Coming soon to a book shop near someone you've never met...
THE
GUINNESS
BOOK OF
PATHETIC RECORDS
Have you ever wanted to be listed as record breaker, but were too lazy or untalented to actually achieve anything interesting? Well, your chance for fame may have finally come with the publication of the Guinness Book of Pathetic Records!
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This new book offers over 800 new records - all of which are completely meaningless, subjective and easily broken by just about anyone. But that doesn't mean it's any less authoritative than the traditional Guinness book. It still comes in an outsized, heavy hardback format with a holographic cover and a foreword by popular children's presenter Anton Dekk (left) - so many people will be fooled into believing the listed records are worth reading! |
Here's a sneak preview of just some of the records that will be featured...
| Most unconvincing impersonation of Prince Charles | Least imaginative monthly magazine |
| Worst excuse for being late for work | Rudest job interviewer |
| Most half-arsed collection of Star Trek videos | Longest anecdote about dull holiday experience |
| Least realistic TV drama | Least impressive CV |
| Rudest checkout cashier | Most trivial reason for divorce |
| Most heartless punishment of a pet hamster | Worst reason to have a child |
| Least interesting death by firearm | Most obviously made-up autobiography |
| Most disinterested father | Least impressive fancy-dress costume |
| Most pointless Ebay auction | Shortest attempt at a diet |
So don't delay - pre-order your copy now! In the words of popular Guinness expert and TV personality Norris McWhirter:
"My
brother's name is Ross!"