I got up at around six-thirty as usual
a few months ago expecting a normal run of the mill sort of day. I
could see it was sunny through the gap in the lounge curtains and
was glad to pull them back and let sunlight flood into the
Taking a squinting look around the garden I decided my eyes
weren't quite ready for bright light yet. Just as I was turning
away a movement in the sky caught my attention. The flying object
made me breathless with excitement.
U.F.O? It was cylindrical in shape and
probably eighty to one hundred feet long. It flew slowly across the
sky towards the north-east. On either side of the cylinder there
were protuberances of perhaps thirty feet in length. The craft made
a droning noise as it made it's steady progress through the air.
The sun glinted on it's shiny silver surface and it had lettering
and numbers on the underside. "Gosh!" I muttered with awe.
Excitement! I rushed to the telephone
and dialled my brother's number. I was sure he would be as excited
as me. He wasn't. All he did was groan something about it being
just another damned aeroplane. "That's right" I enthused. "It's an
I.F.O". That stands for 'Identified
Spotting them has become an interest for me recently.
An explanation. I've spent many hours
standing out in the garden looking up into the night sky hoping to
see a flying saucer. Not one has ever hovered above, flown across
or landed in the back garden. One time when I'd stood there getting
a crick in my neck from staring upwards for too long I saw some
lights traversing the atmosphere. Could it be a U.F.O? was I going
to be abducted by a bunch of long legged female aliens and have
dreadful experiments carried out on my person? Nah, it was only
another aeroplane ...and a good job too. The experiments would have
probably hurt anyway.
I decided that the time had come for a change of approach to the
subject. If I wasn't going to get anywhere in the U.F.O or
'Ufology' field then I would transfer my enthusiasm to 'Ifology'
(which means: Identified Flying Object-ology) and treat all
I.F.O sightings as if they were as rare as U.F.O's. People say that
I've gone over the edge with it all but I don't care because now my
hobby is really looking up. Well, mostly anyway because sometimes
they're on the ground.
Much more productive. My neck
complaint has improved and I can honestly say that I've seen
hundreds of various shaped I.F.O's. Look up at most times of the
day or night and I.F.O's are plane to see
whereas U.F.O's number in the region of zero. It's much more
productive than spending hours gazing into space from the garden or
freezing to the bone on some cold and draughty tor on Salisbury
The I.F.O. spotters club. There's a
gathering of I.F.O's at Farnborough every two years and I expect I
shall have a field day logging down all the strange craft that will
be there. If anyone is interested in joining me I've started an
I.F.O spotters club called 'The IFOmation Centre'. There's an
annual membership fee of £9-99 to cover administrative
costs and a 'T' shirt is available at small extra charge. I'm the
only one in it at the moment so if anyone else is interested in
Ifology please don't hesitate to give me a call. I'm here most
times, out in the back garden scouring the skies with my really
powerful binoculars. I rarely eat out so am not out to lunch like
most people say I am.