At last - a practical message system suitable for small businesses.
The CP21 system needs to be installed in the basement of your offices. When a gentleman attempts to contact your company by telephone and no clerks are available, such as hours after the office closes or statutory holidays, the telephone will be answered by one of four small children. The child will speak politely to the gentleman and take down a note of his business. Next, the child will run to the current location of one of your appointed clerks, be him at his home or a golf course, and hand the note to him. If necessary, the child can then be furnished with a reply note from the clerk and call back the telephoning gentleman to disseminate the content.
The CP21 comes complete with four specially trained children, each clothed in a smart uniform. When they inevitably die from exhaustion and malnutrition, replacements can be obtained from our offices at a discounted price.

A truly astounding breakthrough in the field of portable telecommunications, the MP12 can actually transmit and receive telephone calls sent by radio waves without the need for wires and cabling.
Using cutting-edge radiograph technology developed in association with the research department of the Italian army, the MP12 is the world's first truly portable telecommunicator.
Multiple MP12 units can instantly relay messages to each other, and as such is an invaluable aid to both the military and the constabulary. This will be the first time technology has been simultaneously released to both the world's Governments and consumers.
The MP12 can operate for up to 3 hours standby or 18 minutes transmission using the internal electricity reservoir. It's radio signal can carry for up to a mile on a clear day.
This product is currently being tested by the German police (please refer to photograph) and will be publicly available well before we next declare war on them.

The MP300 is one of the most advanced electronic devices ever created by humanity. It is essentially the same product as the MP12 described earlier, but in a handset only one-eighth the size and two-thirds the weight.
How is this modern day miracle achieved? By the intelligent application of two of Dr. Ashen's most celebrated inventions - the Reduced Valve and the Tri-Point Non-fluctuating Electrical Energy Conduit.
However, such technical excellence comes at an immense cost. The price of the MP300 is likely to be so high that only the most affluent Arabian sheiks will be able to own one.

Please be aware: The lady shown holding the MP300 prototype in the publicity photograph reproduced here is a professional model. She was hired purely to provide a pretty face for your viewing pleasure. Dr. Ashen's Portable Telecommunication Devices Company in no way condones the use of its products by women. Any use of our devices by females will immediately invalidate all guarantees and warranties.