12. None of that annoying check-in procedure
like with St. Peter.
11. That Tony Robbins Seminar firewalk
trick *finally* pays off!
10. Buffet always has plenty of Lucifer's
secret-recipe deviled eggs.
9. Due to recent health code changes,
vats of boiling brimstone now use low-fat canola oil.
8. Your "Do you smell something burning?"
slays 'em, year after year.
7. Plenty of legal help available for
filing "wrongful death" lawsuit.
6. Newly passed law: Three strikes and
you're back in LA.
5. Satan's confused attempts to torture
masochists can be highly entertaining.
4. Inability to ice skate no longer gets
in the way of having fun.
3. Well, sure, it's hot, but it's a *dry*
heat.
2. Free prostate checks and PAP smears
administered daily!
1. Prizes awarded for best crank phone
calls to God