Through and off …

Through and off …..the back and out of the race (again)

Road Racing exploits of the Yorkies BC, TLI and LVRC riders (but no 1^st cats yet)

April 2005. Eastway, Hillingdon, Bike Show, Thurcroft CC RR, Cleavland Couriers RR

Throughout April I was the most popular fellow in the peloton as roadies from all over the country tried to woo their way into this column. However, my status has rapidly changed over the last few months as the delivery of my monthly report has repeatedly missed its deadline. I have received bags of hate mail and have been repeatedly boxed and elbowed in races so I thought I better get this report on line within the next week before I suffer a ‘freak, but fatal, accident’ during a race. So here it is, for what its worth, “The next eagerly awaited "Through and Off" latest instalment” …. for April 2005 – and yes I know it’s July now!

The exploits of the Yorkies’ Road Racers during April only reinforced what the rest of the local peloton has known for years that the Hammer, Hippo, and Sluggish couldn’t win a road race if their life depended on it. Take for example the race tactics of Sluggish Saint at the Pete Gannon Memorial Race. Clearly, upset, and some say annoyed, at being branded ‘Sluggish’ the Near Vet time trial specialist decided to jump off the front of the pack with over 100 km to go. Each lap the marshals would shake their heads in disbelief as Sluggish slogged away like the true tester that he is in the vain hope that he might win the race. But road racing rarely rewards hard workers so with one lap to go and the marshals starting to believe that Sluggish might pull off a surprise win, the peloton turned up the heat and swept over the top of him in the last few kilometres. To his credit Sluggish held onto to 9^th spot giving the Yorkies their first, and possibly only, BC points of season.

On the other hand, The Hammer and The Hippo weren’t even close to losing a win. The Hippo was criterium racing in the big smoke (London not Barnsley). He bit off more than he could chew at the Bill Temme Memorial Meeting on the Eastway (Lee Valley) Cycle Circuit having entered the Masters and 3^rd cat races back to back. With only a few hours break between the two races, and no chip shop in sight to replenish his depleted fat stores, the Hippo became the first ever Crit. Racer to bonk during a race. He was forced ‘to retire’ by an agitated commissaire because the Hippo’s hypoglycaemic state was making him a danger to fellow riders. For the record he crawled home in 23^rd place in the Masters race, with Steve Cave of Yorkshire Road club being awarded 9^th place on the BC web site - probably a typographical error on the result sheet by the organisers although The Hippo was seen fleeing from the event in the wake of accusations that he had tampered with club names on the signing on sheet. YRC club officials have reprimanded the Hippo (for not altering one of the top 3 finishers). A day later the Hippo tried his ‘two race a day plan’ at the Hillingdon circuit, this time with only a one hour break between the races. This time there was a chip shop close by, so the Hippo managed to complete both races in the pack. He hopes that this novel approach to racing will reap rewards later in the season when he plans to race three road races in a morning, providing he has access to a fish and chip meal between events.

A week later the Hippo and Hammer were in front of their adoring fans at the Bike Show Criterium. Unfortunately, when the start flag went down the Yorkie riders were still talking to the crowd leaving a group of ten riders to brake away never to be seen again. Despite the Hammer’s best efforts to reign in the escapees it was all in vain and the yorkies finished 11^th (Hammer) and 16^th(Hippo) – the BC report and photos are at http://www.bcf.uk.com/results/2005/04_april/02_stoneleigh.shtml.

Following the early season criteriums, came the rush of BC spring road races with the Hammer, Hippo and Sluggish trying their luck at the Cleveland Coureurs Road Race (Sunday, April 10, 2005; Stokesley Leisure Centre; 2/3/4/Juniors; 115Km) and at Thurcroft CC Spring Road Races (Sunday, April 24, 2005; Thurcroft Welfare Hall). At Stokesley, The Hippo lasted 4 of the 6 laps with the Hammer, Sluggish and Tony McCullough (Ferryhill Wheelers – citation fee due) finishing in the main pack. At Thurcroft, Sluggish finished in the main pack during the E/1/2 cat race whereas the Hippo and Hammer nearly won the 3/4/J race. When I say nearly won I really mean tried to get to the front of the bunch with 5 kms to go. In fact the Hippo and Hammer were fighting against each other to lead each other out, and by the time the Hippo conceded that he should follow the Hammer’s wheel, the Hammer was too knackered to maintain the pace…..and they were swamped by the main field with 2 kms to go.

So that was April…. except that is for the Croft Park Circuit Races with appearances from Derek ‘red mist’ Grant, Andy ‘ broken hub’ Bairstow and Mike ‘I’ll turn up once to Croft’ Dixon. There was also success, relatively speaking, for the Hippo at an LVRC event… but all this will have to wait for next months instalment. Expect it in October 2006!