Through and Off …the back and out of the race.

Race reports following the escapades of the Yorkies 4th Cats

Sunderland Clarion Spring Circuit Race 2 – 13-3-04

Die-Hard (Steve) Houghton and Fool-Hardy (Mark) Johnson were back up north for their second Australian Pursuit race on the Hetton Lyons circuit. They were brimming with confidence following a report of last week’s race appearing in the Newcastle Evening Chronicle with a full colour picture of Die-Hard at the head of the peleton. However, Die-Hard was a little miffed because it named him Mark Johnson when clearly Mark Johnson would never be found at the head of any bunch of cyclists.

Die-Hard and Fool-Hardy had decided to attack the race from the start, but their fellow 4^th cat racers had other ideas and soon the Yorkies were hanging on to the back of the long marker pack. What 4^th cats lack in fitness they make up for in enthusiasm so when they got sight of the scratch group in the home straight of lap 1, they got over excited, overcooked a corner, and sent 6 riders, including Fool-Hardy Johnson into a grass verge a la Lance Armstrong. By the time Fool-Hardy rejoined the race long markers were strewn all over the course, David Duffield was ranting about ‘penny numbers’, and the scratch group was heading off into the sunset with a hand full of our 4^th cat colleagues.

There was little chance of catching the escapees, so in true die hard fashion Die-Hard Houghton began to climb off his bike. Fool-Hardy on the other hand hadn’t paid £9.70 for a one lap race, so he forced Die-Hard to dig deep and with a hard core of 4^th cat riders they went off in chase of the elopers. The next 10 laps were grim with Die-Hard and Fool-Hardy pulling the poursuivants around the rollercoaster course slowly gathering 4^th cats as they dripped one by one out of the back of the scratch group. Soon the poursuivants only had one remaining long marker to catch (T Hooper, Regal RC ) but he was so far in front that he had already started to deposit his prize money into his bank account.

By lap 20 the tide had turned and Die-Hard and Fool-Hardy had to relinquish control of the peleton to the scratch group who had finally caught them up. Nevertheless, in a surprise move, Fool Hardy jumped off the pack with Lewis Meadows (Cleveland Wheelers) and soon they were out of sight with over a 100 yard gap. The peleton let Fool-Hardy dangle for 3 laps so that he could fully experience the feeling of riding himself into the dark underworld of ‘Racer’s Knock’ before they reeled him back in on the penultimate lap. As the speed began to wind-up on the final lap Die-Hard and Fool-Harding began to feel the elastic stretch but through a mix of tenacity and bloody mindedness they managed to hang on and with the finish line in sight pulled out all the stops to pick their way through the sprint mêlée to land 5^th (Fool-Hardy) and 7^th (Die-Hard) place for the Yorkies.

Completely glycogen depleted, the Yorkies were incomprehensible. ‘Is this a prime lap?’ asked Fool-Hardy during the post-race warm down lap, ‘Shut up and take your turn at the front’ replied Die-Hard. Fool-Hardy was distraught when he found that his prize money for 5^th place was the same as he received for 6^th place in last week’s race. At this rate, the 30p weekly profit that he is making over and above the cost of entering the race will enable him to buy a coaching session with Dave Lloyd in 2010. The post race prize giving was marred by the absence of Die-Hard Houghton. Police later found him cycling on the outside lane of the A19 claiming that he was late for a race in Thurcroft.