This is 5s Live    ********      SEE 456           FOR 5s NEWS, RESULTS, REPORTS AND FIXTURES IN 2005/6 SEASON      *******

LINKS TO OTHER SITES:

456

Stevenage Hockey Club

East League

English Hockey

The 4s Site

5s 2000 Championship Winning star Grecian "The Hockey Doctor" Gambo always talked rubbish. Now, thanks to the Care in the Community service in the Czech Republic, he writes it exclusively for 5s Live

1 February 2005

Kevin gets in on the act....................fair enough! 

30 November 2004

MOVERS AND SHAKERS

Writer Geoffrey Gammon 1343-1400

Awake Tom Wharton  between 1415-1430

Noblewoman Rose Cooper 1415-95

Logger Ian Brown 1491-1547

Queen Elizabeth I 1558-1603

Carpet Cleaner Trevor Scott-Hibbert 1599-1658

Architect Steven Hutchinson 1632-1723

Astronomer Edmund Halley 1656-1742

Potter Geoff Middleton 1808-1882

Political Economist Onya Marx 1818-1883

Writer Charles Dickens 1812-1870

Nurse Mary Seacole 1805-1881

Photographer Keith Blaxill AD124-

Mathematician and Computer Scientist Sebby Rose 1912-1954

Gardener Paul Graves 1868 - 1926

Soldier and Statesman Terry Webb 1874 - 1965

Sweeper Elton John 1947-

21 November 2004  NO JOY IN SEARCH FOR SKIPPERS TAMBOURINE. After a month of searching and a Europe-wide investigation involving at least one German police officer, the fate of the Skipper's tambourine still remains a mystery.  

Polizeikommissar Georg Hoock from the Wein-gasse Polizei, Gau-Algesheim said "at the moment we have two suspects, firstly, a woman who was dancing on a table with Dave Blaxill in Weingut Kaiser, possibly provoked into a revenge theft after Mr Blaxill asked if she wanted to go to Kegelplatz and see "Willi Hang" secondly, an international percussion collector, Pilferano Tambourini who was seen about the village in a floppy hat, an independence day look in his eyes and heavy legs, CCTV footage from Weingut Kaiser's taken on Saturday evening clearly shows him trying to hide behind a scarecrow" 

Herr Hoock added "A young man named Tomas Wharton has been eliminated from our enquiries and is no longer a suspect. Moments after the theft, at 3.30pm we received a call from a housemaid working in the Hotel-Garni Am Heljerhaisje, she reported that a young man was acting suspiciously having seemingly been in bed for three whole days. "When I entered the room to muck out after those three foul pigs from Stevenage Hockey Club the young boy appeared to be moving but when he saw me he laid motionless pretending to be asleep, I was frighten out of my wits so I called the Police" she said. 

Hoock said, "we arrived at 3.40pm to find the young man had nodded-off again, we woke him up and interviewed him for some three hours and in the end we were so bored listening that we accepted his story that he had indeed only been playing the "air tambourine" and the incoherent text he was muttering was due to the fact he could not remember the words to the Gau-Algesheim anthem, just the bit that goes ah ah ah. With no trace of percussion instruments ever having entered his bed we left but I can tell you, he certainly wasn't motionless as previously thought by the poor maid"

 The case continues......................................

If Tom or anyone else is interested the words to the Gau-Algesheim anthem is.

Am wunderschonen Rhein, da liegt ein Stadtelein,
Hat goldige Madchen und blumigen Wein,
Es ist Gau-Algesheim,

Und willst Du frohlich sein, dann kehre bei uns ein,
Du fuhlst Dich geborgen, so gut wie daheim,
Nur in Gau-Algesheim!

Ah Ah Ah (according to Tom)

Learn it for Easter....................Dave Blaxill knows the tune..............   

10 November 2004

TO THE HOCKEY DOCTOR

Dear Doc

I've been sitting here all day drinking, Same old thing ten years ago drinking,
My hockey days are gone, memories linger on, Thoughts of when I could almost run.

Penny farthings on the street riding, Cocky was a funny thing, frightening,
Tony Parker was the tops, Anne Graves' lollipops,

Comical Cats, all different things.

My hockey shorts always undone, flying, Terry Webb and walking Ray trying,
A radio and pornography, Bananaman's umpiring made us laugh,
Silently falling about
Nobody hits the ball, near me, Can't remember my younger days, clearly
Now it's in the past? Everyday I find,

Thoughts of when I could play.

 Simmo, Knobworth, Hurts.

The Doc Says

 Grandad, grandad you're lovely, That's what we all think of you,
Grandad, grandad you're lovely, That's what we all think of you,
Grandad, grandad.

15 October 2004

Sorry I missed last week Czechbook but after drinking wine all weekend with the Skipper, Elton, BBC, Nipper, Dave, the Bananaman Family and Tom (when he could get out of bed, which wasn't too often), I was in no fit state to write a word.

The Wineguts were indeed gutted when the news came through of last weeks vets defeat, "ray and bbc would have mad a difference" according to Simmo, nice sms Simmo or mss if it suits you.

Skipper's been a bit harsh on the website news, you want to be careful KB, the lads won't play if you slag them off. "5s hit 14 as new squad takes shape", We say bring back Onion Ray.

THE HOCKEY DOCTOR. Being the second best player in the history of the club - Cats is the outright best, he told me last weekend, 15 times if I remember rightly - a few players have been contacting me to help them with their hockey problems and of course I'm only too pleased to help. If any of you old codgers have a problem with your game or need some skills advice from the Hockey Doctor simply e-mail. Here are two of the e-mails "The Doc" received this week.

Dear Doc.

 I've been playing hockey now for over 50 years and I don't seem to be any better since the day I started. I've tried every position from defense to attack but I'm beginning to think I'm just rubbish, in a desperate attempt to succeed I once tried substitute but forgot my tracksuit!

 I found salvation a few years back when I became 5's captain so I was able to pick myself every week but not now, every time the phone rings I fear the drop and my life has become a living hell, I don't know where to turn, or when I'm doing it.

 My family is behind me, last Christmas they gave me new knee, ankle and elbow supports but I know I'm embarrassing them every weekend; it's eating me inside out. My sons Steve and Ross tell me not to worry but I know they're just saying it. Doc, please, please, please, what shall I do, you are my last hope.

 Anonymous

Letchworth

The Doc Says.

I understand your feelings Phil but you must consider your team-mates. It sound to me like they have been carrying you for years and they must be totally sick of you, lets face it, they're not getting any younger are they? Daggers says he's fed up with you dribbling all over his clothes in the changing rooms too and drastic action could be on it's way, perhaps it's time to hang up your stick and bandages.

Dear Doc

 My old mate Phil Hutchinson is totally useless but I don't know how to tell him. Last week he dribbled on my clothes in the changing room, if he does it again I think I'm going to deck the saliverate. Please help.

 Daggers.

SHC 5's

I have trawled my way through the 5's website and, whilst it is brilliant as usual, there are a few things that concern me.

 THE SQUAD.

1  You seem to have forgotten Raymond's other nickname, Elton. On this subject I hope there is no repeat of his foul mouthed outburst at Hahn Airport on Friday or another airing of that dreadful blue shell-suit.