The Long and Winding Road

 

• RATING:          PG-13.
• CONTENT WARNINGS: Post-Meridian, Language, Danny whumping (mild)
• SPOILERS:       FiaD, Legacy, Meridian, Fallen
• AUTHOR'S NOTE: Finally – chapter 2! I cannot believe that it has been over a year since I posted chapter 1, which means I’ve actually been writing this for well over that. Unfortunately,  this isn’t over yet – part 3 is still to come. Thanks as always to Ali for her wonderful beta job and guidance when this fell off the right track into the wilderness. Thanks for putting it back onto the right path. I also really want to say a heartfelt thanks to the SG-1 Heartsisters. Without your invaluable encouragement and suggestions, this may never ever have been completed – so thank you, thank you, thank you – you guys rock!  

 

 

Back to Chapter 1

 

Chapter 2 - The SGC

 

Two days after Daniel’s return to the SGC, Janet met with General Hammond and Jack to discuss Daniel’s progress and the next steps in his rehabilitation and integration into normal life.

 

“Well sirs, the long and short of it is, Daniel is getting restless.”

 

Jack interrupted Janet’s report with a derisory snort. “Restless? I’d say Daniel is going stir crazy stuck in the infirmary all day.”

 

Janet just glared at him before continuing with her report. “On the whole I’d say he’s making good progress, despite the boredom factor. He is remembering more each day and so far we’ve not had any unpleasant flashbacks since that one in the hospital.”

 

“This all sounds very positive Doctor,” interjected Hammond.

 

“On the whole it is, sir,” replied Janet. “Daniel seems to have inadvertently come across a whole new therapy for his amnesia, which is enabling him to recover more memories than we would have expected in the short timescale.”

 

“New therapy? Which is?” asked Hammond.

 

“Water, sir.” Both men frowned at this, so Janet elaborated. “Daniel’s flashback in the hospital occurred after he had just taken his first shower after regaining consciousness. What we’ve found is that he seems to be recovering more memories if he’s immersed in water. Dr Mackenzie has theorised that this may be a physical way of achieving regression therapy.”

 

“Regression therapy?” Jack frowned.

 

“There’s a whole school of thought that believes that by regressing the patient back to the time of their birth, and possibly beyond, you can unlock things that have been suppressed by the conscious mind.” Janet didn’t look like someone who was completely convinced by this.

 

“Oh, I’ve heard of that – aren’t they the flakes who think you can find out if you’ve been reincarnated by going back past your own birth or something?” Jack scowled. “What’s that got to do with Daniel?”

 

“Well, Dr Mackenzie believes that Daniel’s immersion in water is something like going back to the womb and that this is a kind of rebirth…” Janet tailed off at the looks the two men were giving her. “Okay, I don’t agree with it either, but all I know is that it seems to be helping Daniel recover his memories without too much trauma or upset, so for the time being I’m happy to let him carry on taking as many baths and showers as he likes.”

 

Jack smiled, remembering how often he had visited the infirmary recently, only to be told that Daniel was in the bath. “Well that does explain why the desert rat has suddenly become a water-baby.”

 

“So where does this leave us Doctor?” asked Hammond.

 

“Well sir, I can see no reason to keep Daniel in the infirmary any longer. Provided that he is under supervision most of the time, and we keep a close eye out for any problems, I think we could move him into a VIP room.”

 

“What about letting him go home?” asked Jack.

 

“One step at a time, Colonel,” smiled Janet. “I just want him to familiarise himself with the SGC and what goes on around here before we start to reacclimatize him with the outside world.”

 

*

 

Later that day, Jack showed Daniel into the VIP room that was to be his temporary home. He had filled it with as many bits and pieces of Daniel’s stuff as he had managed to lay his hands on at short notice.

 

“This isn’t where I live,” murmured Daniel on entering the room. “I live somewhere else.” His brow furrowed as he viewed the room.

 

“It’s going to be home for a little while,” replied Jack. “Just until the Doc says you can leave.”

 

“This is my stuff,” murmured Daniel, touching a pottery bowl. His frown deepened. “This isn’t my home but it is my stuff.”

 

“That’s right. We brought your stuff here so you could feel more at home.” Jack scrutinised the younger man as he wandered around the room, occasionally touching an object, or moving it somewhere else. Daniel’s air of confusion was slightly disconcerting.

 

Daniel had stopped in front of the closet. He opened the door and stared at the clothes folded up on the shelves in there. “Are these mine?” he asked.

 

“Yes Daniel, those clothes are for you,” replied Jack. He strode over to the closet and closed the doors. “Tell you what, why don’t we go and see who’s around?” He gently steered Daniel through the door.

 

The two of them took the long way round to Sam’s lab. Jack did this deliberately, to allow Daniel a chance to get a feel for the atmosphere of the SGC, and to see as many people as he could in as casual a manner as possible.

 

By the time the two of them had arrived at their destination they had managed to take in a lot of the SGC and met up with quite a few people, all of whom were delighted to see Daniel. Jack watched the younger man carefully; trying to work out what Daniel was feeling each time.

 

For the most part, Daniel came across as pleased to see the bearer of the good wishes, but at the same time he seemed somewhat withdrawn and even slightly brittle in his manner. Jack realised after a couple of these encounters that only he appeared to be aware that Daniel wasn’t quite his normal self.

 

They strolled into Sam’s lab to find the Major staring intently down a microscope.

 

“Hey Carter, whatcha doin’?” asked Jack.

 

“Sir. Daniel! Janet finally let you escape from the infirmary then?” Sam smiled at Daniel, who was staring around him, a frown etched deeply onto his features.

 

“Yes…” he murmured, looking intently at the various bits of electronic gadgetry spread over the workbench in front of him. “What’s this?”

 

“Oh, that. I’m trying to produce some micro circuits that could be used to control naquada generators, if we can manage to reproduce generators small enough to be portable. You remember the one that Merrin brought with her; well - we think we can condense that further still…”

 

“Carter! Enough! Please!” Jack held up his hands in an exasperated manner in an attempt to silence his 2IC.

 

“Sorry sir.” Sam looked a little embarrassed. Daniel continued to ignore the two of them and study the equipment on the bench.

 

“Actually, Daniel and I thought we’d stop by and invite you and Teal’c to join us for a rather late lunch, something by way of a small celebration for Daniel’s release.” Jack glanced at Daniel’s back without really registering what he was doing or what was actually on the bench. “I know it’s only the commissary, but it’ll have to do as Doc won’t let Danny here…”

 

An agonised yell cut through Jack’s words. He and Sam both rushed to see what Daniel had done. He was holding two of the fingers on his left hand.

 

“Daniel, what did you do?” Sam asked.

 

“It was hot,” Daniel said, his voice sounding like a petulant child. He glared at the offending article.

 

Sam checked Daniel’s fingers. They were very definitely burnt. He had touched the soldering iron that she had been using. She scowled at the burns. “You’re fortunate that it’s only a very small soldering iron, the one I use for electronics. It’s still plugged in. A larger one would have inflicted serious damage. I’ll phone Janet.”

 

Jack dragged Daniel over to the sink in the corner of the room, and forcibly held the burnt fingers under cold running water. “What did you want to touch that for, for crying out loud? Didn’t you know it was hot?”

 

“No,” muttered Daniel. “I wanted to know what the shiny silver stuff on the end of the stick was. It didn’t look hot.”

 

Having completed her phone call, Sam now joined her team mates by the sink. “Sorry, it was probably my fault. I shouldn’t have left it so close to the front. I should have unplugged it or at least warned him that it was still hot. Sorry.”

 

Jack realised that Sam was apologising to him rather than Daniel. “Well Daniel should have had more sense than to touch something that might be hot,” he said pointedly.

 

“Didn’t know it would be hot,” grumbled Daniel. He tried, for the umpteenth time, to pull his fingers out from under the stream of water, but Jack held them firmly in place.

 

Janet swept into the room, armed with a bag and accompanied by an orderly. She surveyed the scene before her and instantly homed in on Daniel and his fingers. “What happened?” she demanded angrily. “I only released him to your care two hours ago and already he’s hurt. Keep going at this rate and he’ll be permanently in the infirmary.” She glared at Sam and Jack.

 

“It’s my fault Janet. I touched the…” Daniel struggled to find the right word, and failed. “I touched the hot stick,” he volunteered.

 

“Hot stick?” Janet glared at Sam.

 

“He touched the soldering iron,” replied Sam. At Janet’s horrified expression she added hastily “It was only a small one, you know, the ones we use for electronics...”

 

Janet looked at the burns, and her frown deepened into a scowl. She dressed the wound with a wet wrap. “Right Daniel, infirmary now.”

 

“But we were going for lunch,” protested Daniel.

 

“Well, we see about getting that sorted out later, but right now, those burns need sorting out. You’ve got some nasty blisters there.” Janet placed one hand firmly in the small of Daniel’s back and forcibly steered him towards the door. Despite the height difference, Daniel definitely gave Jack the impression that he was no match for the infuriated doctor. The two of them swept out of the room with Jack and Sam in hot pursuit.

 

“Doc!” Jack rushed to keep up. For someone with such short legs, Janet sure could shift when she had a mind to.

 

“Later Colonel,” Janet growled. They arrived in the infirmary and Daniel was bundled into a cubicle. As Jack stepped up to follow him, the curtains were drawn in his face.

 

“Okay, I can take a hint,” Jack turned and looked at Sam.

 

“Why would he have touched it sir? Daniel’s got more sense, hasn’t he?” she frowned as she tried to understand what had happened.

 

“I don’t know Carter,” Jack stuck his hands in his pockets and looked at the curtains surrounding the cubicle in front of them. “I only hope Doc lets him out again. He’ll go nuts if he has to stay in here a second longer than he has to.”

 

The two of them sat in silence, waiting for Janet to finished tending to Daniel’s burns.

 

Eventually she came out from behind the curtains around the bed and came over to the two of them. “Can I have a word in my office?” she asked in a tone of voice that implied that it wasn’t optional.

 

Once the three of them were in Janet’s office, the doctor indicated that they should sit as she perched on the edge of her desk.

 

“What is it Doc?” asked Jack.

 

“Is Daniel…?” Sam started.

 

“The burns aren’t that serious, thank goodness,” Janet replied. “But talking to Daniel about what happened has indicated that there may be other, more serious problems.”

 

“Like what?” Jack leaned forward in the chair.

 

Janet sighed. “It looks like there may be a behavioural issue.”

 

“Behavioural?” Jack was confused.

 

“Yes. Daniel’s reasons for touching the soldering iron and his reaction afterwards are very much in line with those you might normally expect from a three year old child.”

 

Sam and Jack sat open mouthed for a while as they digested the information. Eventually Jack broke the silence as he tried to make sense of what Janet was saying.

 

“So you think Daniel’s got the mentality of a three year old?”

 

“No Colonel, that’s not what I said. I said that it’s his behaviour that’s like a child.” Janet frowned for a moment before explaining. “Actually, I’d say it’s his ability to reason that’s like a toddler’s. It’s like Daniel’s amnesia has affected the parts of his brain that control rational thought and common sense. Like with a toddler – they tend to think along the lines of ‘I want to do it. Why can’t I do it?’ but then they don’t take the ‘why not’ thought any further. They find things out the hard way – by experiencing them rather than thinking them through first.” She looked at Jack, whose face was screwed up in a frown. “Does that make sense Colonel?”

 

“Kinda…”

 

Sam butted in. “Are you saying that Daniel’s a thirty-eight year old toddler?”

 

“A thirty-eight year old, six foot tall toddler, yes.”

 

Sam looked aghast.

 

Jack continued to sit in silence as he mulled over his past dealings with toddlers. He chewed his lower lip and frowned. “Well, this won’t help his stubborn streak any.” He shook his head at the thought of clashing head-on yet again with Daniel over the slightest little thing.

 

“What does all this mean, Janet?” asked Sam.

 

“Well, we’ll have to keep a much closer eye on him for a start. Treat him as you would a child, so that means removing potential dangers, not letting him wander off alone, that kind of thing.” Janet met Jack’s eyes. “We’ll probably have to prepare to answer thousands of difficult questions as well.”

 

“But he’s still way smarter than most people,” protested Jack. “God knows what kind of questions he’ll ask.”

 

“I think they’re actually more likely to be about the basic type stuff, rather than the stuff that only Daniel could possibly know anything about,” Janet gave a wry smile. “Prepare for the ‘where do babies come from?’ type of question.”

 

Jack grimaced. “It was hard enough trying to explain that stuff to a seven year old kid. I’m not sure I’ll be able to talk to Daniel with a straight face. Especially not as he’s actually… done it.” He shook his head as if trying to clear his mind of the thought, and then looked at Janet. “Tell you what Doc, if he asks that particular question I’ll let you answer it.”

 

Janet scowled back at Jack. “Whatever. Anyway Colonel, I’ll let you take Daniel for his lunch and I don’t want to see him before tomorrow morning when I want to check those burns. You. Are. In. Charge.” She raised her eyebrows significantly and Jack got the message loud and clear. “In the meantime, I’ll contact Dr Mackenzie and try to arrange a time for him to come and reassess Daniel.”

 

Jack and Sam retrieved Daniel from the cubicle where Janet had left him. He was talking to one of the nurses.

 

“Hi Jack. I’ve been told that it’s chocolate chip cheesecake for dessert today.” He indicated that the nurse was the source of this information with his head.

 

“Well in that case we’d better get you there before it all runs out,” Jack patted Daniel’s arm, forgetting to give any kind of warning sign before he did so. Daniel flinched slightly. “Sorry,” murmured Jack. At least it was an improvement on the screaming that had been Daniel’s reaction the first time Jack had touched him after his descent.

 

“S’okay.”

 

“How are the fingers now?” asked Jack, changing the subject.

 

“Still sore,” Daniel held up two heavily bandaged fingers.

 

“Ouch,” mouthed Jack in sympathy. “Well, now you know not to touch Carter’s things.”

 

“Sorry Daniel,” muttered Sam guiltily.

 

“Not your fault Sam. I should have known better than to touch without checking first,” Daniel replied.

 

“Why change the habit of a lifetime?” murmured Jack under his breath.

 

The three of them ambled towards the commissary, picking up Teal’c en-route.

 

As the four of them stood in front of the serving counters, surveying the rather dubious offerings that masqueraded as food, Jack realised that Daniel was staring at the food displays with an expression of rapturous delight on his face. In fact, the last time he had seen Daniel look like that it had been associated with some significant archaeological find about three years previously. With a pang of regret, Jack realised just how long ago it had been.

 

The server behind the counter smiled at the archaeologist. “Nice to have you back, Dr Jackson. What can I get for you?”

 

“What’s that?” asked Daniel, pointing at one dish.

 

“Lasagne.”

 

“What’s lasagne?”

 

“Just about edible if you’re really lucky,” Jack muttered to Sam, who tried to hide her smirk.

 

The server described the dish to Daniel, but he still looked confused.

 

“Here,” said the man, scooping out a small amount on a teaspoon. “Taste it.”

 

Daniel took the offered spoon, and tasted the lasagne. His facial expression touched on delight and went right through it to ecstasy.

 

“You want some of that?” asked the server.

 

“Oh yes. And what’s that?” asked Daniel, pointing to another dish.

 

“Chicken chasseur.”

 

“Can I try that please?”  For five minutes the rest of SG-1 watched as Daniel tasted everything on offer and wound up with a small portion of each item on his plate. Despite the small quantities, his plate was heaped with food. He added several desserts and a couple of packets of sandwiches.

 

“You really gonna eat all of that?” Jack asked in amazement.

 

“Oh yes,” replied Daniel, his voice full of delight at the promise of this feast, as he dunked the corner of a ham and swiss sandwich into the chasseur sauce. He took a huge bite and grinned. “This tastes wonderful,” he said round the mouthful.

 

“Whatever you say,” replied Jack. He and Sam exchanged a fond smile.

 

“Is that not an unusual combination of flavours Daniel Jackson?” asked Teal’c, his face solemn.

 

“I don’t know. Is it?” asked Daniel round a mouthful of lasagne and quiche. He was shovelling food into his mouth as if he was starving.

 

“Slow down a bit!” advised Sam. “You don’t want to make yourself ill.”

 

“The combination alone will do that,” muttered Jack, sotto voce.

 

“I’m okay Sam,” grinned Daniel, dunking a dill pickle into raspberry yoghurt and taking a huge bite. “Really,” he added indistinctly in response to his three friends’ slightly disgusted expressions.

 

“Just remember that if you get injured or ill again Janet will have you permanently chained up in the infirmary before you can say ‘Kree’,” warned Jack.

 

The four of them ate their lunch, while Daniel asked an incessant stream of questions with regard to the people around them in the commissary. The others patiently answered the questions that were decipherable around the great mouthfuls of food, and waited for the next one.

 

“Not so fast Danny. You’ll give yourself indigestion.” Jack shook his head fondly as the archaeologist stuffed his face.

 

“Is the food here always this wonderful?” asked Daniel.

 

“Wonderful?” Sam laughed. “I’ve heard you describe the food here in many ways, but I don’t believe I’ve ever heard you call it ‘wonderful’ before.”

 

She and Jack exchanged a knowing look before chorusing “Tastes like chicken.”

 

“Daniel Jackson, I believe I once heard you say that the food here tastes so bad it has to be good for you,” added Teal’c.

 

“I did?” Daniel stared at Teal’c in disbelief. “Why would I say that?”

 

“I think we should get Daniel’s taste buds assessed,” muttered Jack. “There appears to be some lasting damage there.” He grimaced as Daniel took a mouthful of chocolate cheesecake dressed with sweet and sour prawns. “Better get some indigestion remedies in,” he added.

 

After they had finished their lunch - which took quite a while as Daniel had taken more food than he normally ate in a week and was determined to eat the lot – they cleared their trays and left the commissary. Sam took her leave of the group first, apparently itching to get back to the project that had been so rudely interrupted by the finger-burning incident. After she left, Jack turned to Daniel and Teal’c.

 

“I’ve got a briefing to attend. Will you be okay?” he asked Daniel while casting a significant look in Teal’c’s direction.

 

“We will be fine O’Neill,” replied Teal’c. “I shall ensure Daniel Jackson does not sustain any further injury.”

 

“’kay. Catch you later.” Jack wandered off, hands in pockets.

 

Teal’c turned to Daniel, who was walking very slowly. “Is there anything you wish to do, Daniel Jackson?”

 

“Yes. I’d quite like to go back to my room,” replied Daniel, his face screwed up.

 

“Are you in pain?” asked the Jaffa.

 

“Not exactly, but my stomach doesn’t feel right.”

 

“This is not unexpected Daniel Jackson,” replied Teal’c. “The amount of food that you have consumed would make most people feel ill, and you have not eaten as substantial a meal for some considerable time. Allow me…” and the big man grabbed Daniel’s elbow and escorted him to the VIP level.

 

On arriving in Daniel’s room, Daniel immediately disappeared into the small adjoining bathroom. Teal’c sat down in one of the armchairs to wait for the younger man to reappear.

 

After a great deal of noise that let Teal’c know exactly what Daniel was doing, the younger man eventually staggered out of the bathroom and flopped down onto the bed. He groaned and drew his knees up towards his chest, then stretched them out straight again. It was clear that he couldn’t find a position that was comfortable for his abused stomach.

 

“Do you require Dr Fraiser’s assistance Daniel Jackson?” asked Teal’c. “I would be happy to telephone her for you.”

 

“Not Janet,” gasped Daniel. “I shouldn’t have eaten so much lunch.”

 

“Indeed.”

 

“But it all tasted so good,” Daniel groaned again and clutched at his midriff before rolling off the bed and disappearing into the bathroom again.

 

Teal’c spent a boring afternoon watching Daniel lying on the bed moaning and groaning interspersed with trips to the bathroom. After the first half-hour he resorted to the company of the television.

 

About five thirty, Jack reappeared. Daniel was in the bathroom at the time, and Teal’c was watching one of the many Oprah or Jerry Springer type discussion shows on offer.

 

“Where is he?” asked Jack.

 

“Oh God not again,” was the answering groan from the bathroom. Teal’c looked at Jack and raised one eyebrow.

 

“Ah, I see. Eating six dinners has finally caught up with him.”

 

“It caught up with him on arrival in the room, O’Neill,” replied Teal’c.

 

“Really? He’s been like this the whole afternoon?” Jack’s expression was a mixture of disbelief and sympathy.

 

“He has.”  Teal remained expressionless.

 

“Ouch.” Jack gave Teal’c a sympathetic look.

 

There was a pause. “Daniel Jackson has refused any assistance from Dr Fraiser, O’Neill.” Teal’c’s expression remained undecipherable.

 

“Tell you what T, I’ll take over the babysitting duties. You go and enjoy a…” Another groan from Daniel interrupted Jack. “…well-earned break somewhere.”

 

“Thank you O’Neill.” Jack noticed that Teal’c didn’t even attempt a half-hearted offer to stay. Things must have been bad. He waved Teal’c off and settled himself in the chair. Grabbing the TV remote he selected a TV channel more to his own taste, and prepared to wait.

 

After about five minutes and a lot more moaning and groaning, Daniel eventually emerged to flop himself down on the bed.

 

“How’s it going?” asked Jack.

 

“Just leave me to die alone,” Daniel whimpered melodramatically.

 

“That good huh?” Jack muted the re-run of last night’s game and leant forward, forearms resting on his knees. “Your skills as a hostess need some work Daniel. Teal’c couldn’t wait to leave.”

 

Daniel propped himself up on his elbows. “Jack?” He stared around the room in confusion. “When did you get here?”

 

“Not long, but long enough,” replied Jack significantly.

 

“Oh.” Daniel grimaced and clutched his stomach again.

 

“I do believe that it was pointed out to you at least once that eating all that food in one sitting was not a good idea.” Jack sounded pious.

 

“Alright,” grumbled Daniel. He reached for the glass of water that Teal’c had placed by the bed and took a few small sips.

 

“Do you need any indigestion remedies?” asked Jack.

 

“I’m not going to see Janet,” Daniel’s tone of voice bordered on threatening.

 

“That’s not what I said.” Jack held out a packet of Alka-seltzer tablets.

 

Daniel took the proffered pack and stared at it for a while. He read the back of the packet and then dropped two tablets into the glass of water by the bed. He waited until the characteristic fizzing had stopped, downed the mixture with a grimace, and then lay back down on the bed, his arms protectively crossed over his stomach. “I am never eating again as long as I live,” he groaned.

 

“Which won’t be very long if you don’t eat,” laughed Jack. “Although you probably ate enough for the whole week at lunch today.”

 

Daniel didn’t reply; he just turned onto his side with his knees drawn up and his eyes closed. Jack turned the sound back up on the TV and watched the rest of the game. When it finished he turned the TV off and checked on Daniel. He was fast asleep.

 

Jack checked that the monitoring system was on and then headed up to the control room to ask the airmen on duty to keep a close eye on that room in particular and to call him immediately if there were any problems. He also had an airman posted outside the door just in case.

 

Just in case of what? Jack really didn’t know, but Daniel’s unerring ability to find trouble in even the most innocuous situation was constantly at the back of his mind. Take the burnt fingers as an example, he mused. The old Daniel would probably also have burnt his fingers, but it would have been as a result of accidentally touching the soldering iron while reaching for something else.

 

Troubled, he wandered off to see Carter and see what she thought about it all. She was still holed up in her lab, deeply engrossed in the project she’d been working on when they’d dragged her off for lunch. It was all she’d done since leaving the others.

 

She looked up as Jack walked in. “Sir. Where’s Daniel?”

 

“He’s sleeping it off.”

 

“Sleeping what off?” She looked confused.

 

“According to Teal’c, he’s spent all afternoon barfing up the excessive lunch that he ate. Fortunately I missed most of it.”

 

“Oh. That’s not good. The barfing, not you, missing it, I mean…” She tailed off, a worried expression on her face. “Who’s with him now, Teal’c?”

 

“No-one’s actually with him, but I’ve got a man posted outside his room and the control room are keeping a careful eye on the footage from the camera in his room. Any change and they’ll let me know.” He frowned. “Carter, do you think he’s gonna be… normal again?”

 

“I don’t know sir. I hope so.”

 

“So do I Carter. Dealing with a two year old’s tantrums was bad enough, but if that two year old is actually thirty-eight and nearly as big as me it’ll be impossible.” Jack shook his head. “And if he doesn’t improve he’ll never be allowed off-world…”

 

“That’s not a good thought sir. Although his translation skills and archaeological knowledge do appear to be intact - he was reading stuff in latin while he was in the infirmary. He could stay with the program…” Sam suggested.

 

“Getting confined to base would kill him. We both know that.” They looked at each other in silence.

 

“I’m sure it’s temporary sir. The amnesia seems to be gradually disappearing. I’m sure this will as well.” Despite the apparent optimism in Sam’s words Jack didn’t feel comforted by them.

 

*

 

Two mornings later, Jack went to find Daniel and drag him to breakfast. He had a plan for the morning that he hoped would fire up the younger man’s enthusiasm.

 

Since his overeating escapade, Daniel had been a little flat and depressed and, despite the best efforts of his friends to coax him out, had stayed in his room reading most of the time.

 

Jack knocked on the door. To his relief Daniel’s “Come in” sounded quite bright and cheerful. With Daniel in a relatively good mood, his plan stood a chance of working. On entering the room, he found Daniel lying on the bed reading, dressed in boxers and a t-shirt.

 

“Come on, get dressed. We’ve got things to do, places to go today.”

 

“Okay.” Daniel put a slip of paper in the book to mark the page and got up off the bed. He carefully put on his socks, boots and shirt, and smiled at Jack. “Let’s go.”

 

“Daniel – pants?”

 

“Pants?” Daniel looked confused.

 

“Daniel you need to put some pants on. You can’t go out like that.” As he spoke, Jack tugged on the fabric of his own pants as if to demonstrate what he meant.

 

Daniel stared down blankly at his bare legs for a moment before realisation dawned. He blushed and looked up at Jack with a sheepish grin on his face. “Oops! I forgot,” he smiled. He looked around the room and spotted a pair crumpled up on the chair. He shook them out and attempted to put them on without taking his boots off. “Ow!” He fell down hard on his butt.

 

Jack helped Daniel up off the floor. “Try taking the boots off first Daniel. It makes things a lot easier.”

 

Fifteen minutes later, fully and correctly attired, the two of them headed off to the commissary for breakfast. The server handed Daniel a plate of pancakes.

 

“Here you go Dr Jackson. Your favourite. I made them especially for you.”

 

“Thank you.” Daniel took the plate and placed it on his tray with a slightly bemused air about him. He added some juice and a mug of coffee, and then he and Jack went to join Teal’c, who was munching his way what looked like the entire fruit section of the local supermarket.

 

“Good morning O’Neill, Daniel Jackson.” The big man paused long enough to greet his team-mates.

 

“Morning Teal’c.” Jack eyed up the Jaffa’s breakfast. Jonas Quinn’s penchant for eating large quantities of fruit seemed to be catching, he decided, and not just with Teal’c. Half the SGC had recently increased their fruit consumption dramatically. Maybe it was Ferretti’s half-serious theory that Jonas’ apparent super-fit state came from all the fruit he ate. Still, the net result was that the fruit options at the commissary had greatly improved of late.

 

“So Jack, what are these things we have to do and places we have to go today?” Daniel asked round a mouthful of pancake and syrup. Jack made a mental note to have a word with the archaeologist about his table manners in the not-too-distant future.

 

“Ah that’s a surprise. Wait and see.” Jack sipped his coffee and tried his best to look enigmatic.

 

“May I join you and Daniel Jackson?” enquired Teal’c. “I have nothing in my schedule today until this afternoon.”

 

“No problem Teal’c. Seen Carter this morning?”

 

“Yes O’Neill. She had a very light breakfast and went to resume work on her current endeavour. She said it is rapidly approaching completion.” As he spoke, Teal’c kept casting sideways glances at Daniel who was eating his pancakes with relish.

 

“Well we won’t disturb her then.” The others nodded in agreement with Jack’s words. The three of them continued to eat their breakfasts in companionable silence until Daniel suddenly froze, his fork half-way to his mouth.

 

“What’s up Daniel?” Jack asked, full of concern for his friend.

 

“I remember.” Daniel almost whispered back.

 

“Remember what?” Jack was wary – this might be the start of another flashback.

 

“Remember sitting here with you and Sam and Teal’c. But you couldn’t see me.” A frown furrowed Daniel’s brow. “You didn’t know I was there.”

 

“When was this Daniel?”

 

“Just after…” The frown deepened, “…after Sarah… I made her better. Took Osiris out.” Daniel’s eyes were closed. He seemed lost in his memories.

 

“While you were ascended?” asked Jack. He was aware that this memory could be significant. Daniel seemed to have recovered very few from that time.

 

Daniel thought for a moment and then nodded. “I came here to see how you were doing and the three of you were here, and, and I sat with you for a while.”

 

“I remember this occasion Daniel Jackson,” said Teal’c.

 

“You do?” asked Daniel.

 

“You do?” iterated Jack.

 

“Indeed.” Teal’c inclined his head. “I believe we were all aware of your presence but none of us spoke of it until you had left us.”

 

“Really?” Daniel looked amazed. “You knew I was here?”

 

“I did,” replied Teal’c.

 

“See,” grinned Jack, “We were pretty close, no matter how it felt sometimes.”

 

Daniel flushed and stared at the remnants of his meal. Jack’s statement had completely overwhelmed him, as at the time that he’d ascended he hadn’t been sure that he was really wanted here any more. “I-I…” he stuttered, and then stopped, unable to put into words what was going through his mind.

 

“S’okay Danny,” smiled Jack, “Back at yer.”

 

Daniel shot him a look of relief and then took a gulp of his coffee in an attempt to compose himself in the face of his overwhelming feelings. When he resurfaced from the pretence of caffeine consumption, he changed the subject completely. “So is there a set time for these places we have to go and things we have to do?”

 

“Patience, Daniel. Patience,” replied Jack elusively. “After breakfast is plenty early enough.”

 

Daniel scowled back at his friend’s smug grin and pushed his plate away. “I’ve finished,” he declared. “Let’s go.”

 

‘Just like a toddler’, thought Jack as the archaeologist sat drumming his fingers impatiently on the table. ‘Never tell a toddler you’re going to do something unless you’re going to do it imminently.’ He and Teal’c finished their meals at their own pace, much to Daniel’s frustration, and then the three of them cleared their trays away.

 

“So,” demanded Daniel impatiently, “Are we going now?”

 

“Yes Daniel, we’re going now.”  Jack placed one hand on each of the younger man’s shoulders and steered him out of the commissary.

 

Before too much longer they found themselves outside Daniel’s old office. Daniel stood outside the door, a crease furrowing his brow, and then he looked at Jack. “Is this the place Jack?”

 

“Yes Daniel, this is the place.”

 

Daniel walked up to the door and opened it slowly. He stepped inside, followed at a short distance by Jack and Teal’c. Once inside the room, he stopped and slowly turned from side to side, taking it all in. Every so often the slight frown he wore deepened as he surveyed the room.

 

“This used to be my office,” Daniel’s voice was quiet, but it carried with it an air of certainty.

 

“Yes it was,” replied Jack.

 

“Whose is it now?” asked Daniel.

 

“Yours I guess. But Jonas has been using it while you were – erm – weren’t around.” Jack watched Daniel’s face as he digested the information.

 

Daniel’s gaze fell on a pile of books on the desk. His frown changed from one of confusion to one of anger. “Those are my journals, my translation notes.” He walked over and opened the first book. “What are these doing out here? Why aren’t they put away in the proper place?” He picked up the first few books and sorted them into a different order before moving over to the shelves in order to put them away. He stared at the books in the bookshelves for a while and the frown became a scowl. Yanking another book out and adding it to the pile in his hands he was clearly getting angrier by the second. “These are my books! This is my room! How could he spoil it?” he muttered.

 

“Easy big guy.” Jack tried to diffuse what he could sense was building up into a major crisis.

 

“What’s wrong with the Dewey Decimal System anyway?” growled Daniel, mainly to himself.

 

“Daniel, it’s not that serious.”  Jack started.

 

Daniel turned on him, eyes ablaze with anger. “What do you mean ‘it’s not that serious’? What do you know about it anyway, Jack?”

 

“I…” Jack didn’t get a chance to defend his statement before Daniel launched into a tirade.

 

“These are my books and this is my office and he’s taken everything and moved it about so that it makes no sense whatsoever. No-one with any intelligence would be able to find anything in this mess. He’s just totally ruined five years of hard work and organisation. It’s just ruined! Ruined!” Daniel’s voice got louder and louder until he was shouting by the end.

 

“Daniel, it can be sorted out,” said Jack quietly, trying to placate the younger man, although to be perfectly honest, he couldn’t see that the office was any messier now than in the past. In his opinion Jonas was the tidier of the two, but right now his priority was to try to keep Daniel calm.

 

Daniel didn’t reply. He stood clutching his pile of books so tightly his knuckles were white, shaking with anger. He surveyed the bookshelves and shook his head. “Ruined,” he muttered.

 

“Daniel, just say the word and I’ll get the people to sort it out for you. Who do you want to help you?” Jack spoke quietly and calmly.

 

“It’s too much work,” Daniel said bleakly. He seemed to visibly sag from the shoulders.

 

“Daniel Jackson. Allow me to assist you,” intoned Teal’c. “You can instruct me and I will do as you tell me.”

 

Daniel stared at Teal’c, an almost tragic look on his face. “But I don’t even know where to start!” he wailed. He flopped down onto the chair nearest him.

 

Jack quickly realised that Daniel was in need of some guidance, but that he really didn’t have a clue where to start either. He would have to get through to Daniel’s more rational mind – if it was still there to be reached. “Right Daniel – can you see any sections that are more or less right? Pretty much as you left them? We could start with those,” he suggested.

 

Daniel shook his head in response. “It’s pointless.”

 

“Humour me,” replied Jack.

 

With an exasperated sigh Daniel got up from the chair and studied the shelves more closely. Eventually he indicated a tall bookshelf in the corner. “This one’s just about right.”

 

“Okay. Let’s start there. What’s wrong with it?” Jack and Teal’c watched as Daniel pulled a number of books from the shelves. He left them on the table and replaced them with books from nearby shelves.

 

Before long, the three of them had created great piles of books all over the office and were now starting to reinstate them on the shelves in the correct order. Daniel’s mood had greatly improved during the process, and he was now explaining to his helpers the wonders of the Dewey Decimal system, completely oblivious to the fact that neither one of them could have cared less.

 

“See this number here on the spine. That’s the Dewey Decimal number for that book – it’s used by libraries and archives all over the world. These numbers should be in order, starting with the smallest number of digits and increasing but while retaining basic numerical order, so 001.023 comes after 001 and 001.02, but before 001.03 and 001.1 and so on…”

 

Jack phased out the explanation and just enjoyed watching Daniel being, well, Daniel. This was Daniel as he used to be – in his element, where he knew more about something than anyone else and happy to impart every last scrap of the information he had stored in that incredible mind of his. As Daniel droned on and on about the complexities of the cataloguing system, Jack realised that Teal’c’s eyes had completely glazed over with boredom.

 

The Jaffa seemed to come back to full consciousness purely to send a plea for rescue with his eyes.

 

Jack shook his head fondly at Teal’c’s torturer and did as required. “Daniel, I never knew you were a librarian along with all your other talents,” he joked.

 

Daniel glared at him. “Jack, this isn’t just used in libraries. You’ll find it in use anywhere where there are large amounts of information to be catalogued, whether they’re in books or on CDs or microfiche or-or anything. When you’ve got as many books as this it’s always worth making sure they can be found easily by anyone, not just by the person who created the filing system.”

 

“Whatever. Do you want to break for coffee?” Reorganising Daniel’s entire library had not really been the reason why they had come by his office today, and Jack was bored rigid, despite enjoying the fact that since they’d started the task Daniel had been completely normal – no amnesia, no tantrums – just utterly absorbed in something that the rest of the world would find totally, mind-numbingly, dull.

 

“Why? Can’t you just go and get some and bring it back here?” Daniel continued to file books as he spoke, teetering precariously on a chair to reach the higher shelves. He stopped for a moment and looked over his shoulder at Jack. “Actually, why don’t you just get one of those thingies that makes the coffee and we can plug it in here and then we won’t need to stop at all, we can just keep going until it’s done.” He turned back to his books.

 

‘Yep’, thought Jack, ‘same old Daniel.’ He moved to the door. “Okay. I’ll see what I can rustle up. Don’t slack off now Teal’c.” And with that he made his escape before Teal’c had a chance to protest.

 

In the commissary, Jack grabbed three take-out coffees, an orange juice and a selection of the various cookies, doughnuts and muffins on offer. Laden with what he felt were suitable offerings for people re-cataloguing a library, he headed back to Daniel’s office via Sam’s lab.

 

“Hey Carter! How’s it going?” he asked his 2IC.

 

“Sir. Pretty well, actually. I think I’m just about done with this. Next step is to hand it over to the guys who are building the smaller generator and they can see if the two work together.” She looked at the tray Jack was carrying. “Who’s that lot for?”

 

“Well, one’s for you Carter - on one condition.”

 

“Which is?”

 

“You come back and help the rest of us re-organise Daniel’s office till he’s happy with it, and you tell me what happened to his old coffee maker-thingy.”

 

“That’s two, sir.”

 

“Two?” Jack stared at the Major, confused.

 

“Two conditions, not one.” Sam looked back at the object on the desk. She flipped a switch, and the item lit up. Switching it off again, she turned her attentions back to the Colonel. “Okay sir. I’m done here. Let’s go.”

 

Jack took the opportunity to bring Sam up to date as they walked. He explained about Daniel’s reaction to Jonas’ re-arrangement of his office, and how he and Teal’c had been helping Daniel to get things back as the archaeologist perceived they should be.

 

As they approached the door to the office, both were shocked to hear Daniel yelling at Teal’c.

 

“I told you where that should go! You stupid idiot!”

 

Teal’c’s velvet tones were calm, but it was pretty clear to both Jack and Sam that he was hurt by Daniel’s outburst. “Daniel Jackson. I apologise for not placing the book in precisely the location that you indicated. I can assure you that it was not done intentionally.”

 

“Better rescue him,” muttered Jack and he and Sam girded their loins and entered the room.

 

Daniel was stood on his stool, hands on hips, glaring at Teal’c. It was clear to both Jack and Sam that he was pretty close to tears.

 

“What’s going on?” asked Jack.

 

“It was my fault O’Neill,” Teal’c volunteered. “Daniel Jackson asked me to put this book in this shelf and I placed it in the wrong area of the shelves. As you can see from the numbering on the spine, it clearly belongs in the section with these books, and I placed it on the shelf three below it, thereby ruining the sequence.” He bowed towards Daniel. “I apologise Daniel Jackson for my error. It will not happen again.”

 

“It better hadn’t,” muttered Daniel rudely.

 

“Daniel!” Sam admonished.

 

“Daniel. You don’t speak to Teal’c like that again, ever. You understand?”  Jack scowled at Daniel.

 

Daniel scowled back at Jack, but didn’t say a word.

 

“Daniel, you will apologise to Teal’c for being so rude to him.” Jack felt like a parent separating squabbling children.

 

“Why? He did it wrong,” the archaeologist scowled at Teal’c.

 

“Daniel,” warned Jack.

 

“It is not a problem O’Neill,” said Teal’c.

 

“It may not be a problem for you Teal’c, but it is a problem for me. I do not like to hear people speaking to my friends in that way,” Jack looked back at Daniel. “I’m waiting.”

 

Daniel glared at Jack, and then jumped down off the stool, pushed roughly past Jack and Sam and left the room.

 

“Daniel…” Sam turned to follow him.

 

“Leave it Carter,” warned Jack. “It’s me he’s angry with. I’ll go.”

 

“You sure sir?” she asked. “It might help calm him down if it’s not you that goes after him.”

 

“I know Carter,” sighed Jack, “But I still think it should be me.” He put down the tray of goodies onto the workbench and headed out of the office on his quest to find one annoyed archaeologist.

 

*

 

Daniel wasn’t in the first place he looked, or the second, or the third. After fifteen minutes of fruitless searching Jack’s blind rage at the linguist had dissipated, to be replaced by concern as to where the younger man might have disappeared to. In fact, Jack only found him purely by chance as he was walking past one of the isolation rooms and happened to glance through the open door.

 

Daniel was standing in the middle of the room, his back to the door, staring down at the empty bed. The lights were off, the only illumination being the light from the open doorway.

 

“Hey,” said Jack softly as he stood in the open doorway.

 

Daniel didn’t reply, just continued to stare down at the bed. He was gently tracing a circular pattern on the mattress with his fingertips.

 

“You okay?” asked Jack moving further into the room.

 

The only response was a sniff.

 

Something about the silence, Daniel’s posture, combined with that sniff made Jack realise that Daniel was probably crying. “What’s up Daniel?” he asked.

 

There was a long pause before the younger man replied. “It happened in here.” His voice was flat, emotionless.

 

“Sorry? What did?” Jack moved so that Daniel was within an arm’s length.

 

“I… died here.” Daniel sniffed again and rubbed one hand across his face. “In this bed. Here.”

 

Jack grimaced. “Yes Daniel. You did. You can remember? Dying?”

 

Daniel continued to stare at the bed, his finger tracing the outline of his shadow on the mattress. There was a long pause before he spoke. “Not exactly. I can remember the pain. I can remember feeling so tired every breath was an effort I barely had the energy to take. I remember Oma coming and…”  He shook his head and gave a small, hollow laugh. “Why?”

 

“Why what?”

 

“Jack, why would she pick me?”

 

Jack shrugged. “Any number of reasons I guess,” he offered.

 

“Like what? There are far more worthy people than me.” Daniel resumed tracing a pattern on the bed.

 

“There are a whole number of reasons that Oma would think you worthy to go with her. Your humility for one.” Jack ignored the slight snort from Daniel. “Or how about your open mindedness, your determination, or your constant search for the best solution to any problem?”

 

“I hardly think so,” Daniel shook his head. “Why would someone with all her power choose to come all this way to save me?”

 

“You don’t remember? You don’t remember what you told us the first time you met up with us after you ascended?”

 

“No I don’t. I don’t remember much of that time at all.” Daniel still hadn’t so much as glanced in Jack’s direction.

 

Jack grimaced at his tactlessness. He silently berated himself for rubbing in the fact that Daniel couldn’t remember something, when the archaeologist had been struggling with his amnesia, and slowly trying to regain what memories he could. “Sorry Daniel,” he began, when a sharp intake of breath from the younger man interrupted him.

 

Daniel snapped his head up to stare towards the ceiling, before whipping around to stare intently at Jack. “Jack, why didn’t you want me to stay?”

 

Jack was completely taken aback. He stood with his mouth open as he struggled to work out what Daniel was talking about.

 

“All you had to say was stay, and I have stayed. I would have let Jacob heal me and stayed here.” The intensity of Daniel’s stare made Jack feel like he was skewered to the wall with it.

 

“Daniel, you asked me to let you go. That you could do more that way. I only did what you wanted me to.”

 

“What I wanted was for you to give me a reason to want to stay. You made it pretty clear you didn’t want me around any more. I had another option in front of me. I took it.” Daniel stared at the floor. “Pretty pointless really. I didn’t achieve much.”

 

“Daniel, you saved Sarah. You stopped Anubis. What makes you think you didn’t achieve much?” Jack was amazed that even Daniel’s ability to be self-depreciating could downplay the impact of his actions while ascended. 

 

Daniel didn’t reply. He looked up at the ceiling for a moment before staring at Jack again, his gaze a silent accusation.

 

Somehow, being here in the room where Daniel had died combined with the unspoken words behind that incredibly blue stare, Jack felt it all coming back to him – the anguish that he’d felt inside when Daniel asked him to be allowed to die, the pain that he’d felt when he’d realised that Daniel really was going to die this time, that there wasn’t going to be a last minute reprieve. Jack looked away and swallowed hard before he spoke.

 

“Daniel, don’t you realise that letting you go with Oma was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do? It took every ounce of my strength to ask Jacob to stop. I wanted Jacob to try to heal you, but you asked me to let you go, to make him stop.” He closed his eyes as the painful memories overwhelmed him. “Daniel, watching you lying there, slowing dying in front of us was unbearable, for all of us. Jacob couldn’t completely heal you. We all knew that. We just hoped he could make you fit enough to carry on until we could find a sarcophagus. You gave me a way to end the pain. It felt like the right thing to do. Danny, if it wasn’t what you really wanted, you…” Jack choked over his words, “You didn’t give me any clue that going with Oma wasn’t exactly what you wanted. I’m sorry, but that’s how it was.”

 

Jack looked up. Daniel was staring at him, his eyes wide with horror. “Jack, I didn’t know. I’m sorry. I never realised…”  He turned away, “How could I do that to you? After Charlie and everything…”

 

Jack was about to say something to try and calm Daniel down when the thought struck him – Daniel had remembered Charlie. He’d not only remembered Charlie, but what had happened to him.  He opened his mouth to speak, but Daniel was mid-way through remonstrating with himself for his thoughtlessness for Jack’s feelings while he was dying, and was paying no attention to the Colonel at all.

 

“That was so thoughtless of me. I should have realised what I was asking you to do. How could I have been so unfeeling…”

 

“Daniel.” The archaeologist ignored Jack, so he repeated himself, more forcefully this time. “Daniel!”.

 

“What?”  Daniel adopted his most confused expression.

 

“Daniel, under the circumstances you were more than justified in putting your own needs first.”

 

“I was?”

 

“You were dying for crying out loud! I think when a person is dying, particularly when it’s as painful a death as you were experiencing, they are entitled to be a little selfish. Daniel, as far as I could tell, going with Oma was exactly what you wanted to do. Everything you said to me gave the impression that this was the next big adventure in your life, and you couldn’t wait to be off. You didn’t even give the merest hint that you were looking for something else from me.” Jack shook his head as he gazed at his friend. “What else was I supposed to do? I’m not a mind-reader.”

 

Daniel gave a nervous flicker of a smile and looked at the floor, wrapping his arms around himself as he did so. “We’re pretty crap at letting each other know what we really mean, aren’t we?”

 

Jack grimaced, remembering how brittle their friendship had become at that stage. “We were at that time, Daniel. I hope we’re a bit better at it now.” He reached out and put his hand on the younger man’s shoulder. To his relief, Daniel wasn’t startled by it – no flinching this time. “You okay Danny?” he asked.

 

There was what felt to Jack like a very long moment while Daniel stared at the floor, then he looked up at Jack and nodded. “Yeah, I think I am.”

 

“Okay. Shall we go back to the others?”

 

“Others?” Daniel looked confused by this.

 

“Carter and Teal’c. We left them in your office…” Jack hoped that this might remind Daniel about his earlier behaviour.

 

“We did?” A frown creased Daniel’s brow. “I’m sorry. I can’t remember.”

 

Jack bit back a sarcastic comment and sighed. “Daniel, we were putting the books back in the right order in the shelves, and you… you got angry. Remember now?”

 

Daniel's face contorted through several different expressions as he tried to remember. “Not really. Sorry Jack.”

 

“It’s not me you need to be apologising to,” Jack raised his eyebrows.

 

“Really? Who?” Daniel’s expression changed from one of studied concentration to one of embarrassment as he finally recalled what had been happening previously. “Oh. ” He grimaced. “I wasn’t very fair on Teal’c was I?”

 

“Not really.”

 

“I’d better apologise to him.” Daniel nodded in affirmation of his own words.

 

“Yes you’d better had. Come on…” Jack steered the now blushing archaeologist out of the room. “You can work out what you’re gonna say as we walk back.”

 

*

 

In their absence Sam and Teal’c had been busy. A quick call to Sergeant Siler had re-instated Daniel’s coffee maker in his office, and Sam had called in enough favours from people to have just about completed the restoration of the books into the correct order. Most of the assistants had left by the time the two men re-joined their team-mates, leaving just Sam, Teal’c and Siler. Siler had filled the coffee machine and switched it on, and was leaving just as Daniel and Jack walked through the door.

 

Daniel was first to enter the room, and stopped dead in his tracks. Jack, who was immediately behind, walked into him.

 

“Wow!” said Daniel as he surveyed the office.

 

“Ow!” said Jack as he rubbed his chin.

 

“Wow,” repeated Daniel. “Thanks guys,” he added, as he scrutinised the nearest shelves to check that the ordering was correct.

 

“S’okay Daniel,” smiled Sam.

 

“I trust the positioning of the books is to your satisfaction Daniel Jackson,” added Teal’c. “Major Carter assured me that she was familiar with the cataloguing system that you use.”

 

“It’s great, thanks Teal’c,” replied Daniel. “And I’m sorry about earlier,” he added a little sheepishly.

 

Teal’c inclined his head. “I apologise also Daniel Jackson, for failing to follow your instructions accurately.”

 

“No Teal’c, it was my fault, not yours. I need to learn to keep my temper in check,” replied Daniel.

 

“Yes you do,” said Jack. “Now, if everything’s as you want it, can I show you the real reason why we came here today?”

 

“There’s something else?” asked Daniel.

 

“Oh yes.” Jack wheeled the TV stand out from corner where it had been moved out of the way during the re-cataloguing exercise. He looked around for a moment, not seeing what he was looking for. “Carter, did you see a video cassette anywhere? A black box with a yellow label on it?”

 

“Hang on a minute, sir.” Sam looked on one of the shelves where the videos were stored, and pulled out a couple of black boxes. She checked them both and handed one to the Colonel. “Is this the one sir?”

 

Jack scrutinised the label. “Yep. That’s the one. Thanks Carter.” He walked over to the machine and switched everything on, before inserting the tape into the VCR. “Daniel, this came from SG-2’s last mission. It’s stumped all the other archaeologists, so we could really use your expertise on this one.”

 

“What makes you think I’d be of any use?” asked Daniel as Jack pressed ‘play’ and then handed him the remote.

 

“Just a hunch,” replied Jack. He patted Daniel reassuringly on the shoulder. The coffee machine made a slurping noise as it completed its cycle. Sam poured Daniel a cup of coffee and placed it in his other hand.

 

Daniel watched the images on the screen intently as he sipped his coffee. Lieutenant Andrews, the most junior member of SG-2, was indicating some markings at the base of a cliff.  Daniel frowned at the remote before hitting the pause button. He walked up to the screen and squinted at the somewhat indistinct images. “They might be Mayan, but they don’t look quite right. I can’t really make them out - is there anyway to get a better look at them?”

 

“I think Andrews took some rubbings – would that help?” asked Jack, fighting the urge to smile at Daniel in full-on archaeologist mode.

 

“I’d really like to go and see them for myself,” replied Daniel. “That’s the only sure-fire way to be certain whether the shape has been carved or caused by erosion.” He put the remote and his coffee cup down on the floor next to the TV, and found a pad of paper and a pencil.

 

“That’s not going to be allowed just yet, Danny,” Jack replied gently. “How about I go find the rubbings and you use them for now?”

 

“Okay,” replied Daniel, copying the markings onto the paper. Completely absorbed in his task, he didn’t notice the daft grins on his team-mates faces as they watched Daniel in his element.

 

“Did you clear this with Janet, sir?” asked Sam, sotto voce.

 

“Yes. During yesterday’s ‘how is Daniel progressing meeting’ we decided that giving him something constructive to do might help him. Get the old brain cells working properly. That kind of thing.”

Jack grinned fondly at the younger man, sat crossed-legged on the floor, scribbling furiously on the pad and occasionally swigging his coffee. “I’d best go get those rubbings before he starts shouting at me. Don’t want another temper tantrum, now do we?” He was about to leave when a thought struck him. “Will one of you two stay with him, please?”

 

“Don’t worry sir, I’ve got nothing that desperately needs doing. I’ll stay.” Sam smiled. “Besides, I wasn’t around much this morning. It’s about my turn.”

 

“Indeed Major Carter.” Sam thought that Teal’c looked grateful not to have to spend any more time with the archaeologist when he was fully involved in his task. She couldn’t really blame the Jaffa. Daniel tended to get totally absorbed and over-enthusiastic about most things that he worked on, and when it was something as uninteresting as cataloguing books, she could only imagine that the time spent in Daniel’s company this morning had been excruciatingly dull.

 

After Teal’c and Jack left, Sam poured herself a cup of coffee and refilled Daniel’s. She then sat on the floor beside him. He’d already filled one sheet of paper with both copies of the symbols on the screen and a few scrawled notes. Sam tried to read them, but they were written in a language she didn’t understand.

 

Daniel swigged his coffee, apparently unaware that it was both warmer and fuller than before. “This is fascinating. In the middle of what appears to be a form of Mayan script, we’ve got Egyptian hieroglyphs. Amazing. A real cultural crossover.” He picked up the TV remote and wound the tape on a bit further, until the camera scrolled up to a new set of symbols. He paused the tape again, and resumed his task.

 

“Can I help at all Daniel?”

 

Daniel stared at her blankly for a moment. “What?”

 

“Is there anything I can do to help, or anything I can get for you?” Sam smiled at him.

 

“No. No thank you.” He went back to scribbling notes on the pad in front of him.

 

Sam realised that until she’d spoken he’d been completely unaware of her presence. When he’d spoken aloud about his findings it had not been for her benefit. She sighed and just sat back, watching the man as he worked. Since his return to the SGC, she’d not really spent any time alone with him, and it was only now that she realised just how much she’d missed him.

 

Before Daniel’s ascension, the two of them would often work in the same room. They both had a habit of working late into the night – one of the hazards of being both a member of a field unit and one of the primary scientific experts in the SGC – and they would frequently wind up working alongside one another, even though what they were individually working on was completely unrelated. One would appear in the other’s lab, laptop and notes in hand, and the two of them would work in companionable silence.

 

Jack reappeared and interrupted her thoughts. He waved a scroll of paper at Daniel. “Here are your rubbings, Daniel.”

 

“Uh-huh.” Daniel was frantically scrawling stuff next to the latest line of symbols that he’d copied.

 

“I’ve been summoned to General Hammond’s office for a working lunch, Carter. Some stuffed shirt from the Pentagon about something or other. Apparently there was a memo,” Jack pulled a face. “Can you make sure he doesn’t forget to eat lunch?” Jack’s expression made it very clear to Sam that he didn’t actually trust her to fulfil this task, but that he had no other choice. “And I mean take him to the commissary and make him sit and eat. No sandwiches as he works.” Jack scowled at her. “That’s an order Carter.”

 

“Yes sir. Don’t worry sir.” she checked her watch as she replied. It was about 12:30.  She guessed she’d give Daniel another half-hour and then drag him, undoubtedly complaining all the way, for something to eat. “I’ll give him another half-hour, sir.”

 

“Okay kids, I’ll leave you to it.” Jack gave a half wave and then left the office. As he walked off down the corridor, Sam heard him whistling. She grinned. Having Daniel back at the SGC, doing what he did best, was nice for everyone.

 

*

 

An hour and a half later, Sam finally gave in and went and picked up some sandwiches for their lunch. She’d tried repeatedly to get Daniel to stop and have a break, but the only response she got was “Five more minutes Sam” or “This won’t take long” or “Just let me finish this bit.”

 

Sam weighed up the options and decided that ensuring that Daniel ate something was her number one priority. She could try dragging him to the commissary but her memories of her brother’s children when they were younger left her with the distinct impression that this would only result in Daniel throwing some kind of tantrum and then refusing to eat when she eventually got him there.  So she did a mad dash instead and grabbed as much food as could be easily eaten one handed as she could.

 

She walked through the door assessing what she brought. “Okay, we’ve got tuna, ham and swiss, pastrami…” she stopped in her tracks.

 

Daniel was lying on his side on the floor, curled up with his hands pressed to his ears, moaning slightly. Sam discarded the food and knelt down next to the stricken man. “Daniel, what is it? What’s happened?”

 

All she got in response was a pained whimper, and Daniel pressed his hands tighter to his head, as if trying to shut out the sound of her voice.

 

Desperately, Sam searched for the source of the problem. Nothing struck her as obviously being the cause, until she glanced at the TV screen. The tape had moved on from the study of the petroglyphs to a festival in the village that SG-2 had visited. A cacophony of drums and pipes accompanied the whirling colours of the costumes that the dancers wore. She reached up and pressed the stop button on the VCR. The resulting silence was deafening.

 

“Daniel,” she spoke ask quietly as she could, to avoid distressing him any further.

 

He just made a low keening sound in the back of his throat and curled up tighter on himself.

 

Sam stood up and made the phone call. “Medical emergency, Dr Jackson’s office.”

 

*

 

Jack marched into the infirmary and glared at Sam. She was sitting on a chair next to a curtained off cubicle, Teal’c at her side. “What happened Carter?”

 

“I don’t know sir,” she replied. Her posture conjured up an image of abject misery.

 

“What do you mean, you don’t know? You were with him weren’t you?” Jack cocked his head. “Carter, you were with him weren’t you?”

 

“Not exactly. Sir. You see I…” Sam’s explanation was cut off by Janet emerging from behind the curtains.

 

“Doc. How is he?” Jack towered over the diminutive doctor.

 

“He’s resting. We had to sedate him.” Janet crossed her arms and looked at the three of them. “As far as I can tell, he appears to be suffering from some kind of auditory overload. Do you have any idea what might have triggered it Sam? What was he doing?”

 

“He was watching the tape from PY7-093 – it changed from quietly looking at rock carvings to a full-on village celebration – drums, music, noise. I wonder if that was it?” Sam shrugged helplessly.

 

“It might be,” mused Janet. “How was he when he was watching this tape?”

 

“Totally absorbed. It was hard to break his concentration at all.” Sam blushed. “That’s why he was on his own. I couldn’t get him to leave it for lunch, so I ran and got some sandwiches. I was only gone fifteen minutes at most…”

 

“Did you think of turning the tape off, Carter?” growled Jack.

 

“No sir,” blushed Sam. She felt awful, riddled with guilt about leaving Daniel alone in the first place, which was now compounded by the fact that he’d wound up in the infirmary. “Sorry sir.”

 

“What happens now, Doc?” asked Jack.

 

“We’ll leave Daniel alone for a while, let him sleep off the sedatives. Then we’ll take things nice and slowly when he wakes up. No bright lights, no loud noises. No visitors…” Janet watched the three people in front of her stiffen at this. “We need to see how sensitive he is for a while, to ensure this doesn’t happen again. I don’t want him to totally withdraw as a result of sensory overload.” Janet waited for SG-1 to move, but they didn’t. “I’ll let you know if anything changes,” she added.

 

“Right Carter, I want to know exactly what happened,” growled Jack as they took the hint and left the infirmary.

 

*

 

Daniel awoke to find himself in a small room. There was a slight buzz of background noise, and the room was very dimly lit. The walls appeared to be moving slightly. He wondered if the swaying was just in his mind, as he had a headache and felt a little woozy.

 

He closed his eyes again, which helped a little with the wooziness. When he re-opened them, he realised that the walls were actually curtains. Once he’d identified the curtains, he realised that he was in the infirmary. What he wasn’t sure about was why.

 

There was a slight swishing noise and someone came into his cubicle. It was one of the nurses. She bent down and looked at him, as he was lying on his side. “Hello. You back with us?” she asked, her voice very quiet.

 

“I think so,” replied Daniel. His voice sounded loud and abrasive.

 

“I’ll just run these checks and then I’ll get Doctor Fraiser for you,” murmured the nurse. She took his pulse, blood pressure and temperature, asked a few questions and then left, closing the curtains behind her as she did so.

 

Daniel looked around him, his eyes still feeling heavy. There was something missing, but he couldn’t quite work out what it was. He wasn’t sure if the sluggishness of his mind was due to his current dopey state or the amnesia he was still having problems with. Closing his eyes again he realised what was missing.

 

Jack.

 

Okay, not necessarily Jack, but Sam or Teal’c or anyone. It was usually Jack though. He rarely woke up in the infirmary on his own. That was bad news. If there was no-one here then something dreadful had to have happened. Were they okay? Were they dead?

 

Janet startled him by opening the curtains and coming in. He realised he hadn’t heard her heels clicking down the length of the infirmary towards him, an advance warning of her arrival. She moved to the bed and he thought she seemed closer than usual, but he dismissed the thought with a shake of his head. His amnesia was making him imagine impossible things, he decided.

 

“Where’s Jack? Where are the others? Are they okay? What happened?” his questions tumbled out one after the other, his voice sounding shrill to his own ears, making his headache worse with each sound.

 

“Easy Daniel,” Janet said, her voice low and soothing. “They’re all fine. Nothing happened to them. We just thought that it would be easier for you for at the moment to deal with one person at a time.”

 

“Why?” Daniel frowned. He really didn’t understand what was being said to him. “What’s happened?” he rubbed his forehead with the heel of his hand in an attempt to remove the feeling that his brain was wrapped in cotton wool.

 

“Daniel, do you remember what you were doing before you woke up here?” Janet continued to use a low comforting tone of voice.

 

He thought for a moment. “No, not really. I shouted at Teal’c, but that was earlier. I was working on something though, I know that.”

 

“Okay,” Janet smiled gently at him. “We’ll take things nice and slowly. What’s the last thing you can remember clearly before you woke up here?”

 

Daniel frowned. “I’m not sure. I remember that we’d been in my office. We were sorting it out because it was in such a mess.” His frown deepened and he pinched the bridge of his nose. His headache was making it difficult to concentrate.

 

“Are you okay Daniel?” asked Janet.

 

“Not really, I’ve got a really bad headache,” he admitted.

 

“Okay, I’ll just get you something for that.” Janet straightened up and left the cubicle.

 

As he watched her walk away, Daniel realised why he hadn’t heard her approach before. Instead of her characteristic heels, Janet was wearing the white, soft-soled, flat shoes favoured by the bulk of the nursing staff. He smiled inwardly as it occurred to him that that was why she appeared to be closer than usual.

 

Moments later she returned with some pain killers, which she handed to Daniel along with a glass of water. She watched in silence as he took the tablets, and then resumed her gentle questioning. “So, you were tidying up the office because it was such a mess. What happened then?”

 

Daniel thought hard, trying to capture the memories that had so far eluded him. “I was angry. Angry with Teal’c. He’d put something away in the wrong place and I shouted at him, and at Jack. I-I ran away.”

 

“You ran away?” repeated Janet. “Do you remember where you went?”

 

“Er, I-I went… I… no. No. I don’t remember.” Daniel’s expression told Janet that he did remember, but that he wasn’t going to tell her.

 

She had been briefed on his episode in the isolation room, so she decided not to push any harder. “Never mind. Do you remember anything after you ran away? Anything at all?”

 

Daniel suddenly had an image of ancient petroglyphs. “I was studying the stone carvings. They were odd – a mixture of Mayan and…” his eyes opened wide. “The TV. I was studying stuff on the TV.”

 

Janet watched him suddenly become animated, his eyes losing the confused air that had been present. She smiled and gently probed a bit further. “That’s right Daniel – you were. Can you remember what happened next?”

 

Daniel continued to speak quickly. “The pictures changed. They weren’t filming the petroglyphs any more.” He grimaced. “It was so loud.” Daniel’s face was screwed up in an attempt to block out the memories of the cacophony of sounds and colours. “I couldn’t shut it off. I didn’t know how to stop it.”

 

“It’s okay Daniel,” Janet attempted to calm the man who was clearly distressed by the memory alone. “It’s not on now. You’re here with me in the infirmary and everything’s okay.”

 

“It was too much,” repeated Daniel. “It was too loud and I didn’t know how to shut it off.” He shut his eyes and started to curl up into a ball, his hands over his ears.

 

“Daniel, it’s okay, it’s off now.” Janet was concerned that Daniel was in danger of losing himself in the memories of the trauma, triggering another flashback episode.

 

He half-opened one eye and looked at her. “Really?” he whispered.

 

“Really. Listen.”

 

He took his hands away from his ears. “I don’t hear anything.”

 

“That’s right. It’s off now.”

 

He listened again and nodded in confirmation. “Janet, what’s wrong with me?”

 

Janet smiled sympathetically at him.  “I think that your body is still adjusting to being corporeal again. I’m not completely sure, but I think that that contributed to what happened. We think you experienced some kind of reaction to the change in sound on the tape. Almost like a sensory overload.”

 

Daniel sat up. “Sensory overload? Janet, I don’t understand…”

 

“Okay, I’m not making myself very clear am I?” The doctor perched herself on the edge of the bed. “What I think has happened is that when you were watching the tape, you were so absorbed in what you were watching you didn’t notice when the situation changed. Under normal circumstances, you’d turn the volume down, but…”

 

“I didn’t know how to.” Daniel chewed the inside of his bottom lip. He shook his head. “God, I’m such a flake.”

 

“No you’re not,” Janet smiled sympathetically at him. “It’s just taking a while to get yourself back to normal. Remember Daniel, most people who’ve been in a coma are still in hospital at this early stage. You’re actually doing very well.”

 

“Really?” An expression of hope flitted across Daniel’s features.

 

“Really,” affirmed Janet. “I’m really pleased with how well you’re adjusting.”

 

Daniel smiled at her. “So can I leave now?”

 

“Don’t rush it, Daniel. At the moment we’ve got everything adjusted to minimise the sensory input you’re getting. I want to gradually increase it, and make sure that you’re okay with everything before I let you back out there,” Janet grinned as she pointed back over her shoulder, “into the deafeningly noisy, garishly over-lit, hideously over-populated world of the SGC.”

 

“But Janet, you make it all sound so appealing,” he grinned.

 

“Just make the most of the peace and quiet,” she replied. “Although if you’re feeling up to it there are one or two people who wouldn’t mind stopping by…”

 

“Jack.” Daniel nodded. “I was wondering where he was.”

 

“Right here,” Janet opened the curtains to reveal Jack, Sam and Teal’c hovering nearby.

 

“Daniel!” Sam’s beaming smile matched those of Jack and Teal’c.

 

“Hey guys,” Daniel sat up and grimaced as the movement made his head throb.

 

“You okay?” asked Jack, concern etched onto his face.

 

“Yeah, bad headache, that’s all,” Daniel replied.

 

“The medication should start to kick in shortly,” Janet smiled. “But I think until we’re sure that Daniel is fully over this latest problem, you should minimise the time you spend with him.” She held up one finger to stem the protest she could see coming. “I’m sure that before long he’ll be fine, but until then, keep it short Colonel.” She smiled fondly at them, and disappeared in the direction of her office.

 

“Soooooo, what now?” asked Jack, his hands in his pockets, as the three of them drew closer to the bed.

 

“I’m stuck here for a while,” replied Daniel. “At least until Janet decides that I’m not a complete basket case.”

 

“Just a partial one,” grinned Jack.

 

“Well, no more than anyone else around here, anyway.” Daniel smiled back.

 

From the doorway of her office, Janet quietly watched the four of them as they joked amongst themselves. Today’s setback had made her realise that Daniel’s recovery was going to be a long and difficult one for everyone involved, but particularly for SG-1.

 

The team had barely come to terms with the grief and trauma from Daniel’s ascension when he had returned to them, opening old wounds as he did so.  Janet was herself confused by conflicting emotions – elation at Daniel’s return, the still-raw pain at his passing, concern over his current state of mind – and she knew that if she was feeling this way, then SG-1 would be feeling the same way, but infinitely magnified.

 

All that anyone could do was support them as they weathered the many storms that Janet was sure would come. She was hopeful that Daniel would make a full recovery in time, but prior to today, she had been certain that it would happen sooner rather than later. Now, an element of doubt had been placed in her mind and she was fairly sure that even if Daniel did manage to recover fully it wouldn’t be for some time yet.

 

She sighed and headed to her desk to revise her carefully drawn up plans for Daniel’s rehabilitation. A sudden burst of laughter made her look back – Jack must have said something silly because all three of his team-mates – even Teal’c  - were falling about laughing while he pulled exaggerated expressions of innocence.

 

Janet smiled fondly and paused for a moment as she savoured the sight of SG-1, relaxed and laughing. It was something that she hadn’t seen for much longer than the year that the team had been separated for, and it felt good.  She indulged herself and stood watching them before facing the ever-increasing mountain of paperwork on her desk.

 

Chapter 3 - Home

 

 

 

* fin *

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Athene