“E… excuse me?”
“WELL, AS THE FIRST GUESTS IN MY GUESTHOUSE, WHICH DO YOU PREFER?”
“Guesthouse?” asked Carrot, utterly unfazed.
“YES. I APOLOGISE FOR COMING FOR YOU LIKE THAT, BUT I THOUGHT THAT WITH SO MANY PEOPLE COMOTOSE FROM TIME TO TIME, THEY’D LIKE SOMEWHERE TO STAY, INSTEAD OF LOITERING AROUND THE BODY”.
“First rate idea Mr. Death.” Said Carrot, seeing somewhere in Death an anthropromorphic personification after his own heart.
“G… G… Guesthouse?” stammered Ponder “G… G… Guesthouse?”
“YES MR STIBBONS. DO YOU NOT KNOW OF THEM?”
Ponder, despite the fact that he technically had no body or current life, passed out.

*****

In his room, the Dean sat at his desk with one of the drawers in front of him. He was idly rooting through it, more to pass the time before the next meal than to find anything. So far, he’d come across a picture of Ginger, the moving picture star, the wheel from one of those strange wire baskets on wheels which had been rolling around the Disc at one point, a copy of Blert Wheedown’s guitar primer, and a chocolate cigarette so far.

“Yo”, whispered the Dean to himself, lost far in the mists of his own private world. Lost almost as deep as the Bursar went. He came round when he was dragged off his chair by the Librarian. Tired of failing to draw the Dean’s attention to him, the Librarian had opted for a less subtle means of getting attention. The Librarian in front and the Dean flailing behind him, they headed down to the Library.

*****

Kylah Stibbons woke up with a headache,
"That's the last time I'm staying here." she grumbled to herself. When she went downstairs14 she met Jhasi already at the bar, he looked extremely tired,
"Where were you? I was up till about 1.30 waiting for you to come back!" she said wearily.
"Erm, I've just got back. I...had an audition for the Musicians Guild."
"And you had to stay up all night for that I suppose?"
"They...had a lot of people to see...only time they could fit me in....Look, that's enough questions, Kylah, if we're going to be staying here for a while, which I presume we will, due to the circumstances. We'll need money for food and board, music is what I know, I'll earn more from that than anything else." he grumbled.
"Okay, I take your point. Look, I need to go back to the University...I was thinking a lot last night..."

They arrived back at the University an hour later, arguing all the way.
"Are you sure that you're experienced enough to attempt it?...Mistress Weatherwax will be annoyed if anything happens..."
"Will you shut up about 'Mistress Weatherwax' for one minute? This is a chance to get my brother back, do you have any ide.."
"Can I help you with something....or would you rather bring the whole flipping place down with your petty arguments?" shouted Ridcully. The two gaped at him for a minute, then Kylah broke the silence.
"Erm...how is my brother....do you know?" she asked nervously.
"They took him down to the Watch House last night. Erm, I hear he's a little worse I'm afraid."
"I had an idea, I've been thinking all last night...Umm. I was thinking of borrowing his mind to see if I can get through to him..." Ridcully looked at her blankly, "...You know, er...mind projection?" she added hopefully.
"Well, I suppose anything's worth a try...."
Kylah knocked on Carrot's door and walked in quietly, Angua, who had been sleeping on a chair nearby woke up with a start.
"Who are you?" demanded Kylah.
"I'm Sergeant Angua..." then noticing her expression, added, "...Captain Carrot's girlfriend, and, you are?" Kylah frowned,
"I'm Ponder Stibbon's sister. Your boyfriend tried to kill him."
"There's no excuse to be like that...I have no say in what Carrot does when I'm not around. He controls his actions, I don't." she snapped. "Why is this room full of wizards?" she added.
Kylah focused her mind, and concentrated on becoming part of Ponder's mind, she felt her surroundings fade for a moment, but before the thought crossed her mind, she bumped into the metaphorical brick wall, and her surroundings grew clear again.
"I can't get through to him," she gasped, "He's just not there, almost as if...his soul isn't there...that's it! Archchancellor, is it true that you can contact Death?"
"Yes, of course. The rite of AshKente is the best method...why?" he asked suspiciously.
"I'm almost positive that he has my brother's soul.." she exclaimed, "...And possibly Captain Carrot's too.." she added with a touch of malice.
"What?" laughed Ridcully, "They're still alive....in a manner of speaking...they're still breathing."
"Yes, but, the room feels so cold, it's like there is no life in them at all, they're just shells." she persisted. "Please, will you try your Ash Kenty rite, or whatever it's called? What harm could possibly come of it?"

“'Hello, Y am sorry, but Y cannot be here at the moment, rest assured Y wyll be there all too soon. Thank you for your patyence', Is this some kind of joke."
The Archchancellor asked angrily as he stared down at the skeletal figure that had materialised at the end of the Rite. It looked for the entire world like a small skeletal rat.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
14: Or what was left of it after the previous night's rioting.