1.
Chocolate Easter bunnies everywhere, staring
at me with those hideous, sugary eyes. The eyes... the eyes... THE EYES!!!
2.
The return of that unmistakable cosmopolitan
fragrance, "Eau De Tinkle Aux Vagrants."
3.
When shopping at any department store,
the screams of women experiencing "bathing suit shock" can be heard throughout
the store.
4.
Michael Jackson goes in for his annual
face re-caulking.
5.
The increased daylight-to-darkness ratio,
coupled with both mammalian and floral pheromone emissions, wakes up the
hibernating "horny pants" gene.