

COBOL Chicken: 
0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSINGc

Cray Chicken: Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't
dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully
cooked.

Delphi Chicken: The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on
the other side.

G3 300 MHz Chicken: It crosses twice as fast as any Pentium chicken.

Gopher Chicken: Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

Intel Pentium Chicken: The chicken crossed 4.9999999978 times.

Iomega Chicken: The chicken should have backed up before crossing.

Java Chicken: If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the
server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are
chicklets.)

Lotus Chicken: Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we
do!

Mac Chicken: No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to
cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.

Microsoft Chicken (TM): It's already on both sides of the road. And
it just bought the road.

Newton Chicken: Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you
can carry it across the road in your pocket!

NT Chicken: Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for
sure.

OOP Chicken: It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a
message.

OS/2 Chicken: It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so
quiet that nobody noticed.

OS/ 8.1 HFS+ Chicken: It had much more free space to cross.

Quantum Logic Chicken: The chicken is distributed probabalistically
on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your
choice.

VB Chicken: USHighways!<TheRoad.cross> (aChicken)

Web Chicken: Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on
running.

Windows 95 Chicken: You see different colored feathers while it
crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken.

Windows 98 Chicken: It should have expected to cause a crash while
crossing.