"Can't do that"
"WHY EVER NOT"
"It's an illegal move"
"IT IS?"
"Yes"
"BUT IT WINS ME THE GAME"
"Exactly, it's the fist turn, anyway, white always move first"
"HOW VERY NAIVE"
Albert gave up. He buried his head in his arms and groaned, When he looked back, Death was a million miles away.
"Something been troubling you Master?" Albert asked, relieved that the chess game looked like it would be forgotten. Suddenly, Death's tone was very serious.
"IM GETTING THAT FEELING AGAIN, ALBERT." Albert didn't like the sound of this. He was all too familiar with where it might lead.
"Which feeling would that be, Master?" he asked with guarded caution.
"THIS IS THE FEELING THAT SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN, SOMETHING BIG"
Death's eyes flared blue as he spoke the last comment. Something big. Big things happened all too often for Albert's liking. But Albert's subconscious grumbling was interrupted by the object, which Death placed on the table. It was a life-timer; the name carved on to it was not familiar to Albert.
"Ponder Stibbons? Ponder who? Hah! With a name like that I reckon you might be doing him a favour!" Albert joked, years of solitude in the realm of the unreal has adverse effects on someone's sense of humour. Death ignored the comment.
"I REGARD THIS ONE WITH INTEREST, WHAT EVER IS TO OCCUR, HE HAS AN IMPORTANT PART TO PLAY" Death waved his hand in a gesture that could extinguish the light from a galaxy of stars. More life-timers appeared. More names that were nothing more than labels carved into crafted wood.
"AS DO THESE."
"I don't know any of 'em, I think I'd remember meeting a Carrot, or an Angua"
Albert had run out of comments to make. But then a horrible thought struck him. It made him angry rather than afraid.
"'Ere, you are going to stay put, aren't you?" He demanded.
"I DONT THINK I FOLLOW."
"I mean, your not going to pull one of your disappearing acts and leave me stranded with a foolish farm boy, or a self-righteous schoolgirl, or that bloody comedy duo, ‘The Rat and Raven Show’? If you do...." Death raised his fingers to his teeth.
"REST ASSURED ALBERT, WHATEVER IS GOING TO HAPPEN, I SHALL REMAIN IN MY USUAL CAPACITY"
And the two of them stared at the life-timers for a while, passing no comments. There were five life-timers on the desk, each one looked identical apart from the names. Then Albert broke the silence.
He pointed to one of the life-timers.
"'Ere Master, this one is nearly empty, that's your cue, isn't it?"
"INDEED IT IS." Death checked the name.
"SADDLE MY HORSE ALBERT."
And Albert left for the stable, leaving Death alone. He double-checked the name. Then he rose from the chair, a most daunting sight.
"AND SO, IT BEGINS." He said, to himself, which is actually quite a self to say something to.
Binky reined in outside the gates of Pseudopolis Yard and Death dismounted. Looking around him, he saw the pile of rubbish by the gate and dropped his curry container on top of it. A moment later, he was striding in through the door towards the room in which Carrot and Ponder lay. When he reached the door, he paused. After a moment's deliberation, he side-stepped it and went through the wall. Both figures on the two beds sat up.
"PONDER STIBBONS? CARROT IRONFOUNDERSSON?"
Death held up two lifetimers in one skeletal hand. The sand inside slowed, as though it were wet, and then; stopped altogether.
"GENTLEMEN, IF YOU WOULD BE SO GOOD AS TO ACCOMPANY ME."
Ponder looked at Carrot and then at Death and, being an intellectual, decided to look on the whole thing as an opportunity rather than something to worry about and stood up. Carrot looked at Ponder, then at Death. Being Carrot, he bypassed fear and went along with the situation. He also stood up and the two of them followed Death out of the wall. When they were in the courtyard, Ponder, ever eager to learn more about the nature of Death, leaned forward and said,
"Excuse me sir, just where are we going?" Death turned slowly to him and Ponder rationalised that questioning Death might not have been a great idea. Death merely smiled and said,
"WELL I COULD ABSOLUTELY MURDER ANOTHER CHICKEN VINDALOO. CARROT?"

*****

In the great hall of Unseen University, Kylah Stibbons was making life very awkward for Archchancellor Ridcully.
"But my dear Miss Stibbons"
he cooed (or tried very hard to coo), toying with his miniature crossbow under the table as he waited nervously for Mrs Whitlow to arrive with the Klatchian coffee. The entire rest of the faculty had deserted him. Some had the decency to plead prior engagements but others, led by the Dean, had merely fled when Kylah started to look dangerous.
"I'm not your dear anybody" snapped Kylah. "Now I know that Ponder never mentioned me, and it doesn't surprise or hurt me, but will you please tell me what you've done to him. Or rather..." she smiled faintly, remembering her brother's early childhood, before he went to the University, "what he's done to himself?"