Space
NASA Scientists are currently testing a small rocket capable of blasting cakes into orbit and safely guiding them to orbiting craft.  A custom-built chamber keeps the cake at a safe temperature as it leaves the Earth's atmosphere, ensuring that it arrives in an edible and pleasant condition.  The project is the brainchild of astronaut John Hanover, who likes cakes.

Medicine
The winner of the fifth annual Most Unpronounceable Disease Award was announced yesterday in Geneva.  Chairman Hans Grusmeyer is reported to have said that it was the closest contest in the award's short but distinguished history.  The winner was the British Genetics Centre with Hypocephalophoniniminimininism, a minor hereditary memory defect which affects only 1 in 46 million people.  This dashed the hopes of Italy's germ research team, who had high hopes after discovering the highly poisonous virus Excenosmoxziwlzx in a sample of rock collected from the bed of the Atlantic Ocean.  Mr. Grusmeyer explained that the Italian bid lost after it was discovered that people fluent in Polish could pronounce the name with relative ease after only a few hours practice.

Physics
Swiss experimental physicist Sven Borinsson is again petitioning the International Physics Council to acknowledge the existence of his head.  This is his third attempt since 1994, when the Council first doubted his head's existence due to insubstantial proof.   Dr. Borinsson is said to have collated a huge amount of evidence, including photographs of his head, a detailed x-ray analysis of the bone structure above his neck, and the fact that he is alive.  The Council remains unconvinced, and in a recent press release stated:
"We remain unconvinced of the existence of Sven Borinsson's head.  Whilst we agree that previous petitions showed there was certainly some kind of fleshy mass connected to his neck, there is not nearly enough information to describe this construct as a 'head' or anything else.  However we will, of course, give careful consideration to any fresh evidence produced."

Environment
Ecologists are becoming increasingly concerned at the sudden acceleration of global warming.  Average temperatures the world over have increased drastically beyond predicted levels, and the situation came to a head last week when it was discovered that the Indian Ocean has started to boil and most of Spain is on fire.  An emergency summit was called in America, where ecologists begged for the country's pollution to be brought down to acceptable levels.  In attendance was President George W. Bush, who sat in the corner with his fingers in his ears loudly singing "LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA" for the entire duration of the meeting.

Technology
Corporate giant Sony unveiled it's replacement for the popular DVD format at a packed press conference in Tokyo last week.  The format, known as ScoreDisc or 'SD', is the same size as a DVD and holds exactly the same amount of information.  It is, however, completely incompatible with all existing players and discs can only be played within 3 miles of the shop they were purchased from.  Over fifty companies, including big names such as Warner Brothers, Universal Pictures and Disney, have already signed up to release future movies exclusively on ScoreDisc.  "We're very excited by this development," said a Disney spokesman.  "We should be able to drive up prices of our releases by at least as much as 75%, perhaps even more.  This also gives us a chance to re-release all our back catalogue yet again."

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