Changes Now That the Baby
has Arrived:
-
Hubby drops to #2 on the list of people drooling
at the sight of your breasts.
-
Store clerks don't look at you so funny when
you buy your regular weekly supply of diapers.
-
Finally, someone you can beat at "Got Your
Nose," at least for a year or so.
-
You develop a liking for minivans, sensible
shoes, and a deep-seated contempt for Michael Jackson.
-
You're not so tolerant of strangers asking
to touch your round little belly anymore now that you're just FAT.
-
Goodbye, Happy Hour -- Hello, Happy Meal!
-
Can't leave the AK-47s under the couch anymore.
-
No longer get arrested for whipping out your
breast on the subway.
-
The realization that caca comes in a rainbow
of lovely colors.
-
Well, there goes the pet dingo.
-
Cases of Bud Light quickly replaced by cases
of Butt Wipes.
-
Bundle of joy, my ass. Just another ingrate
to buy cigarettes for.
-
Junior looks adorable in his little "sandbox",
but the cat is seriously torqued about it.
-
Mama cuts back to a sixer a day now that she's
only "drinkin' fer one."
-
For efficiency, your paycheck now direct-deposited
to Disney.
-
The closest you come to orgasm is when you
think of sleep.
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