SNK announces plans for clairvoyant NeoGeo peripheral

Electronics manufacturer and video game company SNK today publicly announced plans for a new extension to it's popular NeoGeo Pocket Color console. Computer journalists were expecting the company to launch a TV tuner module, similar to a device rival company Sega produced for their Game Gear console several years previously. They were therefore surprised when SNK spokesman Yu Satori unveiled the NeoGeo SpiritLink, an add-on which allows the purchaser to contact the dead.

Mr. Satori could barely contain his excitement as he described the device at a press conference in Tokyo. "The NeoGeo SpiritLink is the first consumer-level product to allow communication with the souls of the departed. People can now converse with their deceased ancestors for up to 17 hours on two standard AA batteries. We really think this will capture the imaginations of people worldwide."
A brief demonstration of the product was presented to the awed crowd. It involved Mr. Satori speaking to his dead grandmother about various subjects, including why she left all her money to the cat's home and why he hasn't yet found a nice girlfriend.

Carl Geddis, a journalist for Games Monkey magazine, was present at the demonstration. Whilst he is generally impressed with the SpiritLink, he had several reservations. "The image quality was very good, and the sound was certainly clear. However, as a microphone was not included in the design of the SpiritLink, Mr. Suzuki had to enter his questions and answers via an on-screen keyboard system. It was very slow and cumbersome, not the sort of thing you want to contend with when contacting the other side. Also, Mr. Suzuki was possessed by evil spirits three times during the conversation, implying that the internal exorcism microchip still has some work to be done on it."

It is believed that if the NeoGeo SpiritLink sells in the quantities that SNK predict, it will spell the end for conventional psychics and clairvoyants. The International Psychic Association are already looking for another way they can rip-off gullibile old ladies.


All text copyright and intellectual property of Stuart Ashen

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